He's cheating... and that's not the worst part!

CobeMomma · June 2009

So anyone who's been following me knows there have been more than a few problems with my BF... most of it I've just chalked up to anxiety, mood swings and general normal relationship problems getting blown out of proportion. But this is it! I thought he was just being inconsiderate... but NO... he's cheating!

He's got this ex/friend. I don't know exactly what it is anymore but here is what I do know. While I'm sitting at home wait for him, he's out to dinner with her. He's asking me to put gas in the car while he's out spending money on her. A few weeks ago she messaged me and I went off on her because I don't want her talking to me about the baby... I don't like her. She's a 2 faced b*tch, plain and simple. She was saying all this stuff like the baby isn't his and I ruined their relationship... B*tch... I've been with him for 2 years and he's my first and only bed buddy. So of course I basically cussed her out. They got in a fight and she supposedly told him she didn't want to be friends anymore... and he tried to guilt trip me. I said I was sorry he was in pain and moved on from there.

HERE's the KiCKER!!!!!
He's the one telling her the baby isn't his! He told her he hasn't spoken to me since the time that all of us got in the fight over her messaging me! He told her we took a DNA test... and I think he told her the baby still wasn't his.

I've been up for 2 hours and I don't think I'll be sleeping again tonight. I'm trying not to kill him in his sleep. I walked out just so I could calm down and get on a computer. What the F*CK!

What am I supposed to do with this? You may not like it but if it was just cheating, I could forgive it in time. But to lie about the baby, OUR baby, ... I don't think there is an apology big enough for that.

ginmae85@yahoo.com · June 2009

I am so sorry. I am thinking about you. The only thing to I can tell you follow your heart, There are a lot of good guys out there. I would have a hard time trusting him again. Good luck.

xcrunr3 · June 2009

You don't need this stress in your life; especially when the baby needs you to be in good health (both body and mind). As they say, if he cheats once it's his fault...twice, it's yours. Get out now while you can, as difficult as it may be. A new baby won't change his shady ways.

I wish you the best.

C12H22O11 · June 2009

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Things like this always hurt, but I can't imagine having to deal with it while pregnant. I agree with pp; it's best to leave now. A baby isn't going to make him grow up or realize he wants to be with you, especially since he's telling his ex/friend that it's not his.

I wish you the best. (((hugs)))

neonvicki81 · June 2009

Just many many hugs to you. I hope you find something that you can do to get out of this relationship because it doesn't not seem healthy at all.

planeNsimple · June 2009

neonvicki81:

Just many many hugs to you. I hope you find something that you can do to get out of this relationship because it doesn't not seem healthy at all.

I agree 100%. I'm so sorry you have to go through this! What a horrible thing to go through! But I think it is best to run...and run fast.

Kendall13 · June 2009

I'd be packing his bags while he is out and then leaving them on the door step. Kick his butt out of that house ASAP.

If he wants to spend this time with that woman, then let him stay there.

Having a baby isn't going to turn him into a man. Besides, you don't want your LO to grow up wanting to be anything like him. As hard as it is, it's better to be happy and secure while doing it on your own than to let someone like that into your life.

SurfBride4 · June 2009

Sorry, but I would kick his a$$ out of there in a heartbeat. You don't need deadbeats like that around your child!! Be strong girl

KimberlyJean · June 2009

ITA Kendall's post - pack his bags and tell him he's already made his choice. It will be hard to be on your own, but it's much harder to be on your own in a relationship.

You deserve SO much more. So sorry you are going through this. Thoughts, hugs, and prayers. GL!

ebesse25 · June 2009

C12H22O11:
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Things like this always hurt, but I can't imagine having to deal with it while pregnant. I agree with pp; it's best to leave now. A baby isn't going to make him grow up or realize he wants to be with you, especially since he's telling his ex/friend that it's not his.

I wish you the best. (((hugs)))

Those are the most sincere, wisest words you will hear on this topic. I, for one, just watched my best friend find out her husband of 5 years and father of her child cheated on her and then lied about details etc. He promised he would change and then a month later was back off track. I wouldn't give guys like that a second chance. You're lucky you're not married to him. You can easily erase him from your life, and I believe you should. You don't have to put your child through all of the issues that rise out of things like this. I feel so strongly about these things. If he's doing this to you now, he is not and will never be the kind of husband or father that you or your child deserve. Kick him to the curb. Forget the drama. That's for highschool. You have huge responsibilities for not only yourself now. Be strong and find a real man when you're ready for him.

mrsh1020 · June 2009

You don't necessarily have to be a man to create one (just "male") - but you do have to be a man to support and take responsibility for one. Obviously he doesn't fit that bill. This is absolutely NOT a reflection on you: he wants to play games, he can play them elsewhere. You don't mention how supportive your family is (about the baby and such) - I'm hoping they are loving and are completely there for you. In the long run, you will be much better off getting rid of the Drama King and Queen and moving on with your LO. G/L... I wish you the best!

mrs_sherod · June 2009

Drop him like a hot potato! You don't need that stress in your life! If he wants to lie about the baby being his, that's his loss. The last thing you need to EVER do pregnant or not is argue with another female over a guy. If she wants to be his 'friend' or whatever, let her! Inform her you don't want her to contact you EVER, this has nothing to do with her, she was NOT there when this baby was conceived.

