Drug/Alcohol exposed children: When to seek help
My daughter was exposed to meth in utero and experienced some withdrawal symptoms at birth. She exhibits some typical behaviors for meth exposed babies - short temper, lack of patience, delayed motor development.
I feel like up to this point we have been able to handle these personality traits, but now that toddlerhood is in full swing, I am feeling a little overwhelmed and not sure how to deal with the behavior. We were not given the adoption assistance (we technically adopted from foster care, although it is a kinship adoption) since she didn't 'need' it (based on a screening). However, she did qualify for it (exposure to drugs/alcohol is automatic qualification) and we just have to submit some paperwork showing the need.
My question is how do you know when you need the assistance? How do you sort out the difference between normal toddler behavior and issues from the drug exposure? What kind of assistance is provided? Did you find your pediatrician to be helpful in providing recommendations?
I just want to know how I can help my DD handle her emotions by being a reasonable loving parent, not a frustrated one.
Re: Drug/Alcohol exposed children: When to seek help
This is a great question - while DD doesn't seem to have dev delays, she does exhibit some behaviors I am questioning myself - and also argue with my own brain whether they are typical toddler things or not.
Inquiring minds want to know...
I guess I would start with my Pedi - and see what they think in comparison to children of similar age.
If I thought they were blowing me off, I'd then see what kind of eval I could get in the community - child psychologist, speech pathologist, PT/OT, etc. If the state provides evaluations for this purpose, I'd start there - then utilize our private insurance as a backup.
Like PP said, trust your Mommy instincts. You are prolly the best judge of her progress.
An evaluation can never hurt. If you have the resources available and even an incling of concern, I would reach out. I dont see any reason not to. Best of luck!
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I think this is what I want to make sure I do. I want to provide her with the support she needs to become an amazing person that I know she can be, at the same time I don't want her to excuse her way through life because of the difficult start she got.
The tough part for me is that I have another child (my DS) who is so close in age. It's very hard not to compare because they are individuals and different genders, but I see him do many of the things she's doing but does them 4 months earlier than her. On top of that he doesn't seem to have the impulse control issues that my daughter has had since day 1. Of course it could be that he is doing things earlier because he has her as a little model (except when he does them before her) and his personality is definitely more my husband's with being laid back and going with the flow.
My gut is saying it's probably a good idea to get another screening and at the very least talk to the pedi at the next appointment in a few weeks.
Have you had her assessed by Early Intervention Services (or whatever it is in your state)? I'ts free and provides sliding-scale services until the kids are 3 (when it shifts into school-based services). I highly encourage it--we plan to have our son assessed, primarily for language development.
With so many developmental issues, getting the behavioral therapy right away can make such a huge difference.
We did. It was required in order to finalize the adoption. She was 13.5 months old and she was considered within the range of 'normal', although on the later part of the spectrum. I'm thinking another screening may help because I agree that getting EI can make a huge difference for her (and for us as parents).
It just seems like she should be saying at least one clear word at 18.5 months at she's not (she says about 10 almost words and has pretty good receptive language). She is not physically doing some of the things (like climbing) that my DS is doing and he's 4 months younger. Her outbursts have gotten worse, which I think has a lot to do with her inability to communicate.
You are describing my 17 month old! He doesn't really talk (sort of says mama) and the tantrums are TERRIBLE! I honestly dread going home some days.
We don't believe he was exposed to any drugs/alcohol, but who knows whether the BM was honest?
It doesn't help the my neighbor (SAHM) comes over with her 20 mo and has her do stupid human tricks...
I feel that this is excellent advice. In reading what you are saying it seems you have some idea of what to do--but seeing a child psychologist or a developmental psychologist--someone who is an expert in the field of where your daughter should be at this stage could definitely help you out and arm you with more knowledge!
Good luck Sally.
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I guess I'm answering a little late in the game..
In our state, we have program called "parents as teachers" Do you have that in your area? Basically, the school districts have individuals they pay to go into the homes and assess to see where your kiddos are doing. It's completly voluntarily but there are not only home visits, but group meetings/activities for parents/kiddos, annual developmental screenings, connections to resources and referrals if needed.
If you don't have that, I'd talk to your Pedi and see if they have any referral services to have a developmental screening done. They will know the best ones in your area.