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3rd Trimester
Family in waiting room (vent)
Anyone else have family or friends who insist on being called once you go into labor so they can wait around at the hospital? It's been bothering me quite a bit lately that some family members absolutely insist on waiting at the hospital. I was really hoping that DH and I could have some time alone after birth so I can recover a bit and so we can bond with our son.
I guess I should be glad they finally settled with the waiting room (b/c at first they wanted to be IN the room while I was in labor 
), but I guess I just wish they would respect my wishes. I completely understand that they are excited, but it seems like no matter what I say nobody really understands why I want some privacy and time to ourselves for a short while after the baby is born.
Maybe I'll wait until after I give birth to call.
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Re: Family in waiting room (vent)
Do what you want. The closer I get to having this baby the more strongly I feel about having as few people around as possible.
Just tell them that you and DH were caught up in having the baby and couldn't find the time to call.
Woops sorry:)
Yes... I'm pretty sure my parents and ILs will be in the waiting room. Which is better than in the room during labor (MIL was in SIL's room until she started pushing, so I'm sure she expects the same of me... uh, NO!)
I don't plan to invite them into the room after delivery for at least 1 hour... until we've had time to bond and try to breastfeed.
I think it is silly that they will be sitting out there for potentially a very long time, but there is no reasoning with them, especially the ILs.
haha yeah really, you are in control. If you are really against it, no one has to know..........
You deserve some peaceful time to be a family!!
Just have the nurses say that they can't come see you until x amt of time after the birth.
At my hospital I'll labor/deliver in one room and then get moved to the mom/baby side. If your hospital is set up like that, have them wait until you're on the mom/baby side.
Um yes, we are totally going through the same thing. My MIL also said she wanted to be there when the baby latched on for the first time. Wow. MIL is sooo worried that we are not going to call her IMMEDIATELY when we are headed to the hospital that she brings it up every time we are together. I don't know how much more I can take of it...so yes, I definitely understand what you are going through!
Wow!
I kinda want to smack your MIL now lol!
this...exactly!
Both moms gave us a hard time about this. We've made it clear to them that we're not even calling until after baby's here because we don't want this or constant phone calls to find out what's going on.
Sorry they're not respecting your wishes!
Just as a side note, I had to go to L&D yesterday for some monitoring. I was there for a few hours, but when we were finally released I walked down the hall and there was this large group of people huddled outside of a labor room door waiting for the baby to be born. I thought it was rather rude of these people and they should have been asked to wait in the waiting room.
This is exactly why DH and I will not be calling anyone until we are ready for visitors. I know family and friends are excited, but they need to be able to respect our wishes. This is a lifetime changing moment and I do not want my experience to be negative because people can't listen.
Absolutely wait until after birth!
I know that the mom's will be there regardless (my mom works in the hospital and says she will go hang out in the lounge so that she's not in the uncomfortable waiting room). We have made it clear to the grandma's that the first hour after the baby is born is for the three of us to bond, period. When we are in a recovery room, the grandma's will be the first allowed to visit, and other family can come after that.
Our hospital is set up so we will be laboring & delivering in one room and then moved to another room after delivery. Once we're in the 2nd room, they have a 1 hr policy (thank God) where there is nobody but DH, myself & the baby.?
FWIW : I have a girlfriend who didn't call anyone, not even either set of parents, until they were released from the hospital and back at home. She said she wouldn't have done it any other way.?
Good luck with everything! :-)?
We are having both my mom & my MIL in the room which is enough for me but everyone else wants to be in the waiting room which really annoys me; I told DH that I don't want to see anyone from the waiting room sneaking into the delivery room & if I do I am not going to be able to control the words that come out of my mouth so he better warn them that they are going to be waiting until DS is born & we are in our recovery room to see him.
We have told both of our moms that we are going to have them leave the room once DS is born so that DS & I can get cleaned up, catch our breath & DH & I bond with our LO for a while before the circus begins & they both got upset........they really have some nerve. I know that they are excited but we are going to be meeting our child for the first time & I think that needs to be understood & respected!!
You would think that as family members people would have more respect....but really they think that they can just do whatever they want!! Sorry to vent & good luck to you!
Ugh-weird-just weird. Where do people think up these ideas?! At least mine hasn't requested watching something that involves my boobie. GL with that!
I'm in the same boat.
