Husband disappointed in sex of baby :( — The Bump
2nd Trimester

Husband disappointed in sex of baby :(

I just found out today that our first baby is probably a boy! I didn't really care about the sex and am just excited to know, but DH really wanted a girl and he seemed disappointed :(

Did anyone else deal with this??Please tell me DH will get over it and be excited about our little boy!

Re: Husband disappointed in sex of baby :(

  • Gender disappointment happens and I'm sure he will be excited. DH really wanted a little boy but has come to LOVE the fact that he's going to have a little beauty.
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  • I've NEVER heard of a DH not loving his little boy.  Maybe he's a little surprised but I am sure that kid will be his pride and joy before long!
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  • I don't find out until July 1st, but my SO and i talked about this last night and he mentioned that he would be really disappointed if it was a boy too!  Personally as long as my baby is healthy it doesn't matter!
  • Are you sure he's disappointed and not just in shock?  I know when we found out we were having a boy it just made it so much more real to know the sex.  Of course my fiance said he's glad it's a boy (girls intimidate him), I know he would have loved a little girl.  The shock is just a lot for him not having any brothers or sisters or having any experience with babies/kids.  Could that be it - more than disappointment?
  • ::raises hand::

    BF is still in shock over having a girl- I think I'm going to have to wait this one out until he actually sees her.

  • My DH wanted a little girl too.  He already has 2 sons from a previous marriage and really wanted a daddy's little girl. 

    I let him pick the nursey decor and he also helped me with names.  That helped us focus on cute boy things.   Now he can't wait to try for our 2nd and hope its a girl. 

  • We have two girls, and DH really wants a boy this time.  I know it, and he's said it. 

    However, he is a great dad to his girls and either way, he is going to love this little one unconditionally too.

    He'll get over it sooner than you think.  Gender dissapointment happens all the time - but you won't be able to imagine that little person any other way when they come out!

  • Give him some time.  If he doesn't get over the it by the time the baby arrives, then I would start to worry, but a little gender disappointment isn't too uncommon.
  • My coworker and her husband swore they were having a boy, wanted a boy and even called her belly "him". They are both very tomboyish and didn't want anything to do with a girl. She went into labor and out popped a girl. It's so funny now to listen to them google all over her and it's amazing how their attitudes changed!

    I've never heard of a Dad being dissapointed for it being a boy, it's usually the opposite way around!

  • Before we found out it was a girl BF wasn't sure if he wanted more kids. After we found out one of the first things he said was that he wanted another one- which made me happy because I think I'll want more than one and def wasn't happy about the fact it might not be an option. I guess we'll have to see how this one goes! haha
  • My husband was quiet as we were driving away from the Dr.'s after our sneak peek at 16 weeks. I'm not sure if he was disappointed or just having a shock of  'Oh my god, we're really having a baby.'  Now he is totally in love with having a daughter and has even gotten into picking out little dresses for her...this coming from a guy who HATES to shop, so that's pretty big.
  • Oh no! I am so sorry. All I can say is that I think it's normal and trust me it will go away once the baby is born. That's exactly why we didn't find out with #1. We both were hoping a bit for a girl and didn't want to be disappointed. It's a good thing, because we had a boy and now it seems silly that we even cared about the sex of the baby. He's perfect and we laugh now about how we wanted a girl. Trust me, when the baby is here, he will love him to death.?
  • My fiance really wanted another boy..he thought that we were going to have a house full of men. But to his surprise it was a girl. He was a little upset the first day or so, but know he couldn't be any more happier and he is so excited & can't wait for his little princess to get here. He rubs my belly more than I do now. I think just give him a couple days & he will eventually get over it.
  • It was actually the opposite for us...DH didn't care either way but i really wanted a boy.  I wanted the first grandchild boy on his side and we already have two neices.  And I hate to admit it but when they said girl i did cry.  This was at my 20 week visit but the doctor also said she was 90 not 100% sure and we would have to wait for our 24 week visit to look again.  Well, we went on monday and i realized that i was going to be disappointed if it wasn't a girl.  I think you just get this idea in your head of your life with your baby and when it's not what you picutred it changes everything.  It takes a week or two but he will definitely get over it.  Plus, you can bring up all the wonderful things he can do with a boy and not a girl to perk him up.  My DH when out and bought all of these cute little dresses for me :)

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  • I can forsee this happening to me too.  My SO really wants a boy (he already has two daughters).  I know he'll be very happy with a girl, but I'm sure he would have some disappointment.

    Just give him a little time and I'm sure he'll snap out of it. 

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  • I'm a little worried that I may be disappointed when we find out the gender.  Of course I'll get over it and be a proud mama of a boy or girl but I've always really wanted to have at least one little girl. 
  • image KB1001:
    I don't find out until July 1st, but my SO and i talked about this last night and he mentioned that he would be really disappointed if it was a boy too!  Personally as long as my baby is healthy it doesn't matter!

    I'm really shocked by any man who says, they will be disappointed in having a boy. We don't found out for another 3 weeks and my DH is happy to just have a healthy baby. 

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  • If he is usually a very nice dh, he'll get over having a boy and love him just the same. It will probably be one of those "state farm" moments-it hits you how much you love the baby when it arrives. Right now its just hiding in your kangaroo pouch so it might not feel like its "really there".

    one of my friends hubbys was really disappointed that they were having a girl. He honestly, still doesn't really like the baby. But, he's a HUGE douche to begin with anyhow. I don't like him at all. he cares more about his car and his dogs than he does his wife, so I wasn't surprised he was like that. But, I'm sure your DH isn't like that, so I wouldn't worry!

  • For us, I was the one disappointed.  I'm embarrassed to even type that out but I was.  It is just that I always imagined having a daughter.  Now, I think I'd be disappointed if I found out this baby was actually a girl.  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for whatever child I am blessed with and will love them no matter what, but at this point, I have my mind set on having my son. 

    I think if you give it some time to sink in, he will be fine with the gender.  I needed a day or two to be disappointed and then I not only got over it, I'm super happy.  At least he is able to express his disappointment.  People try to make you feel like crap for emotions that you can't help but feel.

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  • We won't find out until July 1st....But when we went in for our NT scan and the did a very very early guess at girl, he was disappointed.
  • My DH was a little disappointed that we were having a boy as well.  I think he was just picturing a little girl the whole time for whatever reason.  We even had a girl name picked out but couldn't decide on a boy name.  Anyway, it took him a couple of days to get his thoughts adjusted and now he's SO excited to have a son.  We just keep talking about all the fun things we'll do with our son.

    I'm sure your DH will come around! 

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  • Yeah, I dealt with it.  I was disappointed in our baby's gender, too.  We both wanted a boy and I referred to baby as "he" and "him for over three months.

    I was surprised and disappointed to discover that we're having a girl.  I quickly got over it.  I'm happy we're having a baby and praying that she'll be healthy.

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  • My DH is very dissapointed that we are having a girl, so much so that he does not want any more children for fear of having another girl.  He wants nothing to do with naming her and said the raising will be up to me.  Hopefully he gets over this, we have been together for ten years, married for four years, and have always planned on having multiple children, I just can't believe he is acting like this now. 

    Hopefully both of our DH's will get over this with time.  And maybe the next one will be the other sex.

  • This happened to me! My DH wanted a boy badly (he's the last one to carry the name w/ 5 generations alive too) and when we found out it was a girl he simply stated on our walk back to the ar "Well that sucks" I was so hurt but ignored him and was estatic!! When I came home about a week later with a bunch of girlie clothes he says "I'm getting excited about it being a girl, b/c she'll be fun to dress up"

    It's totally not a big deal anymore and all that will matter is that your baby is healthy!!

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