Shocking news. Change in plan.

sunnybrook. · June 2009

Insomnia has hit, so I thought I'd provide an update.

I had my first u/s. My doctor's office messed up and didn't schedule it like they told me they had. Lucky for me, my DH is a doctor and was being trained on early pg u/s last week. I was able to be his "test subject" and have the u/s done. Twins!!! We are having twins!! It was wonderful to have just the two of us find out. I have my "formal" u/s this Wed at my doctor's office. We are praying that we see 2 beautiful heartbeats.

While we are excited, shocked, scared, etc, we are also disappointed that this means we can't adopt the sibling set. Since we still have our foster son who may or may not be reunited with his parents, this would be 5 children under 6....one with special needs.

I honestly was becoming hesitant about the adoption as we spent more time with the children. The little boy is suddenly angry with me. DH and I aren't sure if its b/c I redirected/corrected him when he was visiting or if he resents the attention DH gives me. He won't answer me or look at me. On top of this, his disease is worsening. He hasn't been able to control his legs for a long time, but now his arms and his ability to speak are affected. No one can figure out a diagnosis much less know his long term prognosis.

I feel sad and guilty that it didn't work out. I just know my limits and know that I cannot physically, mentally, and emotionally handle that many children and that level of need. I wish I could. I'm trying to focus on what we have though...a loving and beautiful toddler and two little ones on the way!

Honeydew1894 · June 2009

I am sorry that your adoption doesn't seem like it will work, but congrats on being pregnant! Twins!

RJMbim · June 2009

Congratulations on the pregnancy!

Don't feel guilty, you need to stay within your limits and only bite off what you know you can chew or nobody will be happy or thrive in the long run.

Definitely focus on what you have an enjoy it, congrats again!

LadyRed7 · June 2009

congrats on the twins, and you are a strong woman for knowing your own limits and taking responsibility. You never know what might happen in the future either! ;-)

sunnybrook. · June 2009

The children have no idea that their foster mom is not their forever mom. They have just been told that we are friends of "mom" and they are having play dates with our foster son. They never questioned it. I don't think it will affect them if we just continue to see them at foster parent activities. Thank goodness they had no other expectations!

MyColonyNJ · June 2009

wow - twins, great news. Don't feel guilty about not adopting the sibling set, you have to do what is best for your family.

Congrats again

CaptainSerious · June 2009

Congratulations! You must be so excited about your twins!

I know the moment is also bittersweet, but you are doing what's best for you, your husband, and all the children by honestly reflecting on your capabilities and not taking on more than you can handle. I know it hurts, but in the long run, it will be better for all of you. Hug those little ones extra tight, and know that you are giving them the best gift you can--the gift to find the right family, who will be able to care for them at the level they need.

BurkeJax · June 2009

Congrats on the twins! It sounds like you are making the best decision for your family and those children.

julandjo · June 2009

Wow, congrats! You must be over the moon with excitement! I echo everyone else's sentiments - you're absolutely doing the right thing by knowing your limitations, and staying within them.

pinkwedding05 · June 2009

That is amazing, B! I had a feeling you'd be making a twins post soon . I'm so sorry about the adoption, but I know you have made the best decision for your family and for those little ones. Please don't feel guilty. Their story isn't over yet.

Take care of yourself and update often! I am SO happy for you.