I can not believe my neighbor told me to put a lock

mattswife91805 · June 2009

on M's door and let her in there. No f'in way am I putting a lock on my daughters door b/c she won't stay in bed. She told me she needs to learn to stay in her bed when its bed time, she put a lock on her DS's (3 of them) to keep them in there room. I will keep walking her back upstairs a hundred times if I have too. My DH was furious she even suggested this. This is the neighbor that if her DS wakes up before 9am she won't go get them until 9am when she is ready to wake up. And that I am in the wrong b/c I get up w/ Makayla when she wakes up at 6:30am ..... Um hello don't have kids if you want don't want to loose sleep.

Ok vent over.

Rebekah1021 · June 2009

I think that's extreme. What if there is a fire?

Andrewsgal · June 2009

Call me a horrible Mom I put a child proof door knob on the inside of DD's door. I did it mainly for safety reasons (so she did not leave her room in the middle of the night), but I do think it helped because she realized that she could not get out so why try. It was the easiest transistion ever, and I think that is why. Bad Mom here!

Brewster · June 2009

We have a baby gate on Noah's door. We keep his big door open though. Works like a charm.

Brewster · June 2009

And ditto the easiest transition ever!

aprilmomtobe · June 2009

ditto the pp

I started off doing what Brewster does, but when DS figured out the gate, I switched to what Andrewsgal does. Works like a charm.

I don't see the issue.

Rebekah1021 · June 2009

Andrewsgal:
Call me a horrible Mom I put a child proof door knob on the inside of DD's door. I did it mainly for safety reasons (so she did not leave her room in the middle of the night), but I do think it helped because she realized that she could not get out so why try. It was the easiest transistion ever, and I think that is why. Bad Mom here!

I do this too! I just can't put a lock on the door

LeoChic · June 2009

I guess I'm a bad mom then because we had a short time period where we put a lock on the outside of DD's door. However, DD was out of her crib and in a toddler bed by 18 mths because she started climbing out of her crib. After nearly breaking her leg we decided we had to bite the bullet and move her to a toddler bed. About a week after we moved her, she learned how to open the door by herself. So, she kept coming out of her room and at that age we were not able to "explain" to her why she had to stay in her room or give her consequences that she could understand. After a week of hours on end of putting her in back in bed, we put one of those childproof door knob holders on the inside of her door which she immediately broke off. We just kept doing the "put her back in bed" routine for another week. But then one night, I found her downstairs roaming around the kitchen in the middle of the night. A couple nights later, she was playing in DH's office. Finally, for safety reasons we put the lock on the door. It stayed there until she was around 2 and we could reason with her more about why she had to stay in her room.

DevonPow · June 2009

Most people I know have at least a baby gate at the door to their DC's room. That or a child proof lock of some kind. I don't see the big deal at all. We already have a gate installed in the door of DC's room, but don't use it yet since he is still in his cribl. You bet your butt I'll use it when we switch him, though.

butterbeansmama · June 2009

DS is still in his crib (and does not climb out), but when it is time to put him in a big boy bed, we will have a gate at the door (probably) - same thing IMO. We keep his door shut because we have a dog and two cats.

As for the not getting her kid until 9:00am. I did this with P for a long time. A lot of times he would wake up at 5:00am and I would wait a little while and he would go back to sleep until 9:00. Now he wakes up at 7:00 sometimes, but I don't go in to get him until 7:30 at least. He takes a while to actually "wake up".

Chrisy-Wyobride · June 2009

I "lock" my DD#2 in her room when I give her repeated warnings & she doesn't stay in bed. I don't actually lock it, I just open a drawer in the hallway so her door only opens a couple inches & soon as she is asleep, I close the drawer so she can get out when she wakes up. It's no big deal.

amiamish · June 2009

Brewster:
We have a baby gate on Noah's door. We keep his big door open though. Works like a charm.

ditto! I do not like shut doors, they make me feel claustrophobic. We keep the gate at Jake's door and it works perfect.

A few weeks ago we had a thunder storm come through, scared the crap out of DS. He sprung out of bed calling "mommmy!!!" and as I was coming around the corner he was half way over the gate-he had climbed it. So, at least I know when he's scared he can still get out.

LeoChic · June 2009

I forgot to add in my explanation that we actually did use the baby gate as well. But DD, being the good climber that she is, was scaling every baby gate that we used.

After a while, the whole thing became a big battle of wills. Frankly, I was not OK with having a multiple hour long battle of wills with my 18 month old. And on a side note, I had multiple pedi's (both in the office I went to) and in my MOM's group that actually recommended the lock.

magnoliablossom · June 2009

We didn't lock or put a gate up on C's door because she was very good from the beginning about staying in her room/bed. Of course we didn't transition her to a big girl bed until she was 3.5 years old so that may have something to do with it.

