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Do people really feel sorry for me??

cmj2003cmj2003
in Infertility

So I just got a text message from my BFF telling me she 'sure hopes she doesn't have to go through all this'...she said she would be afraid she would just say 'screw it...it's not worth it to me'.  I almost couldn't believe my eyes.  I responded by saying that once she and her DH decide it's time...she will not feel that way.  I told her my DH would do anything at this point to have a baby. 

She said she often wondered how she would deal with any of this.  I just told her that again, she would/will feel different once they decide it's time.  She then blew me away with, "I just feel so bad for you that you have to go through all this just to have a baby."  Does my BFF of 22 years really feel this way??  Am I totally blowing this out of proportion?  Do people really feel sorry for me?  Should I let them - I am not that kind of person.  There are so many of us that have/dealing with IF.  Do people really feel sorry for us?? 

I, privately, feel a lot of emotions...and sometimes talk to her about that...but I don't think I've ever given her a reason to feel sorry for me.  I have never asked anyone to feel sorry for me.  Okay, I'm done now. 

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Re: Do people really feel sorry for me??

  • EmptyOven25EmptyOven25
    Hmm...interesting question.  I think people do feel sorry for us, as I feel sorry for other IFers, because they know we would make good moms and they hate to see us have these problems.  I don't think it's a bad thing...it's not like they are pitying us or anything.  I think people naturally feel bad for someone they know is going through a difficult time.
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  • yodasmistressyodasmistress member
    Although being pitied isn't fun, you have to admit, IF is certainly a pitiable situation...
     
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  • BBLindyBBLindy

    I agree with the others.  I think they do feel sorry for us, just like I feel sorry for everyone going through IF.  At least in my situation I feel like my friends feel sorry for the pain I feel after trying for so long. 

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  • hopingforacanehopingforacane

    It sounds like she does feel sorry but I don't think that it should be taken in a bad way. I know that there is a social stigma with IF. I have had to tell friends and family that they shouldn't be expecting a baby shower for this gal for some times and they always say how sorry they are.

     Many people just see it as a bad thing when good people who want and deserve children can't have them. On the flip side, people who also should have kids also get the OMG! I am so sorry for that person behind their back. 

     In my opinon, I think that you should just take her words as sympathy and bypass the whole feeling sorry issue. But that is just my .02

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  • nyclisa78nyclisa78

    not a lot of people irl know about my if struggles. but i think they do feel "sorry" for me. not necessarily in a pitying kind of a way. just that this is so difficult for mh and i and we want a baby so badly, and they hate to see us struggle with something that comes so easy to others.

    i know my bff would love to wave her magic wand and make me pregnant, she hates to see me going through this. so i think your friend probably feels the same way she just didn't express it so eloquently.

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