3rd Trimester

Would this bother you?

As part of our move at work we need to order new letterhead, envelopes and business cards. Previously the executive assitant always did this but since they have me in Marketing the responsibility is now mine.

So, our rep from the company we work with called me yesterday to discuss the changes and kept calling me dear. I've never met him before and he sounded fairly young and it just really rubbed me the wrong way. He said the best way to learn the ordering process was to come over to the office and walk me through it (it's an online system).

He came into the office today (was 20 minutes late) and called me dear again twice. I'm sure it's probably harmless, but it is so unprofessional and a term of endearment that you should only use if you are sleeping with the person or REALLY close with them.

I almost said something, but bit my tongue.

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Re: Would this bother you?

  • Yes, it would bother me. 
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  • Yes, it would bother me.   BUT - his intentions were probably harmless.
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  • Ugh, I hate when people use "Dear" in a professional situation. I probably would have said something, I tend to have a hard time holding back lately.

    On a side note, I talked with a business type relationship last week and he kept saying..."Hey Girlfriend." Tongue Tied He was mid 40's married with children.

  • Yes, it would annoy me.
  • It would bother me and I probably would have told him that politely.

  • Yeah, it might annoy me depending on how he was saying it, but I'd be willing to bet that's just his personality and he does stuff like that with everyone.  it's just the way he speaks.  In that case, I don't think I'd spend the energy being upset over it.
  • Nope, wouldn't bother me.
  • Yes. I have clients that call me "dear" and "honey". Im just waiting for one to spank me on the butt one day. I work in a male dominated business and I feel like I get dismissed a lot. Not by my co-workers but other people in the industry who arent used to dealing with young women.
  • He's fairly young and he's using dear?  I think I've only ever been called that by the elderly or sarcastically by friends!  And dear, honey, sweetie and precious (and their friends) have no business in business.
  • It depends on the tone really. Hun however always bothers me!
  • I hate that!  And I hate when women call me sweetie!  But, I just think that's who they are and I never say anything to them.  I just take it and cringe.
  • I can see where it would bother some people, but it really wouldn't bother me. Maybe because in the south people say stuff like "hon" all the time.
  • you are in TX? term of endearment.  clients call me little nicknames all the time - sugar, sweet pea, etc.  it used to bother me, but now i don't even really notice.

    i do have the son of a big client that calls me baby and darlin' and i want to throatpunch him.  everyone has that one thing that is a pet peeve, i guess.

    of course, if it were a vendor, i probably would say something.

  • thats weird.
  • Hate it. As does "honey" or "sweetheart" - it seems so patronizing
  • imageBreezer80:
    Hate it. As does "honey" or "sweetheart" - it seems so patronizing

    Patronizing is the perfect way to describe it!

  • imagemrsekins:
    Yes, it would bother me.   BUT - his intentions were probably harmless.

    This.

  • There is a girl at the gas station that is obviously younger than me and DH yet everytime either of us is in there she calls us darlin' or sweety or things like that. It drives me crazy.
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  • I'm the chief of my department in a large medical system.  I am the youngest member of management-ever.  I cannot stand when people call me by nicknames, especially men. I have started responding by using over the top "terms of endearment" (like sweet pea, sugar lips, pumpkin butt, etc.) .  It usually stops them in mid sentence.
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  • mmm. it's a sales technique. I think you are taking it too personally- but that is only my opinion.
  • I can't stand it when a woman calls me dear.. much less a guy.  I think if it continues you should tell him he needs to stop, that it makes you uncomfortable.

  • imageroxyttandme:
    mmm. it's a sales technique. I think you are taking it too personally- but that is only my opinion.

    It's a crappy sales techinique. I was in sales for years and never called anyone by anything other than their name. I'm not taking it personally at all. I didn't say anything, but it does bother me and if I do work with him a lot moving forward and he continues to say it I will eventually politely let him know that I don't find it appropriate. Like I said, he probably had no mal-intentions, but it's still not right.... even if I am in the South.

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  • It would probably bother me if I didn't have a close guy friend who calls everyone he works with "sweetheart."  I've even heard him on the phone with a receptionist at another company and called her sweetheart too!  I know he doesn't mean anything by it- just his way of being friendly.  
  • Ever think he was just trying to be nice..?
  • imagemaryplu:
    It would probably bother me if I didn't have a close guy friend who calls everyone he works with "sweetheart."  I've even heard him on the phone with a receptionist at another company and called her sweetheart too!  I know he doesn't mean anything by it- just his way of being friendly.  

    Sweetheart is even worse!

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  • imagerrodgers803:
    Ever think he was just trying to be nice..?

    That's the thing though, it doesn't matter what his intentions are. If I were a guy Director of Marketing I highly doubt he would have called me dear. It's just not something I want to be called in a professional environment by anyone. I don't find it to be appropriate. I also don't think its such a huge deal that I would make him feel bad about it, but it still shouldn't be said.

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