Stay strong, your baby needs you!

kristin329 · June 2009

Dump His Ass! If he would do this to you while you are carrying his child this will not stop. He is an Ass. I know it will be painful and hard at first but please tell him to beat it and don't waste your time on him anymore. He can be a dad if he mans up once baby is born but don't be in a relationship with this fool. You deserve better for yourself. Life is too short to waste it on someone who clearly cares only about himself. What a terrible thing to go through while pregnant. I'm sorry. Best wishes to you but please Dump Him. Don't play the fool.....

nicolebuchalla · June 2009

I'm so sorry you're going through this! It must be so infuriating. I would say to have him leave, move out. Pack his stuff. He is not going to change. Men rarely do unless THEY want to, and it sound like he doesn't. I'm wishing you the best, girl. Good luck!

epopp85 · June 2009

Kick his arse to the curb!! It looks like you live in Texas, if it's anything like Oklahoma (which it probably is) and you guys have lived together for a while (6mo in OK), you can call common law marriage and divorce his a$$ and take everything he's got. Pg women and women with new babies will most likely get quite a bit of sympathy from a judge. I'm really vindictive, but I think in this case, it would be justified.

GL to you.

Mabzie · June 2009

you need to get rid of him plain and simple. get him for child support. stupid f**k. be strong. you will make it through this.

nv2009 · June 2009

I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially with you being pregnant. My advice is move on and take care of yourself and the baby. I know it's difficult and scary, but you deserve much more. You need a man who loves you and the baby, not one who cheats and denies the baby is his. Good luck.

KandM05 · June 2009

Well, you mentioned in your blog that you and him were never really dating, and that he has another girlfriend and that he made it clear already he doesnt want to be with you or the baby, so really, is any of this a suprise?

Flyswmer · June 2009

planeNsimple:
neonvicki81:

Just many many hugs to you. I hope you find something that you can do to get out of this relationship because it doesn't not seem healthy at all.

I agree 100%. I'm so sorry you have to go through this! What a horrible thing to go through! But I think it is best to run...and run fast.

Double agree. You need to take care of yourself and the baby. (HUGS)

teacherjulie · June 2009

here is my advice, if the apartment/house is in your name kick him out now. If you are not on the lease pack your things get your name of off utilities if you need to and leave. You are better of without him. I wish you the best of luck

SUNKISSD3 · June 2009

I am so sorry that you are going thru this... its definitely a shi++y time for this to happen.. pg or not. Your in my prayers.

But i definitely agree with you. If it was just the cheating then maybe in time you cld forgive .. but of course you never forget. But for him to say that your LO is NOT his...??? what did you lay and make by yourself?? If you've been with him for 2 yrs and you kno you didnt cheat... then its his.

He needs to man up and just deal.

I hope that you will work things out in whichever way that you want them to go. I mean yes you want him to fess up but its your decision to stay with him.

In my thoughts and prayers you work it out...

Keep your head up in all this as hard as it may be

woolgathered · June 2009

Wow. It sounds like he is definitely not ready for this, and by being with his ex, he's trying to relive his younger, carefree days.

He is a loser, you are not. He may be the sperm doner, but he sure isn't the father.

mags1984 · June 2009

I feel for you, my first baby is now 2 and she will never know her real dad because he did the same *** even after we had a DNA test he still said he doesnt want anything to do with her he has never even seen her, and i finally 2 yrs later i stopped getting calls and other crap from his girl tryin to start ***!!! but on the bright side i found a great guy who loves me and treats her as his own and we are better off now. so good guys are out there, but i know how hard the bull *** is!!! i hope things get better for you soon!!!

trinamarie87 · June 2009

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I agree with a lot of women here in saying. Pack his things either that or run and run fast. You don't need that. Pregnancy is stressful enough and if he's willing to claim that the child that you are carrying isn't his, then he's made it pretty clear that he doesn't care about the child either. He won't change unless he wants to and it sounds like he's not even making an attempt to want to. I know it's hard to leave him but it will be so much better in the long run to do things on your own until you're ready to find a man that can love you both (you and baby) equally and give you what you deserve, a caring loving home and a father that your baby deserves.

alelau1402 · June 2009

xcrunr3:

You don't need this stress in your life; especially when the baby needs you to be in good health (both body and mind). As they say, if he cheats once it's his fault...twice, it's yours. Get out now while you can, as difficult as it may be. A new baby won't change his shady ways.

I wish you the best.

This!!! You need to focus on yourself and the baby. Stop worrying about him, cause its clear you two are not in this thoughts. Someone out there does deserve you love and trust.....

littlemaybaby · June 2009

2 things - most of which everyone else before me has also said:

1) I am so terribly sorry you are going through this. You and your baby deserve SO much better.

2) RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. Someone who brings this much drama into your life is not good for you or your baby - in the short term or the long term.

Good luck to you!

reannegummer · June 2009

Get out now. He sounds like an immature waste of time. The fact that you have to deal with all this stress during your pregnancy is awful. Having to get a DNA test ? This almost sounds like it should be on one of those talk shows. As much as nobody wants to be a single parent, the drama your baby will have to grow up with (watching you two fighting, you crying, etc.) will be much more detrimental in the long run.

Nobody deserves to be treated this way. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

Bonnie Clubb · June 2009

You will fdo better off without him, you need to pack up your things and move somewhere else. To avoid the drama do it while he is gone and just wait to talk to him till you are ready. You do not want to stress yourselve out right now, it is not good for you or the baby.

cindydee · June 2009

WOW! he's so immature. As hard as it is you need to leave him. It's one thing to cheat & be sorry & be forgiven ...its another thing to cheat, continue to cheat & in your situation regect his baby. He's obiously not ready to take on this big responsibility...he'll learn in time ..but he has to learn it on his own, you or anyone else can't make him. It must be tuff but you need to be strong for u n the baby ..sorry.