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Should I be in the delivery room with my sister?

stepgirl21stepgirl21 member
in Infertility

So there is a problem I have been having ever since my sister got pg. Now that she could deliver anyday now it is become more apparent. My mom thinks that if I don't see the baby be born and help my sister with pushing and stuff that I will regret it. I'm like "hello, no way in heck I can do that!" Not because I don't want to but because it would be excruciatingly difficult for me.

My mom is a labor and delivery nurse for 20 years now and I think she forgets how emotional it is b/c she sees it everyday all day long. My mom understands about my IF but you all know, nobody really understand unless they have been through it. If she really understood she wouldn't ask me to do it. What would you do? I just don't think I can do it.


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Re: Should I be in the delivery room with my sister?

  • smorzandojsmorzandoj member
    It is hard just to see my sister in her third trimester.  I will not be in the delivery room for hers.
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  • gingerfamilygingerfamily member
    I was in l&d for my sister's birth of twins.  If I didn't do it, I would regret it today.
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  • LALASEPT05LALASEPT05 member
    Would you be in the delivery room if you weren't dealing with IF? Just curious because I was not in the delivery room with my sisters at any point. That is just something you have to decide and just tell your Mother this is the way it is. You're right she does not know what you're going through - you can't possibly know unless you've been here. If you feel like its just too much for you then you absolutely don't need to be there. For both you and your sister its not good to force this. You don't want to put yourself through unnecessary heartache and you also don't want to effect her happy moment. I'm sure if you're there and you get upset - your sister will get upset and that's not fair either. It should be fine if you just visit her in the hospital after the baby is born or once she is at home. If you can talk to your sister and just explain it to her - that would be good. It's really between the two of you.
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  • mrs.gogetmrs.goget
    My sister's due August 2nd.  She asked me to be in the delivery room, but I said no.  Just not something I'm mentally ready for.
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  • Romeo&DeniseRomeo&Denise member

    I would do what feels right for me now. You can't help how you feel, so personally I wouldn't regret not doing something that doesn't feel right to me at the moment.

    I know for me at this moment, I couldn't do it (my SIL is  prego too). GL with your decision, but don't let others influence your decision too much.

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  • MoFreeMoFree member
    I also had major issues with my younger sister's pregnancy, exacerbated because of her very unhealthy living situation.  There was no way I would have been able to be in the delivery room.  No offense to your mother, but I don't think she should be telling you what you will or will not regret.  My advice is only go if you feel it's something you want to do and realize how difficult it might be.  Do not allow yoruself to be shamed into it if your heart tells you no. 
    Just my two cents.
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

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    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

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  • yodasmistressyodasmistress member

    I was in the room for the delivery of both of my sister's kids.  I cried both times.  I treasure those memories and would not un-have those experiences if someone paid me. 

     I *know* how hard IF is.  But if you and your sister are very close, I agree with your MIL.  

     
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  • RFBsbrideRFBsbride member

    This is just my personal opinions, but IF or not, I would not be in the delivery room for anyone, no matter how close I was to the person.  I strongly believe that labor and birth should be shared between the parents-to-be and everyone else can wait until the child is safely in the world and ready to be seen (unless there is an alternate birthing coach as well).  Again, just my opinion.

    Sweetie, I don't blame you one bit for having a tough time with this decision.  But honestly, you need to think of yourself and your mental well-being first, not what your mother or sister will think you'll regret.  I have to agree with the PP who said "who are they to say what you will regret?"  I wasn't present when my niece was born and never once have I regretted it.  It doesn't make me love her any less nor does anyone in my family think any less of me.

    Do what you want to do and what you are comfortable with.

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