I would love to hear about why you chose to or not to find out the sex of your little ones.
I have ALWAYS said I would do it, but now that we are pregnant - DH is about 99.9% sure he doesn't want to find out and I think I'm actually ok with it - which is SHOCKING! I am leaving up to him to tell me the final decision. I mean there's not a whole lot that he has control of over the next 9 months, so I figured this would be a good one for him.
So why did or didn't you find out?
Re: To find out or not to find out - that is the question :)
Abigail Taylor 09.18.2008
Ditto this word for word - except for the girlie stuff. :-)
Like you, my DH was really adamant about not finding out. He practically begged me "This is the ONLY thing I have control over for the whole pregnancy, PUHHHLEEASE don't find out". So, while I always thought I would find out, we didn't. I swear it was the BEST decision we've ever made. I absolutley LOVED not knowing the sex. Yes, it is a little harder to decorate, but there are plenty of adorable and beautiful gender neutral bedding options out there. I feel it kept me and others more interested in our pregnancy. You didn't just already know the sex, the name and just waited til the baby was born. People were actually waiting and excited and having bets and stuff. It was also kinda fun to annoy people/family/friends about not finding out. I find it humourous how many people got MAD that we weren't finding out...like my SIL for instance. It also helped me not to buy too much clothing. Since i didn't really love yellow or green clothing, it really curbed my pre-baby spending and you get SOOO Much early baby clothes anyways, it was never a problem having enough stuff. It was hard figuring out and deciding names, since you have to figure out both sexes, but it was fun too...to explore the ideas that you have for both sides, who knows you may use the other name another time ;-) I never felt less connected to my babies at all. I called my daughter HE all the time and swore she was a boy...she didn't mind one bit :-)
It was so much fun, we didn't find out for #2 either.
We did not find out and honestly it was amazing! I have tons of friends that did and loved being able to prepare every last detail but, to us really the surprise was worth the wait. It was so fun not knowing and the moment in the delivery room we found out together was an amazing one. With the next DH thinks he may want to know since it will most likely be our last but, we will see. I loved not knowing.
What they say about being hard to shop for and getting a ton of yellow and green. I have to say not really! We had a diaper shower and honestly I think because everyone was so excited to know what "he " was after he was born we got a ton of boy clothes and boy things later. I can't wait to see what you decide. Either way it's so fun. GL
How many truly large total surprises do you get in your life? This is why we opted not to find out.
And instead of the doctor saying what DD was, DH got to announce it to me.
We did not find out, and we are the biggest planners ever. Here are our reasons:
1) We thought it'd be fun
And here are the awesome benefits of not finding out:
2) It is much less expensive, b/c neutral stuff is not as fun to buy and you can use it again for future kids regardless of their sex
3) People buy you more necessary goods vs. all clothes at your shower, and you aren't inundated w/ blue or pink.
4) We received very positive comments from people when we told them we didn't know, especially old (like grandma age) women
5) We drove our mom's crazy.
Joseph Henry was born at home on March 9, 2009
Nora Mae was born at home on October 30, 2011
We didn't find out for either of our children. I loved the excitement of not knowing until the doctor announced it after I gave birth.
I am the most impatient person in the whole world. I HAD to know. DH could go either way but knew how impatient I am so we found out. I also liked the idea of planning and having the nursery completed before the baby came. I wanted it to be gender specific.
I didn't want to find out initially, but DH did. (He hates surprises; I'm the complete opposite!) I was a tiny bit afraid we'd see we were having a boy and that I'd be disappointed and have to figure out how to turn my attitude around (DH is the 4th straight generation of all men in his family, so we figured the odds were pretty good we'd have a boy), but thought if I waited to find out when the baby was born, I'd fall instantly in love with my theoretical son and not care. But....when we got the big U/S we had the technician write down the sex in a cute card for us, so we could take it home and wait until we were both on the same page.
That lasted about an hour. HA!
I'm glad we found out, but still think it would have been really neat to wait the rest of the pregnancy and speculate some more. We did manage not to tell anybody (including our families!) until right at the end, and we thought up some really fun ways to share our news that we were having a girl, so it was worth it that way, too.
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We didn't find out and it was great! DH really wanted to know, but I didn't and he respected that decision. I even gave him the option of finding out and not telling me, but he decided to wait right along with me.
The biggest reason for me for not finding out was that it was the one thing that could truly be a surprise until the very end. I knew I was going to see the baby every month on a U/S b/c I was high risk. I also knew that I was having a c-section so the birth date was going to be scheduled (although we did end up w/ quite the surprise birth date when my water broke!).
Anyone that knows me very well, will tell you that they were shocked when I decided not to find out. I am a total control freak with everything else in my life. I can honestly say that the experience of not knowing has actually tamed some of that freakiness in me!We didn't find out and it has been a lot of fun torturing everyone! ?We got lots of practical stuff at our showers instead of a million clothes, and my excitement over finding out soon has made me less miserable at this point in my pregnancy (I think anyway). ?As far as the nursery, we painted it (light aqua) and put the furniture in it, but I am waiting to decorate until we know. ?I have bedding and accessories bookmarked for a boy and a girl. ?Baby won't be in there right away anyway, so I didn't feel rushed to have it "done" by the time I give birth.
Good luck!?
My thoughts exactly. We didn't find out with either child.
I was surprised. ? At 21 weeks. ?Its a surprise either way. ?That said, I think I am going to try to wait next time to have both experiences.
I did not want to know but my DH is terrible with surprises and had to know. ? He also can't keep a secret, so if he knew, I would eventually know. ? ? So we decided just to find out and not tell our families. ? ?That didn't work either. ? About 5 weeks later, everyone knew. ? ? We managed to keep her name a relative secret. ? We told very few people.
I bought a "Congrats on your baby" card and had the tech write "Its a boy or girl or I couldn't see anything" inside the card. ? ?I was trying to hint to her just to write, "I couldn't see anything". ?But she didn't pick up on it. ?
We went to dinner that night and opened it up at dinner and I cried. ? It was a very special moment. ?I framed the picture and kept the card. ? ?