Now when A is old enough, I imagine we will probably have to put up something to keep her in her room. I don't want her wandering the halls and getting hurt in the middle of the night and she seems the type to do that.

As for getting up when your child wakes up; I don't. They sing songs, read books or whatever until I come and get them at 7:30. Sometimes they may wake up at 6:00, but I still don't go and get them and they usually fall back to sleep. I only go to them if they are crying which is only if they are sick. Otherwise they know to stay there until I come and get them. I usually get up at 6:30 to shower, do my hair and put on makeup, make breakfast and then I will go get them.

ppants · June 2009

I have a child's safety lock on the inside of their door and always have. We live a 1 1/2 story home with our bedrooms upstairs so when they were in their cribs they couldn't fall downstairs if they climbed out.

They are 3 now and still share a room and are in toddler beds. We have a reward chart so they stay in their beds, but I prefer that they can't leave their room for safety reasons. They sleep with their down shut and always have.

knmommy · June 2009

I won't ever put a lock on the outside of my childs door, I don't think that is safe at all. I don't see a problem with the gate though.

gracendantho26 · June 2009

Wow this is the craziest thread ever. LOL

I am with you. We did not do locks etc. My kids stay in their beds unless they have to pee, have a nightmare of every so often have growing pains. And if it's one of those three things I would want them to come in and get us...better than peeing their bed or being scared or in pain trapped in their rooms. Generally we all sleep through the night. Big Smile

xbrooklyngrl · June 2009

gracendantho26:

Wow this is the craziest thread ever. LOL

I am with you. We did not do locks etc. My kids stay in their beds unless they have to pee, have a nightmare of every so often have growing pains. And if it's one of those three things I would want them to come in and get us...better than peeing their bed or being scared or in pain trapped in their rooms. Generally we all sleep through the night.

Ditto this!

I don't lock B's door either and knock on wood she doesn't even attempt to get out of bed.

Kapalua · June 2009

Andrewsgal:
Call me a horrible Mom I put a child proof door knob on the inside of DD's door. I did it mainly for safety reasons (so she did not leave her room in the middle of the night), but I do think it helped because she realized that she could not get out so why try. It was the easiest transistion ever, and I think that is why. Bad Mom here!

This.

We never had an issue with him getting out of bed, but our stairs are not really gate-able and I was afraid he would get up in the night and fall by accident.

wifetoawookie · June 2009

Welllllll, I guess I am a bad Mom too. DD has a knob cover on the inside of her door so she can't get out. My reasoning was more because I don't want her to wake in the middle of the night and roam around the house. I am a very sound sleeper and have been terrified this would happen since we moved her to a toddler bed. Huh?

mikeandmonica · June 2009

We took the door off and put a baby gate up (the walk through kind so we don't have to step over it all the time). The only reason we took the door off was because DS1 kept trying to shut the door and it was going to get broken off the hinges with the gate there. But it works great because we can see him/know he is in there and not worry about him wandering the house at night. He can also go in there and play if he wants to get away from DS2 and we still can hear him/see him easily. But a LOCK on a closed door? That scares me too much. Edit to add: Okay - I just realized after reading all the other responses that a gate is doing basically the same thing as the lock, and it is more the closed door that freaks me out. I just want to make sure we have quick/easy access to DS when we need it. When I was thinking of a lock on theoutside of the door, I was thinking of like a latch/eyehook type thing - so then I was thinking that it would be dangerous in a fire/etc. - with people trying to get in. I wasn't thinking of the child safe knobs and stuff like that initially.

Alibabs · June 2009

My neighbour does this too. They are insane!! I wish they'd move. Sad

ETA - I should probably add that they're insane regardless of them locking their kids in their rooms.

I would never put a lock on a childs door. What if they needed to pee or were frightened or there was a fire? I want them to feel free to come in to us if they have a problem.

We have a gate on the top of the stairs that neither can open or climb over so they're free to roam around safely.

hopefulmom · June 2009

I'm just reading this now...but if any of you look back to see...it has been proven that a bedroom door should always be CLOSED for safety reasons in case of a fire. All of our bedroom doors have always been closed. As far as the safety doorknob...that is a good idea. My DS is still in the crib and I never had an issue with any of the other kids even thinking of getting out of bed (I moved them when they were 2 1/2 - 3)...but if I had to keep them in the room I'd use the safety knobs. In case of a fire I wouldn't want my child roaming around the halls where I can't find him.

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