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3rd Trimester
repost from yesterday: question about baptism after "party"?
I posted this last night, but I thought I would get a few more opinions on this... TIA!
We're planning to baptize the baby about a month after he/she is born. I always thought that we would have a party after the baptism (nothing crazy fancy, just at home probably in the backyard under a canopy etc). My mother said that since we just had a baby shower (at a banquet hall, women only, from both sides of the family), it seems like we're looking for more gifts by inviting people to the baptism and then back to our home...
I was planning to cater and rent a tent with tables and chairs, but nothing super expensive like at a restaurant...
What do you think? I mean I understand where she's coming from with the gift comment (most people in our families will give about a $100), but I think people expect to be invited to the baptism. After this party we wouldn't have anything baby specific until a communion I guess?
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Re: repost from yesterday: question about baptism after "party"?
I have never been to a baptism that didn't have some sort of reception/party afterward.
I always thought that's what was normal, but then my own mom is saying we look greedy...
I think I will take everyone's suggestion and just put no gifts on the invite. Plus I don't want people thinking we didn't baptize the baby!
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Sorry, I hit reply to soon.
Anyway, yes usually there is some sort of party afterwards. Around here gifts are usually given. My older to got money, savings bonds, bibles, crosses and other things like clothing and toys. I think most people would bring a gift but they wouldn't think that you are being greedy for having a party after the baptism.
We are having our baby baptized about 2 months after she is born and are having a little get together for very close friends and family afterward. I didn't even think about gifts or gift expectations. Are gifts for a baptism common? Shows how much I know!
So what is the alternative? Not to invite people? I guess if you were really worried you could write "no gifts" on the invitation. But I would just go forward with a nice classy get together and forget about it. I would NEVER think that a couple was gift grabbing if they invited me to their infant's baptism.
If people take time out of their lives to come witness my baby's baptism, I am going to feed them. That is my stance on it.
When my dd was baptized, we invited our close family and a few very close friends. Afterward, we had everyone over to our home for a casual lunch consisting of deli sandwiches and wraps, salads, fresh fruit, etc. We didn't decorate or anything like that, and we didn't even send out invites. Our mothers called the family members and spread the word for us, and we called our friends.
It is an important day in our child's life, so we wanted our family to be there. I don't think they felt like we were looking for gifts at all, although a few did give gifts.
not at all- any baptism I have ever attended, including DD's, had a reception that followed either at a home, hall or restaurant. I dont think its out of line at all. We only invited close family to the baptism (20 ppl) so it wasnt as large as my shower (approx 80 ppl attended my shower for DD#1)
HTH
I think it depends on the area you live in and the denomination, maybe. I was raised in the South and all of my Protestant friends seemed to get presents when they were Baptised, whether they were babies or older. I was Catholic and did not get gifts at my Christening, but I did after my First Communion.
I don't think I would want anyone else to throw the party...the biggest problem that I have is we have such a large family. The numbers add up fast, even with inviting the bare minimum we're probably looking at 60+. People in my family get offended if they're not invited....
I think the catering and tent would be fairly easy to get organized, plus I could have some friends run around for me to set up the catering
That's the norm around here for Catholics as well. We don't expect anyone to get Allie a "gift" for being baptized, nor are we inviting people to it. It'll be known when we're doing it, but since it is during a Mass, I know DH's family will NOT show up, mainly because they are anti-Catholic (his parents will suck it up and go, though). Also, my family - and 1/2 of DH's - is scattered far from us, so there wouldn't be a lot of people to invite anyways.
And we're doing ours the weekend before Thanksgiving (our parish is so large they only do it 6 weekends a year), so we know people won't be willing to travel then.?
where im from gifts for the baptism are not common so this wouldnt be an issue at all.
i say just have the party.
We are defiantly having a get together after the baptism of our son at our house. We don't have the room to do anything outside (live in a condo). People can bring gifts if they feel like it, but they are not expected. I've only brought gifts to baptisms where I was the godmother. I'd say go for it and have fun:)