First month and already frustrated....

mrsP52908 · June 2009

Hi Ladies...I'm new to this posting thing but it seems that you guys seem to have been thru life!! I have been married a little over a year and we are "supposed" to be TTC. Husband not so thrilled about it and it's making me CRAAZZYY!! It seems to be the only thing I think about some days!! I'm past ready for this chapter in our lives. Any advice on how to "just let it happen?"

nlvaden · June 2009

Get into the back of the truck with a 6 pack.

iowandfw · June 2009

my advice (from a woman who has a 6 month old) if your husband is "less than thrilled about TTCing" wait till he is "thrilled". Pregnancy was tough, and having a newborn, now an infant is TOUGH! It takes a lot of work, and you want the man (or woman) in your life to be 100% on your side. Unless you are ok with a failed marriage, barely speaking relationship, and possible the only one in the house who gives a dam about the kid.

please keep those things in mind.....

war_eagle · June 2009

If you husband is not on board, you need to wait. ?It sucks, but find other hobbies to distract you. ?My big thing after we got married was decorating our house.

BoopADoopBetty · June 2009

by "let it happen" do you mean poking holes in condoms and 'forgetting' to take your birth control pills? If so I'm so totally CRAAZZYY too!!!!

Tim'sWifey · June 2009

Lay off your h, if he's not ready you can't make him be ready faster. ?Pressuring him will only make him shut down. ??

MrsErinnElizabeth · June 2009

Please let this be MUD. It is kind of boring here today.

dmogmo · June 2009

So...wait. This is your first month trying but your husband isn't on board yet?

athena83 · June 2009

You're not the only one who has been there, but I would def. find things to distract yourself, and meanwhile get healthy, save money, etc. Maybe happen to spend time around nieces and nephews, just let him see cute little kids and let him be ready. If you pressure him, or he thinks you are, he'll shut down in a heartbeat even if he wants kids. Maybe you could agree to drop it for 6 months, work on your marriage/finances/careers, etc. and then agree to discuss it after Christmas or something. It's very frustrating, but you'll need the patience for when you do have kids. Good luck.

athena83 · June 2009

And help me out here...how are you "supposed to be TTC" but husband isn't thrilled? Are you alone trying, or are you both trying? If that's the case and he isn't thrilled, get BC now. You don't want to risk your marriage for this. Chances are good he'll come around on his own in a year or two. Please don't do anything stupid.

mrsP52908 · June 2009

guess I should have told the long story....we have been together 10 years and I agreed to wait for a year after we got married. It's not that he doesn't want it....he's scared of the change. and he doesn't deal with changes well at all....it took us 9 years to get married. I'm not worried about things like a failed marriage...we've been thru plenty.....thanks for the advice...i think??

iowandfw · June 2009

I would still wait till he is 100% thrilled to be having sex for the purpose of making a baby. babies change EVERYTHING. the way you sleep, the way you communicate, the way you eat (its incredibly hard to prepare a 3 course meal everynight!)...the sex changes,,,finances...obligations....everything.

dmogmo · June 2009

Yea but if he's not ready then you need to wait until he is and work through that together.

Ashley Pharez · June 2009

Take it from me our pregnancy was unplanned and for most of the pregnancy my FI wasn't very supportive just because he was freaking out that he was going to be a dad and thought he had 9 months till his life officially ended. lol. ?He has completely changed since DS was born and is completely in love and a great Dad but there were times in my pregnancy that it was rough. ?Wait till he's ready.

catherinebyerly · June 2009

A few months ago I was in your shoes. Husband was not on board. We had a calm playful talk, no presure, over lunch at a place we both liked about why we felt the way we did. He explained concerns about finances and how he wanted to be able to spoil our child. I explained how I was concerned about an advanced paternal age because it increases health risks that already run in my family. We agreed to start saving, and I didn't bring it up for about three months. Then when I mentioned my depo was over he was really supportive of me going off of it. I know how hard it is, expecially when all you see is babies and beautiful glowing pregnant women. But your child is worth the wait, and deserves to have to adoring parents.

AnotherChance · June 2009

Wait until he is ready. My DH was not ready when we got married, but with a little time, he came around and now he's totally on board. Give it some time - life will be so much happier if you do.

californiastars · June 2009

:::head desk:::

If he isn't ready then he isn't ready. Don't push him. He will end up resenting you for it. As far as "letting it happen", the way you put " " around it makes it sound shady.

Krista123105 · June 2009

If your DH isn't ready, I would wait. I was ready last year to start TTC, but DH wasn't, so we waited. I got pregnant the first month TTC (we decided to start last month), so it's crucial you're both on the same page BEFORE you start. GL!

Mrs.C042807 · June 2009

Put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if DH coerced you into doing something you weren't entirely sure about or ready for?

You wouldn't like it and would resent him, right?

Well, there you go.

mrsP52908 · June 2009

by "letting it happen" i did NOT mean I was going to "make it happen"...it's just the term he keeps using....I'm supposed to relax and when it's time, it will happen. I "quote" it because if you ask me it doesn't happen unless you let it. I see where all of you wonderful ladies are coming from but after a year of almost going our seperate ways bc of this and then him saying he's ready and then using protection...it's frustrating.

bakerlm · June 2009

It does try your patience waiting for DH to come aboard. Just hang in there!

KK2004 · June 2009

war_eagle:
If you husband is not on board, you need to wait. It sucks, but find other hobbies to distract you. My big thing after we got married was decorating our house.

Ditto, only my hobby was scrapbooking.

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