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WWYD - family drama about allergies

eisenberg0814eisenberg0814
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

My husband's nephew (4 years) has bad allergies against eggs, wheat, fish etc. On Sunday we are hosting a Father's Day party which doubles as a birthday party for my SIL. I ordered a B&J ice cream cake for her and now my DH gets yelled at why we would order an ice cream cake if we know that he is coming. I mean, they yelled at us because we wanted to have a fish course at our wedding!!!! Its not that his allergies gets triggered when he is in the same room, but he might ask to eat something from it and then they have to say no to it. I understand not wanting to single out your child, but 1) what are you teaching him and 2) we have 20 other people coming who would love some cake! Why not bring something special for desert for him??? I dont get it!  So, I have to cancel the cake, because DH does not want to get involved.... Angry

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Re: WWYD - family drama about allergies

  • mabst196mabst196 member
    Don't cancel the cake. It's your party. Tell them to bring something he can have.
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  • mrskadamsmrskadams

    Do not cancel that cake!  Maybe you could get something the nephew could eat?  That would be a really kind gesture towards people who are being rude.  News flash-the world does not revolve around their kid.  Honestly, having allergies suck, but the parents need to effectively monitor their child.  They don't have to come.

    My kids are diabetic.  There were always things they couldn't eat.  Yeah, it sucked and it wasn't fair.  I told them as much.  BUT, I told them that is life!  It's okay to be mad about those things, it's totally normal.  However, they had to accept it and make the best of it.

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  • eisenberg0814eisenberg0814
    Another example - the father of the kid with allergies screamed at his SIL for ordering HER OWN kids dessert in a restaurant while they were on vacation together. He flipped out.
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  • smfinallymgsmfinallymg

     Don't cancel your cake!

    We have a cousin who has a horrible peanut allergy. He's 8. His parents would never expect us to not have something just because he can't have it. They usually bring something that he can eat as an alternative. At an early age, they taught him to ask if he can have something before taking it.

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  • jaejaeveejaejaevee
    That is ridiculous. Don't cancel the cake.  My nephew is allergic to all kinds of things and my sister would NEVER ask someone to do that.  She just tells him he can't have whatever it is and finds him something he likes that he can have.
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  • ToosdaiToosdai member

    Do not cancel the cake! Can you find a special cake just for him?

    He needs to learn that he has allergies and has different dietary needs because of it. I bet these people are those who never tell their children 'No' because it might hurt their widdle feewings. WTFH?

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  • ash2ash2 member
    I definitely would not cancel the cake. My DH has severe allergies to shellfish and Old Bay. Considering we live in MD, Old Bay is used everywhere. The shellfish isn't a big deal, he just doesn't eat it. But the Old Bay gets into the air. There have been many times when we couldn't attend an event because of his allergies, but that's the way it goes. He would never expect someone to not have something that he is allergic to. It wouldn't be fair to everyone else.
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  • Erika6504Erika6504

    Keep the cake!  If their son is allergic to all of those things, I bet they have an alternative that they could bring for him.

    My cousin's DD is allergic to milk, eggs, and a bunch of other stuff.  She's either 4 or 5.  If she wants something she knows that it's off limits if it has eggs.  She'll specifically ask if there are eggs in it.  That being said, my cousin will make a batch of cupcakes that her DD is able to eat and keep them in the freezer.  If there is a b-day or something at her school, the teacher will tell my cousin the day before so that she can send a special cupcake with her DD.

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  • adamwifeadamwife
    My son is allergic to everything - eggs, milk, soy, peanuts, tomatoes and pineapple. I never expect people to have food there for us or avoid foods because of us.  I always bring my own food for DS.
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  • Brookie-CookieBrookie-Cookie

    don't cancel.  If you were hosting a party FOR the nephew I would expect that the cake be something he could eat.  He is a guest, not the guest of honour.  The Mom should provide food for him.  It would be a nice gesture to have something special for him but I think just giving your SIL the heads up in advance so she can bring something for him is good enough.

    As much as it sucks, the kid needs to learn that he can't eat the same things as everyone else and the whole world isn't going to cater to him.

    Nothing pissed me off more than when I worked in the restaurant industry and people had allergies.  If you or your kid are going to die from some sort of cross contamination, pack your own food FFS. 

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  • adamwifeadamwife
    imageBrookie-Cookie:

    Nothing pissed me off more than when I worked in the restaurant industry and people had allergies.  If you or your kid are going to die from some sort of cross contamination, pack your own food FFS. 

    As a parent of one of those kids -  I never trust anyone to make his food but DH and I.  Not even grandparents, let alone people at a restaurant. I wouldn't think there are many out there that would!

    I, however, have a soy intolerance that flares my Crohn's Disease and am one of those annoying patrons that will ask for things to be prepared without soy.  But I usually call ahead to make sure it is in option first.

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  • Mrs.McLovinMrs.McLovin member

    Keep the cake. The parents are absurd to expect the world to revolve around their child. It would be a nice gesture to have a special dessert for that child.

     

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