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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Please tell me! Feeling bad for Kate
Can someone fill me in about WHY they feel 'badly for Kate'? And not the answers given in the post below like, 'He needs to be responsible for his kids!' or 'He just wants to party like a rock star and sow his wild oats.'
Why do you feel badly for her? Do you not think that she has been the demise of her own marriage with the way she belittles her family? Should she be able to behave however she chooses, consequences be damned? Please tell me how / where/ when she has been wronged.
And this question is not about the kids - I think we all agree that THEY have been wronged.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Please tell me! Feeling bad for Kate
I think she brought it on herself, but she is making a pretty good show of being the one that wants to stick it out.
She made it clear that she did not want to end the marriage, Jon did. "Boo hoo, I don't want to be alone."
Here! Here! I don't understand that mind set. I hate to say it, but she brought it on herself. I'm just surprised it took this long for the divorce. If I acted like towards dh, he would have been gone a long time ago.
I feel bad for the whole family, Kate included.
Divorce is a hard thing for anyone to go through, and it has to be even harder in the public eye.
I also feel bad for her because yeah she may have been a b!tch on tv, but no one deserves to be cheated on. Jon's attitude sucked last night. I don't know how he could have sat there and said he was excited about what was giong on. He obviously wants out, and well she seems like she wants things to work.
I just think the whole thing is 6 of one, and 1/2 dozen of another. We don't know what goes on when the cameras aren't there.
I do not feel bad for her at all...or Jon for that matter.
I do feel bad for the kids and I think it's been sad to watch their family fall apart over the last few years. While they both have never been perfect, I think you could see they genuinely cared for eachother and their children and had a lot of "fun family moments" in the early seasons. It's sad that they both lost sight of this and both became so selfish.
I don't think any relationship fails becasue of one partner. I think Kate is a strong personality and Jon is a weak one. I think she was a real b!tch on that show, complete and utter.
I think Jon was a pansy for not taking more initaitve for his own life. He is acting the victim, like he found himself somewhere 10 years later and is taking no responsibilty on how he got there.
I feel bad for Kate because she is getting all the blame.
Wait, hold up. We don't know that anyone cheated. And for that matter, there are allegations of infidelity on both sides (her with her bodyguard).
No one knows the situation except for Jon and Kate. Allegations are that she cheated too not just him.
As for feeling bad, I don't feel bad for anyone except the kids. Hopefully they can be better parents separately.
From my perspective I think Kate is a control freak who is quick to belittle her husband and people in general - however even in the earlier shows this seems to have been a cardinal trait of hers... now I do think it has gone up over the years but all in all she "appears" to have always been like this. Not to say this excuses her actions but I believe Jon knew what he married.
Now what makes me feel bad for Kate at this point is when one person in the marriage is DONE and you have no control (something she's very used to having). Of course, all I can judge is what they display so I'm sure it is skewed but based on what they've allowed us to see it appears that though she's a b!tch she does not want a divorce and I think 6-8 months is an awful short time to throw in the towel on Jon's part. Again, this is just what I can judge - I'm sure there's more to it but it appears he got a taste of being a kid-less man and liked that and the freedom. Being a parent to 8 children is surely hard and I can see why it is so enticing or "exciting" as he puts it to leave. I'm sure he loves his kids but seeing them on a part-time basis is probably more his style.
It has to suck when one partner in the marriage is quick to dissolve it without even going through counseling - to me; I've seen no grave breakdown in the marriage. All marriages have tough times and if you have mutual love and respect for each other you can heal it.
But who knows, maybe behind closed doors Kate beats Jon up or something - lol - which then that's an entirely different issue!
m/c 11/2/09
*in da bag so far: D90|nikon 18-200|50mm f/1.8|sb700*
As I said in the pp, I think J + K sold their souls to the devil when they decided to PIMP those poor kids (for money) on TV. I feel sorry for the kids. Parents are supposed to protect children. Not parade them on TV for money.
This is my exact opinion on all documentary style reality TV. Nothing is free, so if you are getting oodles of fame and wealth just for being you- you sold your soul.
I think this has more to do with Jon being 22 when he got married and not knowing who he was or what he wanted. Kate was a strong personality and steered him - which he needed. But now he's 32 and he wants more control over his life. That was bound to happen sooner or later.
The problem is that when you have kids, it's not about you anymore. That's where I feel bad for Kate. Now he's decided he wants his life a certain way but with 8 kids, you have to accept certain responsibilities. He never wanted the last kid (which turned into 6). He said over and over he was happy with just the twins. I think while he loves the sextuplets, there is a lot of resentment that because they went for one more kid and got 6, their lives are not what he wanted and so he handled it by checking out.
While I'm no fan of Kates, at least she is trying to provide for the kids - even if it's not in a way most people agree with. Jon seems more interested in recapturing his youth - it doesn't matter if it's proven that he had the affairs or not to most people. He's acting like a 22 year old single guy and not a married father of 8. That's why Kate is getting sympathy.
