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resenting DH a little...

CalifragilisticCalifragilistic member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
I love him dearly....the baby loves him...he loves the baby...but I cant help but resent him a little since it still feels like Im the only one "giving up" things.  When I was pg I felt like I was giving up everything (which was ok bc it was for LO)--my body, going out sometimes bc I was too tired or giant etc and figured when I had the baby we would both be on the same level again but he works and I dont right now so its like I wake up with the baby everytime, I always change her, I always feed her...i love doing it but even when he is home just on the computer or watching tv he assumes Ill do those things. I just wish he would jump in--i know he is tired from work and I appareciate how hard he works but he clearly has no concept of what i do all day. I think he thinks Im napping and hanging out when most of the day Im either pumping, feeding her, changing her, rocking her etc.. Idk...just a little vent felt necessary.
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Re: resenting DH a little...

  • megpyesmegpyes

    ditto- every word

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  • babymindedbabyminded
    You're allowed...even when they "want" to help, it's not always practially.  And DH totally does not understand what it's like at home and why I don't have all day to cook and clean.  Grr...
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  • superisa00superisa00
    You need to have a talk with him ASAP. Let him know what all you do all day and that you also need a break because right now you are working 24/7. Let him know that you are giving up your nights to take care of LO so that he can sleep for work, but that it would help you out immensely if he took some of the feedings/changings in the evenings or whenever he is not at work. My DH was this way as well until I told him how exhausted I was because I was getting no breaks. Now he comes home from work and takes DS for a couple hours so that I can take a nap, do things around the house, run to the store, etc. You will get to your breaking point like I did so its better to have this discussion now before you are hysterically crying and braindead from exhaustion like I was. GL
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  • pinkbride07pinkbride07
    same here!!
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  • CalifragilisticCalifragilistic member

    imagebabyminded:
    You're allowed...even when they "want" to help, it's not always practially.  And DH totally does not understand what it's like at home and why I don't have all day to cook and clean.  Grr...

    yes! he was so confused yesterday why I didnt make dinner! good to know H isnt the only man who doesnt get how important/demanding our jobs at home are

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  • JennilynnJennilynn
    When they get older it seems like it gets better. DS only takes a 3rd of the time to eat, pumping takes 5 mins... And ask him to do a diaper change here and there. Get out of the house on your own, even if its to run an errand when DH gets home. Little things like that help a lot. I was miserable for about a week right where you are, and everyone kept telling me it gets better and I almost gave up BFing because he took so long to eat I felt like all I did all day was sit on the couch and try to keep him awake enough to eat. But hang in there and it does get better.
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  • pete0121pete0121 member
    I had to lay it out hardcore to my DH once he went back to work.  I said that I work every day too taking care of DS and its hard.  His work is hard, but he gets away from it all and is around adults and others.  You need to talk to him and let him know you need his help when he's home.
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  • flyrsgirl1flyrsgirl1
    Wow I feel the same way!  DH still gets to go do fun things...like his softball league.  I don't get out ever.  I used to love to go dance, no can do now!  My social life is over for now.  Maybe when LO gets older it will get better, but I doubt it.
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