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Feeling panicked.

sommerraynesommerrayne
in Secondary IF
I know I have nothing to really fear because I was successful in getting pregnant and delivering a healthy child once before but I'm feeling an overwhelming sense of panic around trying to get pregnant again. Last time the fertility treatments took over our lives. I couldn't hold a job because no job would let me off enough to go in for all of the appointments I needed to be seen at. Our schedule was dictated by drugs, side effects, and scheduling. We were hostage to the process. Of course it was all worth it and I'm not complaining but my source of panic comes from - now I have a child to take care of and zero source for outside child care. We live in a state where we know very very few people and are tying to network and build bonds with people but how do you say to someone you've met mere months ago - "Could you watch my child so I can go in and get my transvaginal ultrasound for the 11th time this week?"

I felt so hopeful that my body would have been "tricked" into being normal because of pregnancy but now with all of the horrid PCOS symptoms rearing their head once again - I know that was a false hope (and somewhere, deep down, always knew it was).

My husband is on the mindset of "We should just try on our own since, after they figured out what was wrong, you got pregnant so fast" train of thought and I don't agree. I know this is an eternal struggle and its different for the woman who has to go through all of the feelings, side effects, drugs, etc.

I'm also fearing for the worst. I had a WONDERFUL pregnancy the first time around with the exception of two very scary heavy bleeding episodes, I wasn't sick, felt great, etc. What if the next time I'm miserable and have this toddler to take care of (who is not entertained by self-play).

I guess I just needed a place to vent, shout out into the abyss that is the internet, and just say my peace - at least to a group of women who might be able to understand where I'm coming from.
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Re: Feeling panicked.

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    NikkiD330NikkiD330

    I completely understand. Just to let you know that I bring my daughter with me to most appointments. I am a SAHM and do not have a babysitter and my husband can't take off everytime I have an appointment so I bring her along. Is it ideal? No not at all, but we make it work.

    Hang in there and try to take it one day at a time. That is what I am trying to do.

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    firsttogofirsttogo
    My DS came with me to many apts as well. Sometimes they were early enough in the morning to have DH sit with him in the car, but sometimes he just came in. We would wait in the back of the waiting room, or just try to keep him as occupied as possible. It has to be done, and women with one child sometimes need help to have babies too. You have just as much right to be there as others do! Try to take it one step at a time, and see how far you need to go!
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    sommerraynesommerrayne
    At my last RE, they DISALLOWED children from being in their building. I no longer live where I'd get treatment from them but that's likely where some of my anxiety is coming from.
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    firsttogofirsttogo
    I can see where a rule like that would come from, but I also think that it is over the top. They should request you wait in another area, or something.
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    eyenerdeyenerd

    I get panicked at times too. ?I am surprised your REs office doesn't allow children. ?I totally understand a reasoning, but i am surprised that they don't have another room for them to wait in. ?I would probably have anxiety over this too.

    I have recently gotten into the game again, and i was freaking out over the appts and the time i would have to take off of work. ?I mean freaking out. ?Very stressed. ?I have no ideal why it seemed worse than the first time, but i think this process is just so complicated and it is not something that you want to be totally open about with everyone.

    We don't have anyone to babysit either, but i guess we will just have to figure things out and go from there. ??

    I can't wait to shut the door on treatments.?

    ?

    ?

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