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Moms- Talk to me about taking time for yourself
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Does everyone do this? What kind of things do you do? How much time do you spend?
I keep hearing that I need to have some "me time" but I can't say that I want to. I work quite a bit, so when I am home, I want to spend as much time with my kids and DH as possible. When I think of setting aside time for me, it just sounds like another thing taking me away from home. That being said, I don't want to burn myself out. I don't want to look back at these years and have it me a blur of going in too many different directions, but I also don't want to look back and regret not spending more time with my kids. I know this probably doesn't make much sense, but if anyone has been through the same things, I would love to hear how you handled it.
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Re: Moms- Talk to me about taking time for yourself
Most of my "me" time comes after DD goes to bed. I am like you and try to limit my time away from her since I already work during the day. I've started taking piano lessons for example. My lesson is during the day for 30 mins while DD is at school and I practice at night. I also do some volunteer work and have arranged it so that when I've needed to attend meetings, etc, we can work it around DDs bedtime. So - I'll have an 8pm meeting, so I only miss the last little bit before DD goes to bed.
I will do the occasional evening away - but even then, I am usually spending some time with DD before hand. And if I want to see a girlfriend, we either eat lunch together or meet up later and have dessert and coffee to catch up. I am doing a girls trip next month and will be gone F-Su. I will miss DD, but it's one weekend out of the entire year, so I don't think it's bad. And I do feel it's important to have activities that are your own and are refreshing to you. And there are lots of ways to do that and still spend time with your family.
I guess my first question is why do you think people keep saying that you need "me" time?.... My DH wants to spend as much time as possible with DS when he gets home, so I totally understand where you would want to spend as much time with your kiddoes as you can, but if people are telling you that you aren't doing enough for yourself, then maybe there is an imbalance. I don't know, if you are content, then really that is the most important thing. They are only little for such a short time!
To answer your question, my situation is different since I SAH, however taking me time is still hard for some reason. My "me" time is going to the gym (I put DS in the daycare) and try to do a few mom's night outs a few times a month. I also enjoy leaving DS with DH on Saturday mornings and going to the grocery, gym and sometimes getting a pedi. I would love to take a tennis class or something regular on the calendar for just me, though!
I too feel like I want to spend time with DH and DD when I'm not working, so it's hard. However, I'm forcing myself to do it, because I've been getting bummed about just sitting at home and doing laundry, etc. DD goes to bed at 7pm (her timing, not mine), so I usually do things that are after that or just right before bedtime, like wine nights with friends.
However, I took a half day last Friday and got my hair done and got a pedicure, then I picked DD up from school. It was nice to do that by myself without worry.
But I agree with maribel, whatever makes you content is what you should do. If you're happy, then you're happy, and just because someone else says you 'need' the time doesn't mean you do. However, you shouldn't feel guilty if you do need it.
I usually hit up Target on my lunch break. That's my me time and I love it. I just roam the isles and check out all the new stuff.
I'm also considering maybe doing a yoga class on my lunch break maybe once every two weeks. We'll see.
Being a SAHM it is a little different. I spend a lot of time with the kids but i do feel like we do not spend enough time as a family sometimes and definitely do not spend enough time as a couple. But i know it is important for both DH and I to ave some "me" time as well.
Some things I do for me time. Book club, (i used to attend about once every 6 weeks, but have not gone in a while, hope to start back up soon), hot bath while reading a book after kids have gone to bed, go for pedi or haircut, go shopping without kids (does not happen enough
).
I stay at home. For me, "me time" is pretty limited because of DH's work schedule and because we don't have any family nearby who can watch DD and give us both a break. I take time some nights to have a nice soak in the bathtub, do my toenails, whatever, after DD has gone to bed. DH knows he's on Daddy detail if she wakes up during that time.
Or I'll let DH stay with DD while I run some errands. It's amazing how much more efficient you can be at the store without a little one along for the ride. And it's nice to turn on whatever music I want and sing at the top of my lungs when I'm in the car by myself.
DH has encouraged me to a take a yoga class or some other class just for me, but it's been hard to find something that fits into his work schedule so he can stay with DD.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09