Need Help...ppd

Bennifer1027 · June 2009

I just got back from my post partum appointment and my feelings were confirmed by my midwife. I have slight post partum depression, not enough for treatment to be a must but borderline to recommend counseling. I didn't have this with Bella but I just feel different this time around.

I feel like all I am lately is someone who is constantly being needed by someone and I cannot physically, mentally or emotionally fulfill all the demends on me. I feel like a bad mom who can't enjoy her baby like I could with Bella, a bad mom to Bella who just wants my attention that she has always had and now has to share. A bad wife since my DH is hurt that I have no desire for anything physical and he won't let me forget about it. And now a bad employee since it is the last thing I want to be doing and I don't feel like I am doing a good job in my position.

I just want to enjoy this time in our family. I know we will never get this time back and I remember all the memories I made with Bella at this point and I can't seem to do that with SOphia. I feel like I am robbing her of this time. I want to have fun again and am sick of putting on a happy face when I am crying inside.

Has anyone else dealt with ppd? Any recommendations you can make on the day-to-day part?

Sorry for being a debbie downer, but I don't feel like I can "talk" to anyone in real life and DH thinks I am just crazy....

cherryblossom25 · June 2009

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. Are you open to taking medication? I don't have any personal experience with actual PPD, I had the baby blues really bad and that was awful, but I really feel for you. I hope this passes and you are feeling better very soon. Huge (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

Katlady84 · June 2009

*big hugs* I'm sorry that you are having a tough time. Talk to a professional. It can really help to talk to someone who isn't involved in your life at all and thus you don't worry about disappointing. I hope things get better soon!

ocean71506 · June 2009

I am sorry you are dealing with this. I did not have ppd, but suffered from severe anxiety and some depression after losing Ava. I still struggle with anxiety and I know how it feels to feel like life is passing by and you cannot enjoy it. I saw a therapist who helped me a lot. I would try that. In the meantime, take it day by day and see if you can get some mommy time. Have someone watch the los and do something for yourself. ((hugs))

lkstor · June 2009

i'm sorry you're having such a rough time

no personal experience with ppd, but i have had problems with depression in the past. tried both counseling and meds at that time and found both to be somewhat helpful. honestly one of the most helpful things for me was getting regular exercise and fresh air (i know this is easier said than done when you are feeling lousy - especially for a mommy who will probably feel guilty for taking "me" time).

i also wish your hubby was more empathetic!

big HUGS to you!

NoVaIrish · June 2009

I'm so sorry that you are having a rough time. I've felt that way myself (bad mom, bad wife, bad employee) and it wasn't a good place to be. I found for me that putting in place a pretty strict schedule/routine really made a difference. And I made sure to schedule in some me time as well.

Miracle Social Worker · June 2009

I had PPD, I and remember feeling the same way, like I couldn't enjoy anything, including my baby, and that I could not meet all their/demands needs. I choose to ask for medication, and it did help me. I am still taking Lexapro. If you do not want to take medication, it may be helpful to ask to speak with a counselor...private message me or email me at rhladik at ec.rr.com if you ever need to.

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