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3rd Trimester
mavilabride
member
Clicky Poll: Would you let your MIL clean your house?
mavilabride
member
Yesterday FMIL came by the house to pick up some furniture. On her way out she asked if we could make a copy of our house key so that she can come by while we are working and clean. She says that I'm going to have a lot of visitors and will need my home to be clean for them and she doesn't want me bending down or doing too much before the baby arrives. I ignored her but she called and asked again.
I don't know how I feel about it. Well...that's not true. I'm uncomfortable with the thought *but* when my mom visits, she automatically starts cleaning which I'm sure makes FI uncomfortable but he doesn't complain about it. So just wanted to get your thoughts...
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Re: Clicky Poll: Would you let your MIL clean your house?
I'd be very uncomfortable with that.
While it's a very, very nice thought, I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of anyone coming to clean my house
My mom has offered to do that while I'm on maternity leave/just home from the hospital- to come do laundry, etc. But the idea of my mom washing my husbands boxers.... skeeves me out
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When we lived in Milan (Italy) and MIL was just a 15 min drive away she used to clean our house when we were away or just too busy working. Sure, she doesn't clean it like I do but who's to complain when one offers to help? I was glad to have one less thing to worry about. Now we live half a planet away and I wish I had MIL or mom offer to clean for me.
I would take the offer, but that's just me!
I know!!! My mom usually visits and stays because she lives four hours away. We already know the drill: remove all undies from the laundry room because there is no stopping that woman from doing laundry. Even if we tell her not to, she'll wait until I'm in the shower and FI is out doing something to get it all started.
Abso-freaking-loutely. I am a terrible housekeeper and would let anyone clean my house at any time.
But, besides that, I think this is a really, really common thing that women did. When a friend/family member was pregnant or had a new baby, the mom(s) come over and help to clean the house, cook meals, etc in order to give the mom a break & one less thing to worry about.
Every time we see/talk to my MIL she offers to clean our house. It makes me uncomfortable since, for one, I am a control freak and I just don't like people all up in my things, and second, I prefer if she is a guest in my house that she not feel obligated to clean.
Don't know how to break it to her tactfully that, however generous her offer, my answer is still "no".
My MIL was a homemaker & it is just second nature to her. She likes to do it & is good at is so I say SCRUB ON MOM! The only thing she isn't allowed to touch is my laundry. I am the only one who does my laundry.
This brings back bad memories of the time ILs came down to visit us for a long weekend in the spring & they cleaned while we were at work & we could not find ANYTHING after that! lol They would also put stuff from the dishwasher away in the wrong places & I about went insane. I know they were just trying to help & I did appreciate that but it was a little bit frustrating that they put stuff away in random places so we couldn't find things that we normally leave out or had left out for a purpose because we'd be needing it soon.
On that note, I voted that I would give her specific tasks if she wanted to help so badly but not leave a key! lol
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three
ditto and ditto.
My answer is mixed on this one. If my MIL was offering to help me clean to save me from bending down and just to be nice, I might feel more comfortable with allowing her to help me clean (I would never leave her a key though...I would ask her to come over while one of us was home). This is a big "might" though...I don't like anyone else cleaning my house for me...I know she would do a good job, but I don't know if I would be altogether comfortable with it.
However, you said that she wants to do this because your house needs to be clean for the visitors you will be getting. This sounds just like my MIL....in other words, SHE would be embarassed to have YOUR house be somewhat dirty for when visitors come over (if I am understanding what you said correctly). Umm, hello, you just had a baby! No visitors should be expecting your house to be perfectly clean! You have slightly more important things to worry about....not whether or not the windows are clean. So with this reasoning, I would say absolutely not, and tell her that the house is just fine for any visitors that may come.
My MIL told me that I had better start making cookies now to freeze them so that I have something to offer my visitors when they come to see the baby....these people have another thing coming if they think I will be providing them with refreshments when I have a newborn to take care of! Of course, if I don't have anything to offer people, this will mortify my MIL....which is reason in itself to not have anything prepared for people
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When we were moving, she came over to help clean our apartment. It was alright - though every 5 minutes or so, she'd holler my name from the next room to ask about something inane. Drove me crazy, because I was busy trying to pack AND clean AND keep the cat calm.?