The person who said Kate doesn't like not having any control over Jon checking out of the marriage is totally right too- with her personality, that must be eating her alive!
IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
Ditto this word for word.
I didn't say in my OP that she was faultless in this. I've watched the show and I've seen how she has treated him. However, like Rah said, I think this is how she is and Jon knew what he was getting himself into. Does that excuse her behavior? No. But it's not like she magically became this way out of nowhere 6 months ago.
I feel badly for her because he seemed tickled pink in last night's episode to be walking away from this marriage. Would they be going through this if they weren't on the show? Maybe, maybe not. Did she/they bring this on themselves? Quite possibly. Still doesn't make the sting of your husband walking away from your marriage any easier. I feel the same for anyone whose marriage doesn't work out - for whatever reason.
And FWIW, I was hoping that they'd cancel the show. I, like everyone else, feel that the kids are the ones who are really suffering from all this. Especially the older ones. Sad.
I think they both have their priorities out of whack, but I do feel badly for Kate. I feel bad that somehow she gets 100% of the blame for their marriage collapsing. She has a strong personality, yes. But does that allow her husband to cheat on her? And as for the allegations of Kate cheating, I don't believe those for one second. Jon is the one that has spread those rumors (he told that to Kate's brother, who told the tabloids), and the only other proof of that is that Kate is around her bodyguard a lot. Which, yeah, she is, because he's her bodyguard. There have been no pictures of Kate leaving someone's house in the morning, or Kate leaving a bar with someone- that's all Jon.
Now Kate has to raise her kids with someone who is acting like a 19 year old, and that must suck.
Thank you! I think he's excited to spend time without being chastised and nit-picked constantly by Kate. I think he's excited to spend time with his kids without having Kate hovering over them, obesessing about them getting dirty, wearing matching outfits or eating non-organic lollipops.
She may be trying to claim that she wants to stick it out, but by doing what? I mean in the season opener she defended herself and implied that she's never been wrong in the way she's treated her husband. Really?? I mean, really, if you can't at least look at yourself honestly and admit there are things you can improve, than what effort are you really putting into trying to hold things together.
I'm not doubting that there's faults on both sides, etc. However, I have no sympathy for Kate.
agree with Mrs HK. The show (I say that b/c dont' know how much is edited) made it seem like Kate didn't think she did anything wrong. I don't have sympathy for either one. They say they're doing this for the kids, but if that was true, they would have taken a break and worked on their family. If that didn't work, then you don't air your dirty laundry on TV; that is, if you're in this for the children.
Did anyone else notice that the kids were wearing shirts advertising those crooked houses? This while their parents are in middle of divorce. It was gross.
I agree with you here, but there are rumors that Kate basically told Jon that the marriage was over at the end of last year. Yes, they were still legally married, but for all intents and purposes, they were separated. Either way, Jon didn't exactly handle his freedom very well. I'm more concerned with the kids seeing their father out with another woman and hanging out at college bars. Kate's a big girl - she can deal with it.
I don't really have any sympathy for either party here, but if I had to choose a side, it would be Jon.
Rumors and speculation......We have all witnessed how Kate has humiliated Jon for years on that show. Did he deserve to be treated like that? Or do you feel badly for them both? If so, then I can see your point.
LATimes is reporting that the show has gone into production hiatus:
https://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2009/06/jon-kate-plus-8-goes-on-production-hiatus.html
Here's hoping that it becomes permanent. She's a bully, he's a wuss - the ones to feel sorry for are the children.
Umm, pictures don't lie and there have been some very incriminating pictures. That man is acting like a cad. Like I said if you hate your wife go to counseling or get a divorce! That was the dirty no spine way to handle something.
I think that divorce is always the fault of both people not just one. Both people in this marriage is to blame. Obviously, I feel the most sorry (and worried) for the kids. But perhaps I am in the minority, I feel more sorry for Kate than for Jon.
Kate is likely never hid that she was a strong, driven individual with a sharp tongue. Jon has likely always been more passive and easy-going. These two individuals got married most likely because the other was so different from themselves and they felt that they "complemented" each other.
The problem is of course that they got older and had kids and more responsibilities. Essentially, those personality traits that they probably liked in each other became grating and annoying. But how do you deal with that? One, you can go to counseling together and learn to grow and accept and work with it. Or two, you can check out.
I feel sorry for Kate because Jon knew what he married. What she did not do is go out at night to bars with members of the opposite sex and drink. Whether he cheated or not, doesn't matter. She's out there promoting the books and making money for the family. Maybe she wants to blow off steam too, but I haven't see any pix of that.
Also, she wants to try to work things out and at least try. That's the adult thing to do when there's 8 kids involved. That's not to say that if they divorce, it would be wrong or not "adult". But I think that it's adult to try to mend a marriage because there are kids involved. I think you owe it to the family to try. If it doesn't work out, then fine, but you tried. If they had no children, I'd say that divorce ASAP since the only impact is them.
Kate gets 100% of the blame for a circumstance in which two people grew apart (which was made worse by a show and having 8 kids). That also makes me feel sorry for her.