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First day at preschool- normal behavior, or should I be concerned?

Tonya_GTonya_G member
in Working Moms

We've never sent him to preschool before, because my husband's schedule allows him to be home 2/3 of the time and is pretty much a SAHD, and our parents are able to watch him on the days both DH and I work. But, this summer, in order to pay down some bills and save up some for the baby on the way, we both decided to work- DH in construction, me at a day care center I used to work at during college. I'm able to take DS with me to work and get half price on his tuition, which is awesome.

So, anyways, his morning started out well- I saw him at lunch, his teacher said he was doing great, no problems... but after lunch, he refused to go down for his nap and was being noisy (they go down for nap around 12, he's not used to going down for his nap at home until almost 2- I figured this would be an issue.) Then, in the afternoon, probably because he didn't get his nap, he was a crank and threw a ball at another kids face and hit another kid. His teacher asked if we used time out and consequences at home (I'm starting to question my parenting abilities, seriously- this is the second time in a few weeks this question has been asked. Sad), and said that he wasn't hitting b/c he was mad, but that he didn't seem to connect his actions with the consequences. She said he was very sorry afterward, and apologized right away and knew it wasn't nice.

I don't want my son to be that kid who hits people at school. He hits sometimes at home- it's always swiftly dealt with by either losing a privilage/going to time out/ some other natural consequence. I don't know if we're just not doing enough, or doing things the right way, or if it's just typical 3yo behavior. Or if today was just him testing the waters to see what he can get away with at school... He can tell us that hitting is wrong, he knows it, he knows he'll get in trouble, but it still doesn't always stop him. I'm getting so frustrated! Any mommies of 3yo boys have any good advice?

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Re: First day at preschool- normal behavior, or should I be concerned?

  • mrshutchmrshutch
    Hi Tonya! Sorry, no 3 yr-old boy in my house, but it really sounds like he's testing the waters, as you mentioned. I don't know if he's a big talker, but Taylor still gets frustrated sometimes b/c she can't figure out what words to use. Combine that with a new environment and/or fatigue and she can start acting out. For her, it's more shrieking than hitting kids, but they all have their own ways :) Give it some time and he'll settle in. And don't feel like a bad mommy! Teachers ask those things to try to help- not to judge you and make you feel bad (I taught 4th grade boys for a few years, so I had to ask similar questions a lot!).
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  • mysticrivermysticriver

    I wish I had some easy answers but all I can say is that I feel your pain.  Our almost-3-y.o. does the disruptive nap thing and lately we've been having too many conversations with the preschool teachers about it (it's preschool in daycare - full day) 

     He's probably frustrated, doesn't know what's going on with all the changes, etc.  We've just been trying to work on - in addition to discipline - extra attention and routine at home, just so things feel more predictable and secure.  I think kids tend to act out when they don't feel any sense of control.

    But you're doing all you can, the best you can...some of it may just be typical 3yo (esp boy) behavior.

     Hang in there

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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    Hi, sorry for the hard day.  Honestly, it sounds like normal 3 year testing the waters behavior to me.  He is in a brand new situation with new people, new friends, etc.  He is going to test and it will take him a bit to adjust.  My DD will be 3 on Tuesday and she has been having the worst tantrums lately.  This is an age where they are trying to be so indendent and I have heard from a ton of friends that this can be harder than the terrible 2's at times.  I totally belive that.  Give him time but make sure what you and his teachers are doing to handle the behavior are consistent so he learns what is OK at school is OK at home adn vice versa.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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