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I also don't know how to act around SIL

iris427iris427 member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months
On the one hand, she is trying to get clean and I want to support that. OTOH I don't want to act like this is no big deal, just a little mistake,, etc. MIL had us sign some cards to cheer her up in rehab and I felt very uneasy signing them. Making her feel like crap won't really help. But she lied repeatedly and put her child at serious risk and I don't feel like I can ever trust her again.
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Big sister {September 2008} Sweet boy {April 2011} Fuzzy Bundle {ETA July 2014}

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Re: I also don't know how to act around SIL

  • chloeelynchloeelyn
    I just wanted to say I follow your blog and love the name and think your daughter is so beautiful!
    Natural M/C:@5 wks 7/31/07 Natural M/C:@5 wks 12/27/09 Missed M/C, D&C:@9 wks 06/13/11
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  • *blondiem**blondiem*

    It's really tough dealing with a family member that has made horrible, terrible mistakes. I think you and I need to FB chat about this, because I am having similar issues with my sister (as you know, I think)

    It's like, how do you tread lightly when you have lost trust in someone that you really care deeply about?? 

    I think right now, it's wise to support her during her rehab stint, and when the time comes, maybe you can voice your opinion. I am sure she is realizing in rehab, how awful her mistakes have been, and how long term the effects will be on her sweet baby.  These are all realizations that she will need to make on her own, though. Whatever you think or say, won't get through her head. She needs to figure this out on her own (something I am having a hard time with right now. )

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  • J+OJ+O
    Anyone who abuses drugs thinks of only one person at the time- him/herself. ?It's selfish and they don't realize what they're doing. ?Most of the time it's self medicate because they can't cope with something. ?And I know it's hard, but if she's in rehab because SHE WANTS to be there... that's awesome. ?If she's being forced, it will never work. ?I hope to God she gets clean. ?My brother has been through that, obviously- he didn't have a baby inside of him but during all his craziness he did get two women pregnant. ?He's clean now... but he's very immature still. ?That's another part of it all, the age they start drugs- is the age they are when they come off. ?Their mind stops growing... so whatever age she started- either a teenager or whatever- is how she'll act when she's off of the drugs. ?I hope everything works out for that baby.?
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  • J+OJ+O
    image*blondiem*:

    I think right now, it's wise to support her during her rehab stint, and when the time comes, maybe you can voice your opinion.


    I agree with this. ?I talked to my brother about his actions when he was over a year sober and I thought mentally stable to hear what I had to say. ?He took it pretty hard too. ?I basically just told him how he hurt me and the family. ?He was making light of it all and I wanted him to know what we went through.?
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  • iris427iris427 member
    Thanks ladies. You are both so right. Blondie, we should chat sometime for sure--I''m sorry you are dealing with similar issues.
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    Big sister {September 2008} Sweet boy {April 2011} Fuzzy Bundle {ETA July 2014}

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