My whole freaking family and SO's will be in the waiting room. It's so annoying. I mean, it's not like the baby is going anywhere. There is no need for them to see the baby immediately. I could understand my parents and his being in there, but everyoneeee? Ridiculous.
And I had to bluntly tell my mother and SOs that they were NOT going to be in the delivery room. They got really offended, but oh well. My decision.
My IL's want to be called the second I go into labor so that they can come up to the hospital, sit in the room with DH and I staring at us, and then leaving for the waiting room as soon as it starts getting close to giving birth. And then, they want to remain at the hospital non-stop until we leave to go home.
I am NOT cool with this at all....I would like to actually wait and not call anyone until after the baby is born....I want to be able to spend time with DH and the baby afterwards without worrying about 20 people chomping at the bit in the waiting room to get into the room and see the baby. I don't know if I will win that battle though....if my labor is long, we will have to call someone eventually to ask them to let our dogs out.
SIL actually said that she was "insulted" when we told them that we weren't going to be calling them right away to come and wait at the hospital....like it is her right to be there ready to pounce on OUR baby. I have said repeatedly that I do not want people in the room staring at me while I am in pain during labor....MIL just doesn't get that; she thinks that her being there helps to pass the time and makes things easier....I think it would make things harder and more uncomfortable!
Also, as a side note, when I was 16 weeks I fell and had to go to the ER for an emergency U/S. We were at the hospital for a total of one hour, and thankfully didn't have much waiting to do. We were at my parent's house when I fell, so they knew we were going but did not go with us.
We called the IL's afterwards to let them know what happened, and to tell them everything was fine....and SIL first said "Oh, you should have called me, I would have come up and waited with you!" She then asked if my parents went with us. She is so competitive when it comes to sides of the family...she would have been royally p*ssed off if my parents had come and she had not been invited!
So for her to be mad that we didn't call her to come and wait for a measly hour...I can only imagine how mad she will be when we don't call her to come and wait around for the birth!
Our families will be around and I don't really mind this. I figure it may be a good distraction for me while I am laboring to have people to talk to. Once I am ready to push, everyone is banished to the waiting room.
What I am worried about is DH's friends. He has had the same friends since he was in Kindergarten (didn't branch out much!) and so they are pretty much like his brothers. Except they are all 23, irresponsible, loud, annoying, and are a huge PITA! They all want to be in the waiting room too. I feel bad for the hospital and anyone else having a baby when I am but DH really wants them to be there. They just can't see the baby until we have had time to bond and our parents get to meet the LO. I figure, if they want to wait that long, its their choice!
I'm sorry you're frustrated, but honestly -- I never understand why people get upset over this.
YOU'RE the mom, you get to decide. If they want to spend 20 hours sitting in a waiting room, too bad for them. You just do your thing, and ignore the fact that your entire family is out there!
If you want to spend an hour (or heck, 5 hours) bonding with the baby with just you and your husband -- just do it. Honestly, they won't even know that you've actually had the baby until you decide to send someone out there to tell them. You spend as much time with your new little family as you want. Only once you're ready to share should you send DH or whoever out to the waiting room to tell the fam that the little one has arrived.
Honestly, they can insist all they want, you guys are in charge of the actual call.
We didn't call anyone until I was settled on the Maternity floor. This time won't be as easy because we need to leave DD with someone, but they all know from the first time around that no one comes to the hospital until we call them. My first labor and delivery was 18 hrs beginning to end, why someone would want to hang around in a tiny waiting room for that long is beyond me.
this. there's really no need to get so worked up over it. so what if they're in the waiting room? just tell your nurses you don't want anyone other than medical staff and DH in the delivary area and you're set. if they want to wait hours upon end thru your labor and bonding time, then ballyhoo for them. them being in a whole different area of the hospital really shouldn't be that big of a deal.
I always like to wait in the waiting room with my family while we're anticipating a new niece or nephew. It is just something families like to do together. Your family is just excited about the new baby, which is a good thing. Plenty of families out there don't care about the arrival of a new baby in the family.
You still determine when they can come to the room to see the baby, so why not just let them wait a little longer in the waiting room while you have your bonding time? They won't know the difference.
Here's what my family does....The whole family waits in the waiting room, the new dad comes out and tell the "stats" when the baby is born, then he goes back to the room for a couple of hours of bonding/family time with the new baby. Usually the rest of the family grabs something to eat and comes back when the mom is ready for visitors and the baby has been to the nursery.