do you tell ppl about bump?

soontobemrsvega · June 2009

A friend from high school messaged me on MySpace that I haven?t talked to since 10th grade. So she didn't know bout my losses. Well we started talking bout what?s new and she is getting married next year, so we start talking about married life and what not. Then she says she really just wants to have kids. Im thinking to myself o god please don?t start this. She asks if we were going to start having kids. I told her we haven?t had luck in the baby dept. Well come to find out neither has she!! She had a mc last month. So then we started talking about that. Part of me wanted to tell her about bump and the other part just wanted to keep my mouth shut. lol I feel like if I had IRL friends on here I would have to watch what I say. Know what I mean? So am I just a selfish brat who wants you all to myself or have you thought the same thing?

attyalice · June 2009

I totally feel the same way so if it is selfish ..... there are two of us:)

Cow-girl · June 2009

Nope I agree with your reasons 100% I might be embarassed if IRL people read some of the things we talk about. LOL....

MrsEzStar · June 2009

NO! I go here to get away from my IRL friends!

~HopeAndFaith~ · June 2009

I do not tell anyone. I must admit I'm ashamed about my troubles with TTC.

Someone once posted about asking the technician prior to an u/s if the lubricant was sperm friendly. Well, I never forgot that post, and when I went into for an u/s I asked the technician about the lubricant. She told me to stay off the message boards. I wanted to die!

myafoo · June 2009

I don't. I guess because I treat it to be confidential like any other IRL support group would be. However, If I found someone close to me could benefit from it, I would introduce them to it. JMO

kwatkins86 · June 2009

This one is kinda tough, but I have a suggestion: get a separate email address that you use for the bump, but do not give it to her, that way it's still anonymous. I would recommend it though, it's been very helpful.

attyalice · June 2009

~HopeAndFaith~:

I do not tell anyone. I must admit I'm ashamed about my troubles with TTC.

Someone once posted about asking the technician prior to an u/s if the lubricant was sperm friendly. Well, I never forgot that post, and when I went into for an u/s I asked the technician about the lubricant. She told me to stay off the message boards. I wanted to die!

Just for the record... that wasn't a stupid question. I O'ed on the day of my last follie check and DCA (the poster who is a ob resident) confirmed that the jelly could have been hostile to the spermies. Some doctors/their offices may not be super friendly about the questions this board generates... but I think the knowledge is power.

MrsEzStar · June 2009

Knowlege is POWER!

Amen!

I have learned a lot from you girls!

lil_rhody · June 2009

I would not. It's one of the reasons I prefer to stay anonymous on here. If I knew someone was having real difficulties, I might refer them, but I generally am a very quiet person and would not share these sorts of things with people I knew IRL.

teppy2008 · June 2009

I also do not tell my IRL friends about this board. In fact, I used to be on here under a different screen name that included my name, plus I had a picture of me in my siggy. I was on the 1st trimester board and got an email from a sort-of friend who saw me on there and just wanted to tell me congratulations on the pregnancy. (She was pregnant too but I didn't know it til then). When I had the miscarriage, it was just one more person I had to tell that we had lost the baby. So, I changed my screen name to something other people would not likely recognize and now feel able to share whatever I want on here without concern that it will get back to people I know IRL. So, I don't think it's selfish at all. you will tell your IRL friends what you want to on your time and can still use this board to ask things and tell things you might not otherwise have anyone you feel comfortable talking about.

soontobemrsvega · June 2009

glad to see its not just me!! lol thanks i dont feel bad now Big Smile

candlcrazee · June 2009

MrsEzStar:

Knowlege is POWER!

Amen!

I have learned a lot from you girls!

This

KelinandKevin · June 2009

The only IRL person that knows about me bumping is my DH. He thinks its great. I work from home and am getting my Master's online, so I don't get as much interaction as I used to. Plus, we don't have many friends in the area. All of our friends are out of state.

I also agree that knowledge is power. No such thing as a stupid question (unless you ask it more than once). :P

soontobemrsvega · June 2009

~HopeAndFaith~:

I do not tell anyone. I must admit I'm ashamed about my troubles with TTC.