She's coming in for her visit (dun dun dunnn!!!) - DH is all beaming and glowing how she's going to help. ?If I'm recovering/breastfeeding and she hollers my name over and over, I just might scream. So we shall see how this MIL help pans out.?
OMG...this so happened to me after we had a birthday party at my house and had the family over. It was nice of the offer to help, but yikes! I still can't find some stuff I used to use all the time. Makes me crazy!!
I picked other. I would probably let my MIL do that, although I might tell her I would rather her stick to common areas.
But you said "I'm really uncomfortable with that" so in your situation, I'd simply say, "thanks for offering, but I'm an adult and I think I can handle it...feel free to bring dinner any time since you know I can't cook!"
Nope. Never ever. I would also be annoyed that she would ask. I would take it as her saying that my hosue isn't clean enough. This all stems from when my H lived in CA and my in-laws came to stay with us for a week. We were in a rental and you know how they never look clean CLEAN. We spent forever cleaning and the place looked great. My freakin' in-laws had my H take them to the store about an hour after he picked them up at LAX, so they could buy cleaning products and they re-cleaned the bathroom and bedroom where they were staying. I was livid. Who does that?
My Mom also never cleans when she comes to visit. There are boundaries....
I wouldn't want her in our bedroom, but other than that - heck yeah!! My MIL is going to watch LO 2 days / week and I've secretly been hoping that maybe she'll do a little vaccuming and laundry while we're working (how terrible is that!!)
Nice an opening to rant...
My MIL came last weekend to help out while I am on bedrest. I said great I need to hang his curtains and wanted to get flowers planted in our window box of sticks. Turned out she stayed HERE for 3 nights and just Vaccumed everything for hours and hours. I told her not to clean my sheets since dh did them 4 days earlier. While I was on the couch so she could vaccum the bedroom she FRICKIN cleaned my sheets, I came to get back in bed an hour later and couldnt because they were in the dryer.
We had to go back to the hospital on saturday and while we were there she cleaned out our fridge. Getting rid of everything my husband put in tupperware to freeze, and food that had not gone bad like 6 eggs because there was another full newer carton. She also re arranged my bedroom furnature (switched out a night stand for a larger table )
She never planted the flowers or hung the curtains. And I dont know why she vaccumed our hardwood floors in the first place.
I would let my hypothetical mother in law clean my house, but my real one doesn't do a lot of cleaning. However, my husband's mother in law (Yeah, that would be my mom) has actually moved in with us and does a lot of the cleaning. (I've only washed the dishes once in 3 weeks! And DH does laundry, so I haven't done that in over two years!) My mom is going to stay with us until we finish building her house this summer and I am thrilled to have her put her cleaning skills to good use.
Also, my biological father's girlfriend (can you wrap your head around that one? Families can be very interesting.) loves cleaning and keeps asking when she can come and deep clean my house. I'm all for it. This way, I can focus on other things and still have a neat house when baby gets here.
I'll be honest. My mom cleans my house. It's something she likes to do and I never ever ask her. She will call occasionally and ask if I want my house cleaned. I never tell her no and I appreciate it so much.
My own MIL? No, I wouldn't let her (and she wouldn't ever think of it). But if I had a different relationship with her than I actually do, yes I would.
Mama Jan's Kitchen... a food blog
LOL!!
Mama Jan's Kitchen... a food blog
This 100%.
No way! My BF offered to come and clean since I'm on bedrest. I reluctantly agreed, but DH put his foot down and said no. (Bless him).
I might let my sisters clean if they lived nearby, but not my mom nor my MIL.
FWIW - a few years ago, DH and I rented a house when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant. MIL and SIL insisted on coming down and helping me clean the kitchen before we moved in. Even though they weren't messing with my stuff, they were forcing themselves in on my space. I appreciated the thought behind the gesture...but would have been OK with the gesture remaining a thought.
lol-- this is what I thought immediately in response to the question. (How she cleans: sends stuff DH will never need or use again home with him when he visits. I hate hearing the line, "Oh, I was down in the basement/up in the attic and I found..." b/c it means that a load of crap is coming to our house.) That, and she'll never ever make the 45-minute drive to visit anyway.