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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
iris427
member
I am getting fed up with BFing
iris427
member
I need a pep talk b/c right now I am so tired of it.
I am hungry ALL. THE. TIME. I try to eat filling, nutritious meals, but I am thinking of food constantly. It's like I can never get enough.
She wants to nurse so much--not because she's hungry but for fun. She is always rooting around in my cleavage and whining.
She still nurses a lot at night and I just want some part of the day where I feel like my body is mine.
Plus I had a really bad clogged duct two days ago and I'm still sore.
And how in the world am I ever going to wean her?
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Re: I am getting fed up with BFing
DD is the exact.same.way. I'm hungry too all the time and of course all that sounds good is junk food.
But think of how long you've stuck with it already, it won't be too hard to make it to you goal! That's what I've been reminding myself lately.?
This article from kellymom always helps me get through these low points:
?Are mothers supposed to love breastfeeding 24 hours a day?
by Glenda Dickerson, IBCLC. Reprinted with permission from the author.If there is a day or week where you no longer feel like you are loving or even enjoying breastfeeding, does it mean that this is the right time to stop?I have felt for years that many mothers wean because they thought they were supposed to love and/or enjoy breastfeeding 24 hours a day. Some of the mothers I have admired the most are mothers that breastfed in spite of not being in love with the act of breastfeeding. They breastfed because they knew it was the?right choice for their babies.Our culture has become so addicted to the concept that we are supposed to only do what makes us happy or brings us immediate joy, that we lose a lot of the good stuff along the way--pride in accomplishment, joy in fulfilling a commitment, feeling of achievement through meeting a goal. I don't think this means people are more selfish today than they were in the past, I just think they have been taught to have different expectations about what they are supposed to feel and how they should respond to those feelings.Breastfeeding is the ultimate gift a woman gives her baby--because she chooses everyday whether to continue or to stop. Don't look at breastfeeding as something you will enjoy or even like all the time, but as a commitment to your child's health--similar to the commitment of staying married even when you don't particularly like your husband for a few days, or staying in college when it is really rough for a while. There are peaks and valleys with breastfeeding and sometimes you will thoroughly enjoy it, and sometimes you will resent it--but in the end you will not regret one day that you stuck with it, even though you were not feeling that joy 100% of the time. When you are in a valley, rest assured that the joy you have felt with feeding in the past will reappear and you will be glad you waited it out.Breastfeeding -- it's too important not to.All I can say is, it's over really fast and some nights, I miss that closeness and that time.
How old is she? I wouldn't be ok with perpetual groping. That would drive me nuts and make me buy a steel tipped madonna bra.?
She's 9 months old right now so she is probably going through a growth spurt and getting ready to reach some pretty serious milestones. This means she wants you more which usually means wanting to nurse. Sucks sometimes but I know for us momma means milk.
But you can do this if you want to. Don't think about how you are going to wean her unless you really want to wean her. If you do that's okay...but I'm guessing you don't. Weaning will come in time and just because she wants to nurse all the time now doesn't mean that she will still be that way in a few months.
For food, how is your protein intake? Can you maybe add in a PB&J as a snack? Maybe make a batch of lactation cookies to keep on hand as a treat and when you sit down to nurse her you can have a few cookies and a glass of water or milk?
Good luck and you can do this...whatever this may be for you be it weaning or continued nursing.
keep it up mama! you are doing an awesome job and your little one just loves it.
i also have times where think i just can't do it anymore, but i am trying to remember how important this is to me in the long run. right now i am still nursing ds to sleep multiple times a night and having to unlatch him at least 5x each time before he will stay asleep. it's making the skin peel off and is crazy painful (sorry for the tmi). however it's totally balanced for me by when he will come crawling across the floor and start headbutting my chest when he wants to nurse
i am starving all day long. we had a cook out for my last day of school yesterday and i had to eat a complete meal twice. i actually love always getting to eat though. i think i will have to retrain my brain once we wean so i don't gain a million pounds.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I don't want to wean her yet. It's just been one of those tough weeks.
And yes, I would love some kind of baby-proof steel bra.