Someone once posted about asking the technician prior to an u/s if the lubricant was sperm friendly. Well, I never forgot that post, and when I went into for an u/s I asked the technician about the lubricant. She told me to stay off the message boards. I wanted to die!

lol too funny! they tell you when you are ttc not to use lube anyway so i probably would have asked the same thing.

MsZoeB · June 2009

I invited an IRL friend to the Bump. She suffered a terrible loss over a year ago and is starting to try again. She is part of several message boards but says that they are downers. Now that she is ready to try again I said this might be a better place.

But I know that she is someone that would "get it" and since I don't have anyone IRL that I can talk to about this stuff it might open that door easier.

I have another friend that was on and we discovered each other. It actually brought us closer. We don't live near each other anymore so that is gone but it was still fun.

KateAndMark · June 2009

I don't tell people about it. The only ones who know I'm on here is my parents, DH, and DH's parents.

suntoto@gmail.com · June 2009

~HopeAndFaith~:
I do not tell anyone. I must admit I'm ashamed about my troubles with TTC.

Someone once posted about asking the technician prior to an u/s if the lubricant was sperm friendly. Well, I never forgot that post, and when I went into for an u/s I asked the technician about the lubricant. She told me to stay off the message boards. I wanted to die!

You should not be ashamed about your TTC journey it is a part of life and there are so many reasons why things like this happen. Life is not always fair.

IMHO women are way too hard on themselves about TTC and internalize more then they should.

Addicted2thenot · June 2009

Yes, it has been a big help to me & my friend's all know it.

I learned so much while I was PG with DS so I tell anyone I know who is PG to go to thebump.com as a matter of fact I just told DH's PG cousin today.

I met my IRL closest GF on thenest (before thebump existed) while we were PG .. We were PG at the same time & living in the same neighborhood two minutes from each other, yet we met online. So she knows I bump.?

One of my GFs just had a baby this week & she bumps.

?

Strunella · June 2009

No, I don't tell anyone about these boards. When I want to reference something, I just call it, "Message Board." No specifics!

jen-dale · June 2009

One work person knows about bump but she is in her 3rd tri so I know she won't come over here. She isn't on very much either. I won't tell anyone else. I like my worlds to be apart. lol

1stTimeMommy2Be · June 2009

soontobemrsvega:
~HopeAndFaith~:

I do not tell anyone. I must admit I'm ashamed about my troubles with TTC.

Someone once posted about asking the technician prior to an u/s if the lubricant was sperm friendly. Well, I never forgot that post, and when I went into for an u/s I asked the technician about the lubricant. She told me to stay off the message boards. I wanted to die!

lol too funny! they tell you when you are ttc not to use lube anyway so i probably would have asked the same thing.

haha, we had that sexy party on sunday and of course all the other girls are asking questions about how long the lube lasts and whether it's oily... my question? Is it detrimental to sperm like KY? hahahahha

1stTimeMommy2Be · June 2009

i have one friend who is "on" it... the one from way back with the BOTB issue... anyway, i think she's posted online like 20 times ever? 16 or so of which were that night haha.. soooo nothing there... another girl at work (who doesn't work there anymore) is on.. in fact when i posted on the North FL board, she responded... it was generic though, so i don't think she knows it was me... i almost told her but decided against it.. one girl from college found me too butttt she hangs out on the nest mostly.. and the only person she would tell was my college roomie whom i wouldn't mind knowing... and she wouldn't have anyone else to tell sooo no worries...

i tell people that i've found an amazing board and that it has really helped me but that's it... if they ask, i might tell them, but to be honest, i don't know anyone else my age or close to me that has had a m/c other than my mom...

funny story about drs and message boards... i told the girl who gave me the transvaginal u/s what the girls on first tri called it and she about died laughing.. "dildo-cam" haha

Mrs.EmmaLouise · June 2009

I have two friends who suffered losses after Ifound thebumps loss board and ttcal board. One I recommended to come here- she found it very helpful. I dont think she posted, but said it was helpful to read other peoples stories, and questions. She since foudn out she m/c'ed a twin, but that baby A was still doing well (shes due in july).

My other friend just had her second ectopic. And while I love her dearly, wouldnt send her this way. Im not sure why... I just think she might htink Im crazy. Even though we are good friends, I think she would judge me.

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