My parents are getting divorced... After 30+ years of marriage.

acia · June 2009

This is so not baby related, but just wanted to vent... My dad called me last night and told me that my parents are officially splitting up. They've been living apart for the past 3 months, but both of them kept telling me it was just to "clear their heads" and "get some perspective." My dad wasn't happy and my mom was just too busy with her own life to pay any attention to my dad. But it seemed like they were going to work it out (they were in counselling and still talking every day).

Anyways, now my dad calls me and tells me they're going to make it offical, and oh, by the way, he's been seeing someone else for the last couple months. And they're "in love." And she's 32. Which is only 5 years older than me. And 25 years younger than my dad. Wow. I think I'm still in shock - and I'm really hurt, too, because I've asked him a number of times if we was seeing someone else and he always said no. He apologized for lying, and I know he feels bad, but wow, just wow... I'm so sad, and confused, and completely overwhelmed with emotion right now.

It really makes me appreciate the relationship I have with DH, and realize that it takes a lot of work to keep a marriage functional and happy. I don't want to end up like them in 30 years, or take even a second of this marriage for granted...

Soon2BMrsN · June 2009

I am so sorry you are going through this.

AMYfromKY · June 2009

I'm sorry that's hard. I would be so angry with my dad. I cannot stand people lying to me.

deb2126 · June 2009

I'm really sorry that you're hurting

Lopo · June 2009

Oh no! I'm so sorry!

nofreespeeches · June 2009

i'm sorry hun.

::hugs::

edwins_girl · June 2009

I'm so sorry you have to go through this right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Junebug0617 · June 2009

I'm so sorry! It's hard to remember parents are humans too. Take care of yourself. {{HUGS}}

McKenna81 · June 2009

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I can relate, my parents separated and then divorced after 25 years of marriage. It's rough, at any age. And accepting new parents' new significant others can be a little tricky.

Definitely hear what you're saying about divorcing parents being a reminder of how much work marriage takes -- it's important to remember that, and try to learn from the mistakes they may have made in their relationship. At the same time, remember not to project their marital problems onto your own marriage.

Hang in there!

BeanieWeanie · June 2009

My parents had a blip like this last year (still sort of on-going, to a lesser degree). It's really tough - so sorry you're going through it, especially now. It seems like the 30 year mark spells problems for a lot of couples - my in-laws, grandparents (both sets) and best friends' parents also had issues at that stage. Try to learn from their mistakes - that's all I took from my folks' issues. Good luck!

ShianneKrogman · June 2009

I'm so sorry. You don't need this kind of stress so far into your pregnancy.

My parents have been married for 35 years and I can't imagine what feelings I would be having after hearing they were getting divorced.

It's nice to hear that it makes you know how good you have it with your DH and that you know how much work it takes to keep a marriage going. Unfortunatly a lot of people think that all you need is love. Ask anyone who has been married more than 20 years. I betcha they would disagree.

I hope they keep things civil and it is as amicable as possible. We are all here to listen if you need to vent.

orleyl · June 2009

I am sorry, I know how hard it is. My parents divorced last year after 33 years. I found out my dad cheated on my mom and he was a total a**hole thru the whole divorce. I no longer have a relationship with my father, I dont even know if he knows I am pregnant. It sounds like u have a good relationship with your father and it sounds like they tried. Hopefully the divorce is amicable so its easier on you.

orion09 · June 2009

sorry you're having to go through this... ::hugs::

theduck808 · June 2009

so sorry to read this sad news

one_more_girl · June 2009

I went through the exact same thing last year, so I completely empathize. My parents had been together for 31 years. My mom too did not make time for my dad. They both put me in the middle of things and I heard different sides of the story. I lost a lot of respect for my mom for how she handled things and we are still trying to repair our relationship. The best advice I can give is to not take sides and if one of them is trying to get you to do so just tell them that you are uncomfortable with the situation and want to remain as unbiased as possible as they are both your parents and you love them both. It is very hard to deal with at any age. I am very sorry that you have to go through this. Just know that eventually it will get easier for everyone involved, but it does take time

heatherlane · June 2009

Sorry.

I think you have a great perspective on it...DH's parents divorced after 25+ years just before we met. He had a hard time committing, so we try really hard to communicate better.

FrickandFrack · June 2009

I'm so sorry. What a tough thing to have to deal with right now.

hula_lula · June 2009

I'm sorry. My parents just split up a few years ago after almost 25 years married and my dad remarried within a year later. It was a very weird transition to go through when I was married with a child myself.

chyscottbaby · June 2009

I am so sorry you have to go through this. You are in my thoughts.

kristin329 · June 2009

OMG!!! I would be devestated. My parents have been married for 40 years, if I got that call I would be floored. Then to boot dating a 32 year old. YIKES.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope your mom is ok.

sam19 · June 2009

I'm sorry. My dad is also dating a much younger woman. I think there is about a 25 year age difference there as well. It's really wierd and a little difficult to get over. I hope your parents can be cordial through this divorce for your sake and the sake of their new grand child. My parents get a long great even though they aren't together and it just makes everything so much easier.

ckmac · June 2009

I'm really sorry to hear you have to face this right now when you're pregnant. Parents divorcing is not easy no matter how old you are or what stage of life you're in. My parents were married for 30 years and decided to get divorced too. That was 3 years ago now, and it's still going on. It's been very painful and just like orleyl, I no longer have a relationship with my father either.

For some reason, when you're older, parents like to vent to their kids about their problems and get them WAY too involved. They think that since you're an adult, you can handle the details. Hopefully your parents won't do that to you. This isn't something you should have to be involved in. So do your best to not get pulled into any drama that may come up. It's not worth the stress. I just hope that it goes smooth and ends amicably.

Good luck

Kendall13 · June 2009

Yikes... I hear ya! After my parents split up my dad actually married a 25 year old. The relationship didn't last long, but we weren't even invited to the wedding!

People do weird things after they get out of a long marriage. Hopefully after this your dad will get everything out of his system and come back from fantasy land.

I'm sorry about your parents. Hopefully they will still remain civil for the sake of your family.

thatgirlang · June 2009

Wow- I am so sorry!! ((hugs))

boo98lu · June 2009

I am so sorry.. Sad

MuckDiva · June 2009

I am so sorry you have to go through this right now.

acia · June 2009

Thanks so much for all the kind words, ladies - I really appreciate it. I was feeling really down earlier and your thoughtful comments definitely helped make me feel better. And it's helpful to hear that others have gone through this similar experience....

Want a personalized experience?

My parents are getting divorced... After 30+ years of marriage.

Re: My parents are getting divorced... After 30+ years of marriage.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards