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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I don't like jealous "baby milestone" people.
My co-worker has a son that is 3 weeks older than my son.
He asked me today if my son says any words, and I told him yes.
He asked how many, and I said 18 words total.
He got this instant blank stare on his face and said "My son doesn't say any words yet. Are you sure your son says 18 words?"
I replied "Ummm. Yep."
He then changed the subject, and gave me fake smiles all day.
Why be jealous? Every child develops differently...it's not a race for God's sake!
He asked me today if my son says any words, and I told him yes.
He asked how many, and I said 18 words total.
He got this instant blank stare on his face and said "My son doesn't say any words yet. Are you sure your son says 18 words?"
I replied "Ummm. Yep."
He then changed the subject, and gave me fake smiles all day.
Why be jealous? Every child develops differently...it's not a race for God's sake!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I don't like jealous "baby milestone" people.
Yeah, but it's hard not to compare your baby/child to others. Case in point, someone posted today with a 12 month three week old and she made it sound like her kid was a genius. I instantly thought, "geez, my kid doesn't do that." I know she was just being proud of her kid but it's difficult not to compare.
And I know every baby/child is different and develops at their own pace. But....
It's not like I was bragging. He asked, and I answered.
Yes, I have been jealous of certain things in life because it's human nature, but I try not to express it around that person, or I try to move on and focus on more important things. KWIM?
I don't get jealous by any means but, when I hear of a ten month baby walking and Emerson is 14 months and still not walking, I think, come on baby...walk! lol-
Gotcha. I can understand that. If the parent starts acting differently to you or around you because of it, yeah that's a little weird.
I think that's really easy to say when you're the one saying, "Yeah, my kid is younger than yours and says 18 words." ?But when you're the one worrying because you think your kid should be doing things that they're not, then yeah, it's hard not to be jealous.
And I know he's the one that asked and you just answered, but I think you need to be a little more understanding. ?Just my opinion.?
I can understand how he is feeling. However, this co-worker has been a friend of mine (at work) for over 3 years. If something big happens in his life, or something happens that definitely is "bragging rights worthy", instead of expressing jealousy, I congratulate him, and truly mean it.
I guess I don't understand as much because I'm not the jealous type. I'm the first one to say "CONGRATS!" when something good happens to someone else.
I just felt weird today since I sit right by him because after I said that, he acted weird around me. I don't like it.
Lori- You might be right. I just picked up on the fake smiles as jealousy for some reason, and it made me feel uncomfortable.
Now my issues is: Next time he ask me a question like that, do I answer it, or change the subject?
This. ?I don't feel jealous of other babies that are walking already, I feel a little afraid that I'm doing something wrong or not doing something right, or God forbid there is something wrong with DS...
I'm sorry that he is acting weird, but maybe he's now freaked out that something is wrong with his kid and he's preoccupied with that thought and you remind him of it. ?Who knows!?
Not saying that at all. Where do you get that?
I'm just saying, don't feel like the other parent is jealous when it might be worry for his child's development. By all means, be honest about your kid's progress. I have no problem telling people about Joseph's advanced stuff (sitting unassisted at 4m, fully on table food at 6m, sippy exclusive at 10m, walking at 11m,) but that doesn't mean that I'm not skittish about his language skills, which aren't as developed as I would like, or when someone tells me how tiny he is, despite his percentiles. Parents get nervous about stuff.
Thank you. This is what I was thinking too. Why would I lie about my son's progression?
I guess next time he ask me a milestone question, I will just change the subject.
Five bucks says he doesn't ask you another milestone question.
Bath
Ball
Block
Book
Hot
Light
Cat
Dog
Mama
Dada
Hi
Bye
Trash
This
That
Look
No
Brush
Well from someone that has a child with confirmed global developmental delays it is hard to hear about all the milestones that babies even 6 months younger than her are doing and my DD isn't even close.
I just don't ask people what they're DCs are doing because it makes me sad. One one hand, I am grateful that I don't have to "compare" DD to typical kids- you just can't compare special needs kids with typical kids. But when I hear about your kid (who is younger than mine) having 18 words, and mine has none, it makes me very sad.
And for that reason I ignore a lot of the posts about developmental milestones and I avoid hanging out with my friends who have typical kids because it's just depressing.?
