Alabama Babies
uagirl
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I thought I was doing okay
uagirl
member
I thought I was dealing with the m/c pretty well. A friend just announced on Facebook she is pregnant with twins. She wrote a whole post about how they weren't trying, weren't planning on kids for a few years, etc.
I burst into tears after reading her post. I am truly happy for her. I just know that I should be pregnant now too. (pity party over)
m/c 05/2009
DD born 8/9/10
TTC #2 since 8/2012
CP 12/2012
dx MFI 10/2013
Surprise BFP 11/6/2013 EDD 7/19/2014
Beta #1 15 dpo HCG 355 Prog 30.9
Beta #2 22 dpo HCG 8147 Prog 18.8
Beta #3 29 dpo HCG 44580 Prog 29.8
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Re: I thought I was doing okay
I am so so sorry. (((HUGS))) The year after my first m/c and the first few months after my second were by far the absolute worst of my entire life. I still cringe when people announce their pregnancies, even though we are matched for an adoption in the fall. I just can't help it.
I am happy that I can get to the point where I can be genuinely happy for someone who is pregnant, because there was definitely a time not so long ago that I couldn't, but I don't know if I'll ever truly be able to instantly be 100% excited for someone who is able to achieve so easily what I struggled for and was never able to achieve.
The point of this ramble, is that I understand, and I wish I could make it better for you. Make sure you're getting the help and support you need, and realize it's okay to skip out on baby showers and remove yourself from situations that make you hurt. You are your #1 priority right now.
I'm so sorry. I have BEEN THERE - believe me. I think I told you this but I had 5 friends/peers get pg before I even had a chance to get my cycles back. I remember the 'last' friend calling me and telling me to "not drink the water - or rather, I should" and she had had her IUD removed and got pg in the 2 weeks of getting it removed and getting her BCP Rx. I was at work and I completely lost it. I was sooo upset. WHen I found out a guy at work's wife was pg, my initial reaction was anger. I was angry that they got pg and I had lost mine... how stupid is that? My friend at work thought I was some sort of callous b-tch because of my reaction but someone who hasn't been through it can never, and will never understand.
Your time will come - it's so hard to wait though, I know it. Soon you will have a beautiful baby in hand and, I won't say you will forget your m/c but you'll have a different perspective about it... or at least I did/do. I know that if I hadn't lost the first pg, then I wouldn't have Avery now. And its hard imagining that I could love a baby more than I love her.
HUGE HUGE HUGE hugs girl.
I am so sorry! I can totally empathize with you. I went through years of trying and then finally did fertility treatments, which unfortunately the first cycle ended up being ectopic, so I had to take a break, have surgery and then finally got pregnant. It was really hard to see people luck out and not have any problems whatsoever. But like Sarah said, if I had stayed pregnant that one time...or hadn't had the issues I did, I wouldn't have the beautiful little girl that I have today.
We're always here for you sweetie!
I'm so sorry! Yo're entitled your feelings no matter what. Don't feel guilty. It's okay. *hugs* I can't even imagine.
I hope this will be your cycle!!
TTC #2 since 4/09
Unexplained Secondary IF
*****************************
4 failed rounds of clomid ~ 4 failed IUIs ~ 1 m/c
2/3/11: IUI #5 - Femara/Follistim/Ovidrel/Crinone = BFP (2/14)!!!
Beta #1 (12dpiui): 53 Beta #2 (14dpiui): 203 Beta #3 (20dpiui): 3932 Beta #4 (28dpiui): 60,775
1st U/S (3/3): 2 sacs & yolks 2nd U/S (3/8) 2 heartbeats-TWINS!
Baby A:6w6d HR 131 Baby B:6w4d HR 124
TWINS!! EDD 10/25/2011