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ugh. EPing and guilt...
i am getting really sick of EPing. i mean, i spend about 3 hours a day JUST pumping....nevermind washing pump parts, having to get up at 5 am no matter what day of the week it is and what shift i work and how late jack sleeps, the hassle of refrigerating and warming breastmilk, the constant worry and hassle of trying to schedule life itself around pumping. i so wanted him to get only breastmilk for a year but i am really just beat and not sure if it is worth it.
he hasn't been eating well because of a cold, and i wanted to know if he would drink formula still (he had to for awhile in the hospital for increased calories) so i made a half a bottle of it to try before bed tonight just to see. he took it totally fine. which broke my heart a little bit because if he would ONLY take breastmilk i would totally do it for him. but apparently he doesn't mind it and now i am torn.
i am bone tired from working 40 hrs a week and getting up at 5 every.single.day. and we're going to TTC #2 in august but i haven't got my first PP AF yet. ugh. i don't know what to do. i guess i just want some opinions on either side of the fence from ladies who won't flame me or be mean no matter what opinion they have.
thanks in advance ladies!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: ugh. EPing and guilt...
are you pumping what he eats each day, or do you have a stash? Maybe you could use part of a stash and cut back. It doesn'thave to be all or nothing, either. Drop that 5am session if it's killing you and do a bottle of formula every day! It doesn't mean you can't still pump *some* milk if you want.
You should do what is best for you
Joseph Henry was born at home on March 9, 2009
Nora Mae was born at home on October 30, 2011
Tales of the Wife
11 months
So I have no experience breastfeeding or pumping. And I promise I won't flame because it's not my dang choice. It seems like the major question you have to answer, and that only you can answer, is whether it's worth it. Even just reading this, is seems like you're really close to being burnt out (if you aren't already there).
And as someone who worked herself way too hard for 3.5 years and is now pretty much unable to get off the couch or walk because of pain from that sort of overworking, you have to take care of yourself. No matter how fabulous your partner is, and no matter how much support you have, you're the one who's going to know best what you can handle and what you need to say no to doing. If that means that you can't EP any more, then you've done everything you can, and you'll continue to be a fabulous mother doing everything she can to give her son a wonderful life.
(((hugs))) and caring vibes to you as you work to figure out what's best for your family!
Mother's Day, 2011
Ditto everyone else - I think its a decision you need to make. I don't know why you are EPing or anything like that but its a wonderful thing you've done for your son no matter what. I think 7 months is a really long time to EP and I can't imagine many women get that far at all. So give yourself a huge congratulations for that before you start feeling bad about anything else.
Also, I totally agree with whoever said that maybe you could just cut out one pumping session a day (sounds like the 5 am one would be the most appreciated) and give one bottle of formula. I can't see any harm in that at all for you or your ds.
My advice is to do what you need to do to balance, while still making sure he gets "most" of his liquid as BMilk and not formula.
And hey, 51% is "most"
I would drop one pumping session a day- maybe not the 5am one sadly, since I bet you get the most milk then. But drop one session. And see how it goes, and how much formula you need. I wouldn't drop more than 1 session every 3 weeks- otherwise your supply may take a huge dip and it may be too late to get it back by the time you realize it.
And then stop dropiing session whenever it feels manageable.
I was never able to EP. It was always some combo version for us. I lasted with pumping until 6 month birthday and then I quit. At that point I was only getting 1 feeding worth per day! And I felt like I was always stuck at home or had to bend around MY pumping schedule, not the baby's!
Do your best for this baby AND do what's best for #2. Which IMHO, is to stop breast feeding once growing an embryo. Just trying to follow along with what happens in nature... but I know that comment will upset people.
I agree with pp about not having to go all or nothing -- just do as much as you can comfortably. Try pumping later at night rather than at 5 am if it's easier.THe more relaxed and less worked up you are, the easier it will be to ttc.
I pumped faithfully on the 10-hour days I worked with ds, and tried to with dd as well but she wouldn't take a bottle at all. She drank formula from a cup only when she was totally thirsty, but still and all they both thrived.
First off - you've really got to hand it to yourself - some people simply don't even try to either breastfeed and/or pump. What you have given and done for your son has been excellent for him. You've done a great job to give him the very best.
My next point - do what works and feels right for you. If it's REALLY bothering you and is really hard on you, then you're not going to make the milk you need for one, and for another, you don't want to be miserable until his first birthday. Again, do what's best for you and your family. Happy mama = Happy baby.
Another note: any milk banks in your area? A lot of women donate breastmilk. Maybe you can check w/ a local LLL or hospital?
Good luck!
I think Suzy's plan makes a lot of sense. Whatever you decide don't feel guilty - you've done a great thing to make it this far! I find pumping at work a pain so I can't imagine having to do it constantly.