Hugs, Ama. But if it helps at all, that's one damn cute siggy pic.
Your child is beautiful and special in her own right. Even if she develops slower than someone younger than her doesn't mean she isn't a genius in her own way. There are so many inventors and geniuses that were proven to have learning disabilities. Whose to say that the child that isn't learning as quickly at 18 months won't surpass my child intellectually in 3rd grade?
I hope you know that it was not my intention to make you sad with my post, or to make anyone sad for that matter.
The intent of my post was to ask why people express jealousy towards friends they've known (work with) for a while?
As I said in my pp, I am the farthest from being a 'jealous person', and feel people develop at different rates.
If I could go back in time, I would have never answered his question.
I feel my relationship with my co-worker is a little altered now over a silly milestone question (because I was being honest), and that kills me.
I wish I knew that was going to happen or if that was going to happen. Because from what I understand about the term "global developmental delays" it's just a nice way to say "mentally retarded". I'm not throwing in the towel yet, but I honestly don't have high hopes. It's easier to be in that place so I don't get too?disappointed.?
My cousin has Down Syndrome (which I know is very different from what Marley has), and she is considered mentally retarded. She graduated from high school two years ago, where she held a part-time job down in a cafe that was created to give people with special needs job opportunities. She now works there full-time, had her second heart surgery last year (and came through with flying colors - when she came to, her first question was, "Can I have a Coke and my Disney movie?"), and competes in the special olympics, where she medals each year. She is active in her church, and she also helped out with Extreme Home Makeover - she helped build a home in her community.
My aunt had no hope when Megan was Marley's age. She had just had her first heart surgery and wasn't expected to live very long. Now my aunt cheers Megan on at the special olympics, visits her at work, and takes her to community softball practice and ballet lessons.
ETA: Megan just turned twenty last month, and I had to share this photo :O)
Your Marley is going to be wonderful, and she is going to make a difference in this world. She already has. She has a wonderful, caring mother to thank for that.
OP - if you know this guy is weirdly competitive, then don't get into such specifics as "18 words". "He knows quite a few words and trust me, he can tell us what he wants, haha" gets the job done.
DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
This is so awesome! It made me cry!
Jealous baby milestone people annoy me too. Who gives a ***- like others have said= it isn't a race, you know?
And, FWIW, my dd is pretty slow with the whole milestone thing and the jealous milestone people *still* annoy me. Just as annoying are those who seem apologetic or embarassed when they realize that my dd is behind many other kids her age- why on earth should they be embarassed? I'm not embarassed for dd, why would they be?
wow, go Q!
theres a baby in our baby gym class who is 2 weeks older than Syd and she doesn't do anything that Syd does. She barely sits up to play. Theres nothing wrong with the little girl, just delayed.
a while back, when syd came to class running around, the parents switched their baby to another day of baby gym class. it made me sad because i enjoyed their company. syd and the baby didnt care they were at different speeds. they would just sit there and 'talk' to eachother and hit eachother - lovingly of course.
What is a "12 month three week old"??
LOL- me too. I am sitting here at my desk with my eyes full of tears.
This exactly. Ben has met most of his milestones early. However, at 15 months, he still can't eat a lot of table food because of his gag reflex (which is much better, but not completely gone) and he went from practically learning a new word every week to no new words for 6 weeks. My concern had nothing to do with comparing him to what the next baby can do (because I honestly couldn't care less and know that babies develop at differnent rates)...but it was more about that there might be some kind of problem or that as his mom, I'm not doing all I can to encourage his development.
And Kelbrian, that story was wonderful. Thank you for sharing.
This exactly. DS is delayed in his gross motor skills and is getting ready to start Early Intervention. A mom from my moms's group that I'm friends with has twin boys who are exactly a week younger than DS and they're walking up a storm. I'm not jealous of her or her sons' development, I just worry that DS will never "catch up", which is silly. I used to study how she would interact with them to see if she was doing something "magical" that I wasn't that was causing them to move, lol.
DS has been evaluated, and he's really not too behind at all. They predict he'll be walking within a 2-3 months. I'm trying to relax about the whole thing, but it's still hard to see a baby your DC's age or younger doing things that your DC isn't doing yet. I would try to be understanding of that.
I got it from a previous post. I guess I should have said 12 months three week old.
Ditto.