MIL/ shower/anniversary VENT

jrnewhook · June 2009

Saw MIL the weekend and she's totaly rubbing my belly every time I stand up and she's near me. So I'm standing there at one point and she reaches over and grabs a hold of my shirt and pulls up my shirt to expose my belly! WTF! I stepped back, pulled down my shirt and was like, NO you do NOT need to see my stomach and don't lift up my shirt again! She just chuckles at me. I want to btich slap her. Telling DH he just scoffs and apologizes for her, but really what's he supposed to say to her?

She also informs me the weekend that the date for my shower has to be changed because she booked her vacation for that period. I'm traveling 7 hours to have my shower back home. That weekend also happens to be our first wedding anniversary and we were going to drive out to our favorite beach place along the coast to stay for two nights and then drive back to the city the day after our anniversary. We really can't afford to travel out that way two weekends in a row and now if I change my shower date I'm left with no anniversary plans. I can't have my shower any later cause I'll be 32w and my OB doesn't want me traveling. Any earlier (to work with MILs vacation) and I'd have to have the shower a month from now and invitations haven't even been sent out yet.

How big of a btich would I be if I didn't ask my friend who's throwing the shower to change the date?

Tinkx123x · June 2009

don't change it.

CandyMatte · June 2009

don't ask me...i'm devious (hint hint...wouldn't change the date...)

star21gazer · June 2009

I'm sorry but I wouldn't change my shower date...she can suck it up. That was pretty ballsy for her to ask you to do that.

Heather1979 · June 2009

You are setting a really BAD precedent if you change the date. It will only lead to more crap from her in the future. Stick to your guns on this one.

sestock17 · June 2009

Tell her the date has been set and your friend who is throwing it cannot change it. I am traveling 2 days for my shower and would not change my plans b/c one person cannot make it. What if somebody else cannot make it the following week? You can't plan events like this around one person's schedule (except yours of course).

CDCbaby · June 2009

Well, I totally agree that you should not change your shower date b/c if the shower date was already set and THEN your MIL made her vacation plans then she knew what your shower plans were. But I also think you should be upfront about it and just tell her what you said here and just be firm that you need to keep the original shower date.

cinderellabella · June 2009

No way, it's your baby shower. It's too bad she scheduled her vacation, but she knew your shower was planned for that time. Don't bend over backwards for her when she's not even being considerate.

This is your last anniversary without having a baby, so you need to enjoy it and go with the plans in place! If need be, have DH call his mom to explain it and sort it out.

At1stsight · June 2009

Do NOT change your shower date. Tell MIL that the plans have already been made both for you and DH and for your hostess, sorry to hear she can't make it. Period. Make sure DH knows about this ahead of time so he can back you up and don't take any sh!t from her.

redprincess · June 2009

She's a JERK! I wouldn't change it either!

MrsGibson07 · June 2009

Did your MIL know the date you were choosing before she booked her vacation? I would keep that date. It has a special meaning for you and DH... plus you get to celebrate your anniversary and baby shower in one weekend. You wouldnt be a biitch at all IMHO. Its YOUR shower!

MyLittleTyke · June 2009

I agree - don't change it. It's her fault....

btrflymeg · June 2009

Since when is it a rule that you have to have your shower planned around your MILs vacation plans??

Don't change it.

afilesi · June 2009

I would tell her the same thing I told my own mother (who is throwing a shower for us back in my home state 8 hours away from where I live). She "set" the date for August 30th, without consulting me. I have 3 friends flying into visit me that weekend and these plans have been made and tickets have been purchased. My mom pitched a fit and said that "so and so" is going to be on vacation the weekend before and I can't travel that far any later in my pregnancy...so we have to do it that weekend. I told her that there would be no point in having a shower without me, but a shower can survive without any other person.

Maybe I'm a b!tch...but my shower is now the 22nd of August.

excited4babies · June 2009

i wouldn't change the date! she knew what weekend you were having the shower. If she really wanted to be there she wouldn't have scheduled a vacation for the same weekend.

Phoebe Halliwell · June 2009

Don't change it. Just tell your MIL that the date for the shower is firm and you're sorry she'll have to miss it. (even if you're not Wink )

And yeah, lifting up your shirt to expose your pregnant belly crossed the line. WTF?

RaeAnt · June 2009

Obviously the MIL knew the shower date prior to making her vacation plans or she wouldn't have been asking you to change them. To me, that shows where her priority lies. I would stick with your original date and if she b!tches, simple say that she knew the date prior to making her plans and your sorry she won't be able to attend. After all, the shower isn't for her, it's for you. Whether she comes is up to her.

ablou · June 2009

You're the mommy!!! Keep the date exactly where it is, and throatpunch that cow the next time she manhandles you... or start goosing her and exposing her body.

amoureux · June 2009

Don't change it.

Give a heads up to the friend who is hosting that MIL was pushing for a date change in case MIL decides to contact the hostess directly.

ahappygilmore · June 2009

Heather1979:
You are setting a really BAD precedent if you change the date. It will only lead to more crap from her in the future. Stick to your guns on this one.

This. Exaclty this. DO NOT change the date!

jennybeams · June 2009

I would not change it. How long has she known what the date of the shower is? Did she have the vaca booked before or is it a recent development? Either way I wouldn't move it. BUT, if she did have the vaca booked before the shower was planned, someone was not on top of their planning game as far as getting the key people on board first and foremost.

lspinman · June 2009

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!!!

Dont change it!

urbanbaby09 · June 2009

Your shower date is also part of your planned vacation, and since you are the one having the baby, you win.

Liss_37 · June 2009

I wouldn't change the shower date. It was already set and she knew what it was before she made her "vacation plans". Too bad for her, why should you be the one inconvenienced for her insensitivity? you're the one that it's all about right now, not her.

SUNKISSD3 · June 2009

Dont change the date at all.. this is your shower and it was planned specifically so... if shes not the one hosting it thats her fault as well and if she knew ahead of time then she needed to plan her vacation at a later or earlier date then your shower...

I wouldnt be changing for her sake... at all

pmarie33 · June 2009

If you change that date, then she will run your life. Don't do it.

madalynnsmommy09 · June 2009

I wouldn't change the date! It's your shower!

Sweets2005 · June 2009

I wouldn't move it. It's too soon. Just apologize and say that your friend needs more time than to plan the shower. It's true! You can't change the date to better suit *one* person.

SweetNatty · June 2009

Don't change the date. This is probably the last time for a while where you can make it all about you and you do whatever is going to make you happier in the end.

Also, next time if MIL touches your belly, rub hers afterwards.

soccermom-to-be · June 2009

I agree with the PP who said that you are setting a bad precedent. If she knew the date and scheduled her vacation anyway, tough tooties. Besides, if she's not there think of how much nicer your party will be :-)

ladyalmalthea · June 2009

She knew the date and still booked a vacation. She picked a priority, don't change the shower.

kellers1984 · June 2009

Leave the date!! MIL's are a pain.

shunt1983 · June 2009

dont change it the shower is for you and next time she tries to touch you ask nicely not too tell her it makes you uncomfortable. ?and continue to do that until she stops.

Sheila.Scully · June 2009

She lifted your shirt and you didn't hit her? Why not? I would have and claimed a muscle spasim that gets triggered when touched. I saw a shirt the other day and would send it to you if I could to wear around her. It said "Touch the belly, Lose a Hand!" I think you need that to wear around her.

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