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Karma1969
member
DD from SM who called her SS a brat and spanked him
Karma1969
member
for wanting his Dad to lay with him until he fell asleep.
I'm so not surprised about that!
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Re: DD from SM who called her SS a brat and spanked him
RSVP Date: 2/28/2011
She didn't spank him.....
She said her H spanked him when he's bad, but not over the falling asleep thing.
Ok.
She called him a spoiled brat because he wanted his Dad to lay with him while he fell asleep as they had been doing for 7 years. The Dad spanked him and SM thought it was a good plan because he would act up when Dad left the room when he wasn't asleep yet.
While I cannot speak for other people, I can speak for my own responses to her situation, which was the sleep issue.
All I pointed out, was that given the boys situation (a shatty home life with mom, only getting to see dad for short periods of time, a new sister/brother on the way and only being the ripe old age of 7), making changes in OTHER areas of his time with them, would lessen the boy's dependency on Daddy at bed time.
In THIS particular situation, at THIS particular time, with THIS particular boy, spanking may not be the appropriate forms of punishment when you are trying to make OVERALL behavioral changes. There are too many studies have shown that corporeal punishment actually creates either more aggressive or more codependent children to discount them out of hand.
And I think that I was pretty nice to her, given that I am not anti-spanking given the right circumstances (situation, time, child's personality).
Especially when one of the two reasons why she wants this addressed is so her DH would be free to help her with the baby.................because for 60 minutes, two nights a month she would have to take care of that baby all by herself.
I am almost 100% sure that the she said spanking was not the punishment for the sleeping situation. She said that punishments in general (spankings, etc) were doled out by the Dad, that she did not play the role of disciplinarian. However, most people skipped over that when they saw the big bad S word. I wish someone had the OP.
Completly agree with you. I was just pointing out that she said she did not spank him to clarify for those who thought she may have.
People on the bump get a bad rep. everytime they mention spanking. It is even worse for a SM to mention that word especially when it doesn't concern her own biological children.
Did her OP deserve a flame? Sure. Her attitude towards her SS and the situation needed to be corrected if she wanted improvments from her SS. She did/does not deserve to be flamed for "spanking" when she clearly stated she didn't do it, nor did her H in this situation.
Mary - you are correct. They were not using the spanking for the sleeping issues. It wasn't until she responded that today's problems with disrespectful children can be attributed to the LACK of spanking, most replies were pretty benign.
That, coupled with the way she worded when/how she used spanking (in her clarification post) made it sound that spanking was her FIRST response not her last resort to punishment.
Parenting to the child is always better than using a blanket punishment for all. Here you have an overly needy kid who acts out. The operative word is needy. He is still getting attention (especially physical) for his bad deeds. Wouldn't shunning (ie sitting in his room away from his family) be a harsher punishment FOR THIS KID?
That is all I was trying to point out.
It's the other posters who keep pointing out the spanking for punishment for sleeping that I want to clarify that with. Persecute the woman for the right crime, otherwise you all just look ridiculous.
She was odd. I'm not completely against spanking but I think it was Illumine who said it lacks imagination, and I agree.
She mentioned something about picturing bringing him down a peg, or something strange like that. It was creepy.
Brain fart over. It was the chick who posted about her DD being upset because her routine was going to changed b/c ex would not keep her overnight. Man that was a confussing post.
As for the one at hand here. I am not sure how I take that woman. I have a feeling that she is super frustrated and things may have come out wrong....we have all been there. I don't agree with spanking in general, I think some instances it happens to be okay, so I will go with conflicted. But I do think that when you lose sight of the original topic, which in her case was the sleeping issue-NOTHING to do with spanking, that it makes the responders look ridiculous. It is one thing to offer advice/criticism/flames for the topic at hand, and then add "about spanking" or whatever. But to focus on only that, it makes the post pointless. I can see where she got frustrated and wanted to DD-not something you will often if ever hear from me.
I am going to quote this in the future.
I think that she typed the post when she was super frustrated. She definitely did not spank the kid nor did her DH for this BUT they had talked about it and agreed that DH should.
She called me out and told me to get a grip because I answered all the questions in her post, she tought that was petty. She actually replied to me with 'I know I said that but what I meant was bla bla bla'. Unfortunatly That day I was unable to read her mind.
The post was strange because it reeked of..... now that I am having my own child I want this brat out of the way..... maybe it was just me that read it that way!
Also her little jokes at the end of 'were all evil SM's' made me believe that she genuinely thought we all gathered here to b!tch about our SK's and so our reply would be along the lines of 'I know isn't it terrible what we have to go through'.