3rd Trimester

"Open House" after baby's born??

So my SO went to breakfast at my future IL's.

She brought up having an "open house" a couple of weeks after the baby is born.

She said that it would be a good idea so that everyone can meet the baby. My SO has a very large family.

I love his family but I think it should be up to us whether we have an open house. I am not big on passing the baby around so everyone can hold him. Babies get sore from being passed around. I know having everyone over will overwhelm me and our new baby.

I am not sure how to handle this situation. I think 2 weeks after he is born is a little too soon to have an open house.

I need time to re-coop and get into a routine with our baby.

Thoughts??

Re: "Open House" after baby's born??

  • I don't agree with you that "babies get sore from being passed around"... but the decision to open your home to visitors after the birth is completely up to you and your SO.

    We are not having anyone over to our home for about two weeks after the baby's born, and after that it will be on a case-by-case/individual basis. Our families are going to have to call first, which isn't a problem since they all live at least an hour away.

    The bottom line is that if you prefer not to have company, then let them know this NOW before you're in the throes of your emotions post-partum. Our parents have all commented to us that they were grateful for our groundrules ahead of time so they know not to impose later.

    GL!

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  • We plan on inviting people over in sets. No more than 4 people visiting at a time. And we haven't planned on when that will be either. It may be at 2 weeks, it may be at 4.
  • PS. your dog is ADORABLE.
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  • certainly don't plan (or do) anything until you know how you will feel, how things are going with the baby, and NEVER because your MIL tells you to do it.

    You might feel like crap for a while... you have no idea if you'll want any visitors for a while- let alone a house full of people.

    play it by ear and see how you/baby feel.... don't let anyoen pressure you into doing anything- esp your MIL. She needs to learn NOW that this is YOUR child and she has no say in how things will be done with YOUR baby. 

  • Open house doesn't seem like a great idea, IMO. You and your SO are going to want your alone time with the baby, and of course taking care of a newborn can get hectic anyway. Everyone is going to want to meet the baby, but they should also understand you are still recuperating while taking care of your LO, so having company over would be overwhelming.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • FWIW, at 2 weeks pp, the baby will most likely not notice or care if he is being passed around. 

    I can't stand my in laws and would be irritated if MIL would tell me what I needed to do with my home or my baby.  Tjat said, it may be a great way to limit visitation.  DD was born a month before xmas and we instituted 2:00 nap time, when I took DD and we curled up and took a nap every day.  The time was sacred and non-negotiable and it allowed us to kind of monitor all the visiting.  You could have an open house or barbecue and then retreat and leave DH to deal with them...

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  • Some people don't agree that babies get sore from being handled to much.I But,imagine if you didn?t really have the capability of using your muscles as you do now. Imagine if your height and weight were increasing daily, if your bones were growing, and your muscles and organs were stretching. Imagine if you were constantly being picked up and passed around for the majority of the day. If adults were to experience what babies go through every day, we would never stop complaining. A baby?s muscles get tired. Also, I am a germa-phobe and I don't want a sick baby because someone wants to be selfish and breathe all over my baby. ugh...

     

  • imageNDwife07:
    PS. your dog is ADORABLE.

    THANK YOU! We are very proud of her! LOL

    In ref. to some of the other posts.

    My SO and I have stated repeatedly that we do not want visitors for at least a week or so, so we can re-coop and bond with our baby. Depending on how I feel we will allow anyone to visit. I understand the excitement of the new baby. I am not insensitive to that. But there will be plenty of time for everyone to meet him.

    They said,"Well, there are certain people you need to make an exception for..."
    LIKE WHO?? This is OUR baby, it isn't like we are going to be hermits and never let anyone come over.

    Thankfully my SO speaks up on my behalf and said,"You all need to relax and let her get back up on her feet. She is pushing a baby out the size of a watermelon... give her a break!"

    LOL

  • AlilivAliliv member
    Just tell the in-laws you'll call when you're ready for visitors.  Having a house full of people 2 weeks pp doesn't seem like fun.   After DD#1 was born, we invited people over when we were ready.  Usually, just one couple at a time.  I didn't mind when my sisters, parents, DH's Mom and sister came at once.  They were more helpful than not.  Well, my Mom directed my sisters to clean and do laundry:)   In-laws cooked:)   I like your SO!   He sounds smart:)  Passing a baby around may over stimulate he/she if they are awake, but sore?  Nope - OWT.   Where did you hear that?
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born!
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (no
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (noy
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the fact that
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the fact that our
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the fact that our house
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the fact that our house will
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the fact that our house will probably l
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the fact that our house will probably look l
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the fact that our house will probably look like
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the fact that our house will probably look like a
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the fact that our house will probably look like a tornado
  • We plan on having a "Welcome Baby" open house so that our family/friends can meet her... however, we don't plan on having this until she's at least a month old, maybe more. My sister did it for both her girls, and it worked out fine. We only plan on having very close family/friends visit at first, and most of them will be here to help us out. I don't think I'll be up for entertaining visitors anytime in the first month after she's born! (not to mention the fact that our house will probably look like a tornado hit
  • We are having a party the week after the baby is born.  Everyone wanted me to have a baby shower but I would rather have people over where they can meet the baby.  We have a huge family and I think it is easier to get it all out of the way.  The day DD came home from the hospital we had a huge party (it was my birthday and it was already planned).  I put Purell by the front door and everyone was very careful.  Do what you feel comfortable with.  I am pretty relaxed and wasn't worried.
    image
  • Have your in-laws throw a party.  Then you, SO, and baby show up for a little while.  Thank everyone for coming and when you're done you get outta there.  No clean up and you can set the rules/times for yourself. 

    I've also read that if baby is in a sling "attached" to you then people won't be as determined to hold him/her.  I don't know how true this is since this is my first but it might be worth a try. 

  • imagecranguard:

    Have your in-laws throw a party.  Then you, SO, and baby show up for a little while.  Thank everyone for coming and when you're done you get outta there.  No clean up and you can set the rules/times for yourself. 

    I've also read that if baby is in a sling "attached" to you then people won't be as determined to hold him/her.  I don't know how true this is since this is my first but it might be worth a try. 

     That sounds like a great idea!!!!

  • Will be watching this thread as I'm interested in the replies.  MIL is suggesting she should come stay with us even though my parents are traveling from across the country to be here for the birth and will be staying with us for a week or two.  MIL wants to have all the family at our house when baby comes home.  MIL and I don't really get along and I don't like the idea of having a ton of people over to handle the baby right away.  Also, I have a feeling I'm not going to be up for MIL's BS. 

     Do what YOU are comfortable doing, not what MIL wants you to do.  Maybe wait at least a month and by then you'll feel a little bit better than say two days after giving birth. 

  • We are planning on having immediate family only over to meet Kaitlyn. My mom, dad, sister, his mom and brother and his family.  Everyone else will meet her maybe at 3 weeks, when we plan on having a welcome home party for her :)

     

    Do what you feel comfortable doing.  I agree about the germs and excessive passing around - I'm going to be very picky about who gets to visit!

     

    Good luck! 

  • If my mom or MIL said that to me, I'd tell them that they are welcome to host something and I'll bring the baby over for a couple of hours, but that I am not doing the extra cleaning before and after that comes with an open house.
    Baby E: July 3, 2009 Baby M: February 22, 2012
  • I like the idea of having my MIL hosting a meet and greet at her home... then we can just leave after an hour...

    Also, I like the idea of using my sling so no one will ask me to get him out to hold him. Although I know my MIL will be grabbing him every chance she can get. I do love her... but she can be a little overbearing and overwhelming sometimes.

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