day of delivery in room?

HSartteach · June 2009

After you gave birth, who did you allow to come and visit? Did you just keep it to you and hubby and ask family members to wait until the next day? Did you allow them to come that night?

I am asking because I want no one to come and visit, but my in-laws want to come and see the baby. We are inducing, so they know the baby (barring any unforseen circumstances) will be here on Wednesday.

Just want opinions.

MrsBeckO · June 2009

We plan on asking family to give us an hour or so to just the 3 of us following her birth, so we can bond a little and attempt to nurse before the circus of people come in.?

I can't imagine asking any of our family to wait til the next day to visit, but we are very close to both our families and almost everyone lives very close to us.. so I know they will all be excited to come see the new babe.

As for other visitors/friends -- depending on how I feel after delivering and what time of day it is, we may ask them to wait til the following day or even when we get home. We'll just play that by ear.

If you really want to hold off on any visitors the first day, you have every right to do so! This is your delivery, you do what you and your DH think would be best for your new family.. no guilt or worry about anyone else. ?

Kim777 · June 2009

We had lots of family and friends come by when we were in the hospital, both the day of and the following day. I was fine with everyone coming by because we were excited to show him off and I knew they were all really excited to see him! You definitely need to do whatever you are comfortable with, though.

m_and_m · June 2009

I think a lot will depend on what time you deliver. H was born at 11:10pm, so it wouldn't have been an issue to ask ppl to wait until the next day (the ppl who would have visited were already with us at the birth center though). If you deliver early in the day you may feel up to having ppl come sooner, or you may not. If you are unsure, I would request that people wait a day, then if you change your mind you can call and let them know you are up for visitors sooner.

BeckO- I would make it a little longer than an hour. It can take awhile to deliver the placenta sometimes, and if you need to be stitched up or anything it could be awkward to have someone open the door in the middle of that.

amycory2008 · June 2009

My family is super close and all local, so they all came in the room ( a few at a time) right after E was born. ?My mom was with us during the entire birth. ?I didn't care at the time, but thinking back, I think I would have liked a little time right after with just DH, E and I. ?Maybe you could just allow grandparents that night?

I agree with Becko, do whatever feels right to you and your DH and don't worry about pleasing anyone else. ?They'll all forget about it and forgive you once they see your precious little one anyway.?

MrsBeckO · June 2009

m_and_m:
BeckO- I would make it a little longer than an hour. It can take awhile to deliver the placenta sometimes, and if you need to be stitched up or anything it could be awkward to have someone open the door in the middle of that.

Noted! Thank you. ?

libbyann · June 2009

I am super close to my family, so I couldn't have imagined asking them to wait until the next day. I had an emergency c/s and my parents left dinner in the middle so they could be there when he was born. My best friend drove down from Belton too (we're like sisters) when DH called her and told her about the c/s. When I came back into my room after the c/s, my parents and BF were in there and I loved having them there. My brother drove down from College Station that night and arrived a little before midnight.

I honestly wouldn't have had it any other way I had no issues asking my dad to leave for me to nurse him. The next day my ILs drove up and I asked them to leave so I could feed him too.

Mrs.Purdue · June 2009

no personal experience here, but i recommend you telling people ahead of time what to expect. My BFF (we're more like sisters, since we're both only children) had told me that she wanted me in the waiting room during delivery. I got excited when she went into labor, and then she told me to stay home and to come the next day. I was disappointed, but excited to see him soon. Then she said wait another day. Then I was supposed to meet him on their first day home. And then it was the next day when I finally got to see him. I know she probably didn't know what to expect and I know she didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but it was more the build up and let down. So just be honest. If you think you're not going to want visitors until the next day, then say that. If you think you want to wait until you get home, say that too. It's better to play it safe and then ask them to come earlier than they planned than the other way around.

brideonjuly8 · June 2009

Both set of parents and siblings were there that day to see us. We had some time with the 3 of us right after, but they were in the waitng room and saw him soon after.

AmethystBride · June 2009

We asked that everyone come and visit the next day, but DS was born in the evening, and by the time we were in our room, it was late and we were exhausted. We did, however, let two of our very good friends visit that very evening, just for a few minutes, though. They understood.

:-)

amyliisa · June 2009

I labored all day (was induced too, pitocin started at about 7:45am), and had family and friends visit from about noon or one, until 3 when I felt ready to push. We kicked everyone out, I pushed for an hour and he as born at 4:11 My dh went out and told them he was here but we needed a couple hours bwfore they could visit. My bff came back at about 6pm I guess which was perfect, she's a veteran mom of many, so she was awesome about helping & taking pics etc, while the nurse gave ds a bath etc. Before she got there we had enough time to get me stitched up and nurse him etc. At about 7 we were moved to our post partum room, and that's when we received visitors. We had my family and 2 other sets of our friends visit that night. I loved it but I agree with pp's - do what you're comfortable with and don't feel guilty about it. My ILs wanted to stay at our house to help out for a week or 2 rigt when we came home from the hospital, but I knew I just wanted it to be the 3 of us and had to tell them that. They were very understanding and while they did come to visit for 1 day, they respected our wishes and didn't come for an extended stay until several weeks later.

mcgee · June 2009

All of our family is OOT, so with Meredith, we told them that no one was allowed to come to the hospital. We needed that time to bond as a family. We did allow some of our local friends to come by the hospital, but we didn't tell relatives that. My parents were at MD Anderson for my dad's cancer treatment the day I was induced, so they couldn't have come anyway (Meredith was born in North Carolina), but I really did not want my ILs there.

