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Pregnant after a Loss
skibrook82
member
Mom asked if she could be in the delivery room!
skibrook82
member
So DH and I were eating dinner at my parents house last night...and we were talking about the baby...and she wanted to be in the delivery room!! I told her no, and that I plan on it being just DH and I. She insisted that she is allowed and that's shes coming in no matter what.
I told her we can have this conversation as we get closer, I am only 7 weeks!! Anyway, who here plans on just having DH in the delivery room?
Our little angel went to heaven at 6w3d
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Mom asked if she could be in the delivery room!
LOL! Your mom sounds like mine. She wasn't so blunt, but said, "Okay, well by that point in the game you guys won't even know who's in the room and who's not." Um, yeah, I WILL STILL HAVE EYES!
I would actually love to have my mom and sisters in the room, but DH wants it to be just us. I feel like I have to respect his wished for that since it's his baby too.
DD#1 born June '09
DD#2 born April '11
TTC #3 as of July '14
We will allow family in the room with us (they will leave when I get checked) and then they will ALL leave when it's time to push. How dare you mom say she insists. It's not her right, if you don't want her there, she does not have to be there!
At this point we are not positive whether we want my mother there (we are doing a home birth, so it's more comfortable to have more people around - they can be in the house but not in the room if I want them gone). At first I was pretty sure I did not want her there, but now I'm starting to think I might. In any case, as far as my mom knows, it's just going to be me and my DH, and she is totally fine with that.
I think that, if she were pushy about it, I'd probably sit down and say that I understand that she wants to be involved, and that I'd like her to be one of the first people to see the baby after it is born, but that I really think having too many people in the room would stress me out, and I want DH and I to have this moment. I think that would work with her ... don't know if it would with your mother. I think you're wise, though, to put off the conversation for awhile. Let her ruminate on your "no" for a bit - and maybe by the time you talk about it again, she'll have mellowed.
Ditto to this..
We are not going to find out the sex either, so they can all wait outside the room till after the pushing and delivery is done, when I'm decent again, THEN they can come back in..
It's only going to be DH and the medical staff in the room with me.
Your Mom is allowed to be in the room only if you say she is allowed in the room. If she brings it up again and you're firm on wanting just DH in the room, tell her you do not want her in the room with you and if she tries to be in there "no matter what" she'll have to deal with the nursing staff and security.
Definitely tell the nurses at the hospital that you don't want her in there. Your DH and the nurses can be in charge of keeping her out. My parents and one of my sisters sat with me for a while, but when DH's parents arrived, I shooed them out because I didn't want the ILs in there. I wanted no one but DH there when I was pushing.
When I was labor with Mia my mother, mother-in-law, and brother-in-law were in the room periodically when I was in labor (only after the epidural). When it was time to push everyone except DH left. They waited in the waiting room and came back in about a 1/2 or 1 hour after I gave birth. For me, it was a special moment I wanted just to two of us to share, but not our whole family. Plus I don't want everyone to see me like that, even my mom!
I hope it will be a similar experience this time.