Parenting after a Loss

Ugh. Had my review at work today

and I'm kinda pissed about it.

First off, my review should have been done in February.  My boss kept telling me he'd "get to it"... this went on and on for months.  Today I was in his office and he said "let's do your review."  OK, fine.

Well he started reading this typed of sheet of paper... basically the same generic review I've gotten for the past 4 years... "MiaMichelle is a self starter, highly motivated, blah blah blah."  When it came to areas of improvement, he said it would be great if I understood the chemistry better, but he understood that the company doesn't provide training or opportunity to learn the chemistry.  OK fine, but in my personal opinion I know the chemistry quite well for sales.  I've rarely run into a problem not knowing the chemistry.  Whatever.  Then he went on to say that they really want me back full time, and he wanted to know what my plan was for coming back full time.

Back when I found out I was pregnant, I knew I was not going to be able to pull 40 hour work weeks.  I have a commute to work - 30 minutes in the morning, and 1-1.5 hours in the afternoons.  There was no way I could be a mom, and work 40 hours, and spend so much time in the car.  So I negotiated with work, and they agreed to allow me to come into work Mon-Thurs, and I could take Friday off.  I offered to work Friday from home, but they thought that would set a bad precedent for the rest of the employees.  So now I get to work by 7:30 am Mon-Thurs, and am out of there by 3-3:30.  If there are any things that need to get done on Friday, I do them.  But they do not pay me for Fridays.  So I make less money than I used to.  It's OK with me.  They said I could have this arrangement as long as I wanted to, and as long as it wasn't a problem for the company in terms of work not getting done.  Well I get all my work done, no problem.  There has never been a problem with me not being there on Friday... I'm always accessible by phone and email and check both constantly.

So this really pissed me off.  Add to that, he handed me a sheet with these categories where I am rated 1-5, 5 being the best.  Well he had 4 marked straight down the sheet.  4 means "meets expectations", whereas 5 means "exceeds expectations."  I'm not one to toot my own horn, but I know I do a damn good job.  My boss makes commision off projects that I bring in!  I took over responsibilities from someone else in our department and got NO traning on it, and have done a great job.  There have been no problems with the projects that I manage.  I travel on a moments notice, lugging my breast pump along, getting stuck in airports.  I am as available to my company as I can be while being the best mom I can be, and that's just "meeting expectations"?

I have to write him a letter about all of this.  I'm not going to do it in an attacking way, but this is just not right.  If he thinks I'm just "meeting expectations", I'd like to know what he thinks I need to do to "exceed expectations."  I'd like to know where he thinks I could be doing a better job.  Like really.

And as far as going back to work on Fridays, it ain't going to happen.  I really value my Fridays with Maya and I won't give them up.  And in reality it's a great deal for them.  They get 100% of my effort for 80% of the pay.

Sigh... thanks for letting me get that out.

Re: Ugh. Had my review at work today

  • Oh, darn!  I'm sorry your effort got belittled like that.  Your boss is a jerk.  End of story.

    I would want to write a letter too.  Maybe write it and then sit on it a day.  Sometimes it's better to let the emotion cool down first. 

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  • aah, that sucks...

    If it makes you feel any better - there was this big press for our reviews to be graded 'harder' and it used to be that I would "exceed expectations" or even "Far Exceed Expectations" however then this big thing came out that basically said to managers - if your employee is exceeding expectations then the expectations/goals are not high enough and the bar should be raised...

    So... now "Meets Expectations" is the new "exceeds expectations" and it totally sucks donkeybutt.

    I am jealous of your fridays off!  That sounds so nice!

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  • Ugh, I'm sorry.  :(  Do they not give you a time during the review to say or write any comments that you have regarding any of it?  I know that I just had mine and most of it is computer based.  Both the manager and I are required to sign with our electronic signatures, but before I sign there is a page with a blank text box to type whatever I want. 

    That is horrible that they are now calling into question the arrangement that you made with them long ago that had no stipulations for length of time that you could do it.  That just isn't right.

  • Ugh, I hate this kind of crap! I got a bad review a few years ago because my attendance was questionable. Yeah, it was that year. I HAD TWO FREAKING MISCARRIAGES AND TOOK FMLA AND ONLY 1 WEEK OFF BOTH TIMES WITHOUT PAY! Everything else was PTO time off! I couldn't believe it, but since I was getting a pretty good raise along with it AND moving out from under that idiot boss, I didn't complain. I hatehatehate this. This same dumb boss told me they passed me up for a promotion because I got there at 8 every morning and left at 4:30 while the woman that got the job was there until 7 every night. Yeah, and she was the slowest person I've ever met. I did twice as much as she did everyday. This is boiling my blood... sorry to hijack your post and vent myself, but honestly. I'm so mad for you right now.
  • I am so sorry your boss is a douche. Seriously you should ask what needs to be done in order to exceed and see what he says. Because he is this close to crossing that discrimination line. Even if he doesnt intend it that way, you are in CA. His intentions dont mean shiiit, its all about interpretation.
  • Men have NO idea how hard it is to be a working Mother. ?I'm getting some rolling of the eyes when I say I need to leave at night (at 6:45pm btw) it's ridiculous. ?

    Hang in there. ?Entertain other offers - see what they'll give you. I did. It was good, really good. I chose to stay but those other offers are still open to me if I want to leave. ??

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  • ugh. sorry your boss is a bit of a prick. :(
  • Sorry you are in that situation.  Sounds like you are working your a$s off.  I think you have a good idea about writing to him and asking what you can do to gets 5s (although it sounds like you are already doing it).  Good luck!
  • imagecloud9climber:

    Men have NO idea how hard it is to be a working Mother.  

    Ditto! I am sorry your boss does not appreciate all you do.  It sounds like you are doing an awesome job.  I hope you are able to get your frustrations out to him and he learns to value you more.

  • mr+msmr+ms member
    pfffft. How about this... does your compensation, work environment, etc exceed expectations? A work relationship goes both ways. Maybe they need to pay you more, be more flexible or whatever before you jump through more hoops. Sorry, I am mad on your behalf! Why in the heck would an employee want to exceed expectations anyway?! That means the employer is getting something they're not paying for and that's not right. Exceeding expectations is for family, friends and charity.?
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