We just told them point blank: "We need this time in the hospital to welcome our baby and have some time to adjust to being parents before we have visitors. You are welcome to visit on X day when we get home."

We did allow ILs to visit when Meredith was about five days old, but I'd only been home for about two days, I was having trouble getting BFing started, and I was exhausted. It was massively stressful having ILs there because they had zero respect for us as new parents. MIL grabbed DD out of my arms without asking or even washing her hands first. We needed to go to BRU for some stuff, and ILs wandered off with DD in her travel system when our back was turned - we had to scour the store to find them. And ILs, who had not visited our home or town before DD's birth, expected us to take them sightseeing just days after I gave birth. It was ridiculous. I still resent that I wasn't more forceful with them then because I can't get that time back.

Sorry for the novel, but the bottom line is that YOU are in charge. If you don't want people at the hospital, then that is YOUR call. Do not be afraid to tell the nurses that you don't want any visitors either. They will play the heavy for you and turn people away if you need help. This is your time with your new baby, and if your relatives can't handle that, then that is their problem.

Taytee · June 2009

Everyone knew we would not be calling until the baby was HERE. Then we'd say, based on the time, when we'd be ready for company. I didn't want an audience of people floating in and out of my room or hanging around the hospital waiting for me to deliver. I delivered in the AM, family that afternoon. Worked out nicely. Enough time for me to catch a bite to eat, a little nap and wash my face.

HSartteach · June 2009

I appreciate all the opinions. I still feel bad asking the in-laws to wait. they live in Palestine--3 hrs away. I know they are excited to see the baby, and I know they understand that I will be tired, but I'm just not sure still.

I am going in at 7 to be induced and I don't know how long labor may take...it could take a few hours, it could take much longer. I have told my sister (who lives down the street from me) to wait until Thursday. She seemed fine with it, and that's my sister. It's also hard because my mom won't be here to see the baby--not even sure when she will be able to come down (she lives in CT and is in the middle of recovering from a hip replacement surgery) and I guess I'm being selfish about it.

I suppose I could have them come after a few hours. Maybe husband can call once baby is here and they could then leave for A-town and by the time they get here, we will have had some alone time.

Thanks again for the opinions.

MrsBeckO · June 2009

HSartteach:
I suppose I could have them come after a few hours.? Maybe husband can call once baby is here and they could then leave for A-town and by? the time they get here, we will have had some alone time.

I think thats a great idea - to call when baby arrives (or shortly after) to give yourself 3 hrs before they make it to town.

Do they know what time you're being induced though? And do you know whether or not they are planning on driving in that early in the morning?

Good luck to you - with the visitors and most importantly with your induction!!!?

HSartteach · June 2009

They know that I am going in at 7am. Hubby has told them not to come down, so they shouldn't be leaving in the morning to be here. I guess I'll see tomorrow what happens.

Thanks for the wishes on the induction...I hope it goes smoothly and quickly.

Nessia · June 2009

Just remember this is about you, your husband and hte new baby. If you want everyone to wait your entitled to that and your in-laws will just have to wait. They'll get over it. Maybe ask the nurses to be the bad guys. I delivered at NAMC and they told me flat out that they would be the bad guys. NAMC doesn't have restrictions on visiting hours but they told me I could make my own and the nurses would enforce it for me so that I wouldn't look like the bad guys.

bobcatsteph · June 2009

My water broke at work and I called my family and told them..they almost beat us to the hospital! I called them because we didn't even have a bag packed yet so I had to give them a list over the phone and have them pack it and bring it to us, along with the car seat.

My family hung out with us while I was in labor. I kicked them out when I got the epi then kicked them out when it was time to push. They stood outside the door the whole time I was pushing (over 3 hours) then came back in as soon as they were allowed to.It was 2am by this point. They took pictures then left for the night.

My family and DH's family came back around noon the next day (well technically it was that same day). I enjoyed having everyone there.

Do what you want and don't let them influence you into letting them come visit if you want alone time with DH and the baby.

MrsMillerTime · June 2009

My parents & DH's parents were already at the hospital with us while I was in labor. They got kicked out for the actual delivery and hung out in the waiting room. After A was born, my mom "couldn't wait" so she went ahead and came in while they had her on the warming table cleaning her up. Apparently that was enough of an "all clear" for my in-laws because they followed her into the room. I was still leg-up having my placenta delivered. Tongue Tied

At the time, I honestly couldn't have cared less....they were so focused on the baby that I could have had an alien coming out of my woo-hoo and no one would have even noticed. In hind sight, I wish my mom could have been a little more patient. We did ask everyone to leave for a few minutes once she was cleaned up so DH, A & I could have some time together (while I did the first BF), though.

Once they took her to the nursery, everyone followed her and went to take pictures, etc. Once they brought her to our room and we were finally reunited as a family, my parents & IL's left pretty soon afterwards (since we had labored all night). No one came back until after dinner time (maybe 6+ hours later).

I'll just say...I was glad my parents & IL's were able to share in the birth "experience" with us and I never felt like DH & I didn't get the time to bond with our daughter because other people were there. I think that's because we got plenty of alone time once we were in our PP room.

Whatever you decide....it's YOUR delivery experience. Just be honest & up-front with everyone. It might also be a good idea to tell your nursing staff of your wishes so they can "help" run interference as needed.

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