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Feeling guilty for having another baby

sdrakesdrake member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

I'm just one of those planner/control type people and my 'plan' was to start trying to have another baby in December or later, but 'it just happened' last month and now we're having #2. DS is only 11 months old. I'm just feeling guilty for him that I'm not going to be able to give him the attention he needs as a toddler and that he'll still need so much of my attention at that time. I'm feeling terrible for not being excited about it as I should be.  My husband's excited because he wants the kids close together, but I'm a bit nervous and freaked out and well, just plain feeling sorry for DS. I'm sure this will pass :(

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Re: Feeling guilty for having another baby

  • homerrrhomerrr
    We're TTC #2, and I'm already feeling guilty. Heck...I'm feeling guilty about TRYING - not even about an actual BFP. I feel your pain. Congrats though. It'll be amazing when it all happens, and you'll do great.
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  • rynhalesrynhales

    He will never know the difference. =) It's not like he

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  • rynhalesrynhales

    He will never know the difference. =) It's not like he

    5
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  • rynhalesrynhales

    He will never know the difference. =) It's not like he 5

    and
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  • happytobemrs.mhappytobemrs.m
    I hate to sound totally cliche-- but here I go. It must have happened for a reason. I am sure this is just some cold feet that may pass. I actually am battling with wanting to try for #2 and also wanting to wait. There are plus and minuses on both sides. I think overall you'll have a rough few months at first but in the end you might be happier with them closer together. Check out the Two under two board and it may make you feel a bit better. Good luck.
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  • ErinNConnorsMomErinNConnorsMom
    A lot happens in 8 mos.  Your ds will be a lot more independent by the time the baby comes.  He'll never remember life without his little brother or sister, and I promise you, a sibling is the best gift you can give your little guy!  Congrats!
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  • lauren216lauren216
    Oh Hugs!!  I am not pregnant right now ,but when we've talked about it I've had feelings like your describing. but you love your DS and you will make it work for you guys. Yes it will be hard to give attention to a new baby and a toddler, but people do it, and you'll be fine. Your Ds will adore his new sibling, and have a playmate in a few short months. I'm also sure that your feeling all emotional  b/c your pregnant and it will pass! Enjoy your pregnancy and remember your DS is getting a sibling, thats an awesome present from his parents!!!! Feel better
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  • MrsPedersenMrsPedersen member
    I think this is completely normal. My MIL told us that when she found out she was pg with my SIL she cried because she didn't think she could love someone as much as my DH and was scared to not be able to give him the attention he deserved. From what I hear you love all your children and have room in your life for all of them Big Smile
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  • Aimee810Aimee810
    I felt the same way when we scheduled a frozen embryo transfer in Feb when DD was only 5mo old. I will be 40 in August so I felt my clock was ticking. The babies would have been 14mo apart. Low and behold God had different plans for us when we lost our precious baby girl @ 18w. So I guess I have that extra time with DD that I was so worried I wouldn't have.  
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  • TelycoTelyco
    I could have written that. I am sure, a few years from now, I will not want it any other way....but now, I can't help but think otherwise.
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  • sunnygirl05sunnygirl05

    My dh and I felt the SAME way when we found out I was pregnant with #2.  My son was 11 months at the time.  It was not planned at all.  I was actually on the pill and nine weeks along when we found out!!   We wanted to have another but didn't plan on it being so soon after having our first.  Anyways, we felt guilty like we were taking away from our son.  What I can tell you though is that the feeling passes!!  Now I feel like it was meant to happen this way. 

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  • Buckets of MoonbeamsBuckets of Moonbeams

    I feel guilty already because we plan to start going for #2 in 6 months.  (Wee!)  I'm going to miss Kate being my only baby, and being able to devote 100% of my time to her; on the flipside, I'm going to feel guilty about not being able to devote all of my time to the next baby, and stare lovingly into her/his face all day like I did K (LOL.)  I think it's normal mom guilt.  Try not to dwell on it.

    And H&H pregnancy to you!

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