How would you handle this request from BM?
taagent
member
Most of you know the past cell phone situation. I know many of you don't think SD having a cell phone is a good idea but it was done so SD and DH could talk whenever SD wanted to...although that isn't happening now.
After we put the restrictions and blocked numbers on SD's phone because everybody in the house was using it BM never said a word about it although she soon realized it couldn't be used as her extra phone anymore.
Yesterday DH gets a text from BM saying "Can you fix SD's phone so it can be used in case there is an emergency". Which translates into she wants the phone to be able to call her so that when the kids are home alone they can use SD's cell phone if they need her.
Here is my issue. I KNOW it wont just be used for emergencies. She will use it like it is a home phone for the kids while she is at work, whether SD is there or not. That is pretty much what happened before, she would call it on her way home from work, the kids would use it when they got home from school or from a friends house to call BM or her bf. It was being used multiple times in a day after DH SPECIFICALLY told her the other kids were not to use it. Whether SD's older brother will use it to call friends I don't know but I know SD wont use it unless there is an actual emergency since she knows the rules about its use.
I am trying to be sympathetic and understanding, that she doesn't want to have to pay the $30 a month for a home phone but after she and the rest of the people in that house used SD's phone, without SD's or our permission to make calls having nothing to do with SD I am finding it REALLY hard to be okay with this.
Re: How would you handle this request from BM?
This is exactly what I was thinking and what I told DH last night. That he can address WHY it was changed and also, if there is an "emergency" she can call me or DH and we can get in touch with BM.
This. If she needs a way for her kids to contact her, then it is her responsibility to get phone. She is just use to taking advantage of you.
No - if she cannot be responsible enough for a phone in case of emergencies... then your SD doesnt need to be there. And furthermore - if there were an emergency cell phones are programed that they can still call 911. Looks like BM is trying to get over on you guys once again...
Trust me... after 2 months of $600 bills because of my SD and her BM - I've learned my lesson... I hope it doesn't take you that much $$$$ to learn yours! Best of luck to you.
Thanks ladies, DH hasn't responded to her yet. I agree completely with you all. I don't think we should give in. If it were a situation where the phone wasn't abused in the past I would consider it but after all that I am not about to willingly let her abuse it.
I start to feel bad and then I get mad because of what has happened in the past and I get annoyed with myself for feeling bad about saying no!
Give SD an old phone with NO plan and do not set up a plan for it. When DH cancelled his old cell contract that had BM on it too, we were told by the judge and the cops that ANY Cell phone even one not hooked up to a network, can dial 911.
If its really for emergencies and you want to make sure that's ALL its used for, she doesn't need a plan or minutes-just an old phone that will hold a charge and has a charger.
SD has a phone that DH and I pay for (we have a family plan). After we found out that everyone in BM's house was using it we blocked ALL numbers except mine, DH's, and my MIL's - it can still call 911 however. She wants us to unblock the phone.
RSVP Date: 2/28/2011
1) You can't block 911 on a phone. You just can't do it. Hell, t mobile could cut off my phone service today and I could still call 911 on it. I could pick up a phone on the side of the road and if it charges, it will dial 911.
And if it's an emergency that doesn't require 911, they can call you. How about that?
Click me, click me!
I agree with this.
Also, I know we were able to put a lock on SD's cell phone so only people with the code can use it. We've told her to lock it whenever the phone leaves her possession (even if it's in the same room) and if the code doesn't work to call H immediately to change it. SD and H are the only two people who know the code. The code thing was the result of similar cell phone misuse.
Edited for clarity.
I think there might be some confusion. 911 isn't blocked, it can't be. Also, we DID block the numbers the phone wasn't supposed to be calling, including BM's.
Hind- I thought the same thing, 911 or us... heck DH or I would be a heck of a lot closer if something happened.