Carbs. Lots of 'em. Screw dieting or any semblance thereof.
You need time to yourself. Gotta find it, even if it's just 20 minutes here and there. A burned-out mommy isn't going to be much good to anybody, BFing or not, after a while.
You CAN set some limits on the "fun" nursing. Any thoughts on whether she's doing it in situations where she needs comforting? DD did this at night for a bit, but in retrospect I think it was a bit manipulative; she knew if she signed for it I'd give in b/c I thought she was hungry. She eats like a trucker during the day.
But that being said, if I think she's overwhelmed or afraid/anxious in a new or overstimulating situation, I'm fine with giving her a boob to help her self-regulate.
BREAST MASSAGE. Before and sometimes after nursing. To help with the duct. Motrin/Tylenol is also good, as well as a heating pad.
Weaning will happen. I know it sounds easy when I just *say* it like that, but I was nervous about it too, and it just sort of....evolved on its own. DD started tanking up more on solids in the daytime, we started becoming more firm on nighttime wakings (not CIO, but we can tell now when she needs us vs. when she just wants someone to look at her!), and she just plain got older. I'm down to morning and night now, and sometimes I think we could skip morning and be just fine. All depends a bit on the babe, though, too.
Not sure about your marital/partnered situation or whatever, but if there's a DH/SO on scene, can they take over for a while each night or morning, just to give you a break? Might also show your adorable DD that she can get her emotional/attachment needs met (if that's behind the "nursing for fun" part) from someone else and still be okay.
HTH; sorry if it was abrupt in places. I'm a single parent this week and my own darling daughter and I have had enough of each other this past 24 hours.
Hang in there!
How long do you want to continue? My initial goal was 6 months and I just passed the ten month mark and just quit a week and a half ago. I started weaning her because I work full time and was sooo tired of pumping. I was only nursing in the morning and evenings and when I quit it was not fun....needless to say Fri. is two weeks away from when I quit and they are still not empty.
I was sad at first but am feeling really good now and it's nice to almost have my body back.
I would just start a little at a time and I would not feed her unless it is a feeding time now that she is much older.
I also broke DD of the midnight feedings by just feeding less each night. One night I fed for 10 min, the next 8 min etc. until she didn't wake up to eat anymore. It seemed to work though.
We went through a rough patch around 9 months. But, as soon as we got though that, DS started STTN for REAL (solid 7pm-7am without a peep). If that inspires you at all.
I think he was just moving around more, started crawling, etc, and needed more to eat during that time.
Also, if you are hungry, you're burning the calories, so I'd just enjoy getting to snack while it lasts. I'm pregnant and everything too, but I have a slice of wheat bread + peanut butter two hours after breakfast, and again in the afternoon. Also a glass of chocolate milk every night before bed.
I also want to add that if you want to continue you can do it!!! I just know that for me, I all of a sudden knew it was right to stop and she has not wanted my boob since I stopped. However, she is not a big fan of the formula either yet... I think this is because she is on the move so much and does not want to stop to have a bottle.
She does think "Momma...food" though, she def. still has that label on me.
I'm also hitting a brick wall with nursing too. I am really looking forward to stopping, but of course when I'm nursing I always enjoy the closeness and the snuggling.
Can you maybe pick certain times of the day to nurse? So that she's not just snacking all day and doing it when she's bored? I think it's important to respect her need to want to be close to you, but you can start doing other things to maintain the bond you have with her (snuggling in bed, hugs and kisses, singing songs, etc. etc.) so she knows that nursing isn't the only way to get your attention. I'm not saying start to wean, but let her know that she can still be close to you without nursing.
GL!
I got fed up when DS was around 9 months. I was starting to get really antsy and uncomfortable whenever he nursed. He was also constantly yanking my shirt down, and slobbering all over my chest trying to root.
Instead of giving in every time he yanked at my shirt, I made sure he was really hungry. This has definitely cut down on the "recreational" nursing. I also stopped co-sleeping, since DS would nurse constantly when he slept with me. Now, I'm able to go to bed when I want to and actually snuggle with my DH, etc.
We still have our bad days, especially when DS is teething, but I'm happy I stuck with it.