Crib as gift - Need thoughts.

carimeli · June 2009

When we announced our pregnancy, my IL's have offered to buy "whatever we need" for the baby. DH and I were going to accept their offer to purchase the crib & dresser for the nursery.

Now my dad & SM said they would like to buy the crib for us (in a specific price range) because they have done it for all of the kids so far (I didn't know that) and they weren't aware that DH's parents have offered, too.

The cribs I am looking at are all slightly higher (around $50-100 more) than the range they offered to pay. I would be happy to pay the difference, but I don't want to come off like we didn't think they were offering us enough or something. Plus, I know DH's parents would pay the extra to get the one we wanted if my dad hadn't made the offer. I don't really want to pick another crib, but not sure how to not hurt their feelings because we really do appreciate all the help we can get!

What would you do?

CassRW · June 2009

What if you let each one pay for half? That way each feels like they had a part and you don't have to go for a different crib...or worry about hurting anyone's feelings.

TeamRey · June 2009

I would just say that your husband's parents already offered to pay for it and that you really appreciate it but they don't have to. There are plenty of other things that they could get you in place of that and all is just as needed as the rest.

AJluvsLI · June 2009

I'm kinda confused, is the problem that you don't know which side of the family should buy the crib or that the one you picked is out of their given price range?

MrsBunches · June 2009

I wish someone wanted to buy us a crib!

Could you explain the situation to both parents and see how they want to handle it? Maybe they could split the cost of the more expensive crib, or one of them will want to instead buy some other expensive item.

gwenypher7 · June 2009

My mom offered to do the same. I scaled back my price-range. I still was able to find a crib I loved for less than the $299 BRU ones - plus, it meant they could also get the changing table.

I just decided I didn't need to have my "dream crib" as long as I was satisifed with the one they could afford. Make sense?

TDKitty · June 2009

This is a nice problem to have - what generous relatives! Is it too late to just tell your dad that you hadn't realized they planned to buy the crib, and had already accepted the IL's offer to buy it? Maybe your dad could buy another (less expensive) piece of furniture, like a glider or something.

Blumunchkn · June 2009

Since you didn't know that they were going to do this maybe you can tell them that you have already told your ILs to buy it. Apologize and then let them know something else they can buy/do that would be equally as special as the crib so they don't feel left out.

KB0426 · June 2009

I would simply tell him DH's parent beat him to the punch and tell him there are plenty of other expensive things you need, like a travel system.

annibes · June 2009

Just tell the truth- you have your heart set on a particular crib. Let them know that your inlaws are buying the dresser and that you'd really like to have a matching set. Be sure to let them know you're happy to pay the difference and that you're so grateful for their offer because it's such a big help.

carimeli · June 2009

AJluvsLI:
I'm kinda confused, is the problem that you don't know which side of the family should buy the crib or that the one you picked is out of their given price range?

Yeah, the problem is the crib isn't in the price range. Yesterday when my step-mom mentioned they'd like to buy us the crib, I told them they didn't need to, etc...but they insisted. DH's parents assume they are buying everything (because they want to and that's just how they are - we haven't given them any specifics of things we picked out because we're just now starting to look at the big things).

I do like the idea of maybe having the IL's buy the crib and my parents getting the dresser. That should solve it.

ashdonne · June 2009

Blumunchkn:

Since you didn't know that they were going to do this maybe you can tell them that you have already told your ILs to buy it. Apologize and then let them know something else they can buy/do that would be equally as special as the crib so they don't feel left out.

This---there are so many things you will need. This is awesome they are all wanting to do this for you guys! My parents bought our crib and dresser but DH parents haven't said anything. I feel lucky that one side is helping us out!

AJluvsLI · June 2009

Well good luck to you!! From what you said both sides of the family seem very sincere and helpful so it should all be just fine.

Mrs.R0908 · June 2009

Will they give you their contribution amount and you can just pay the difference? My DH's grandma pays for everyones first crib but it wasn't quite what ours cost, she gave us our crib money for "mothers day" and we just contributed the rest. Your IL's can maybe purchase another big item you want?

emilie01 · June 2009

Slightly confused. Do your inlaws know they are buying the crib yet? Or is it something that you could have them buy a nice chair for the baby's room or something? I don't know, IMO if they are not yet aware of the purchase I would keep with tradition and have your parents buy the crib. At least you know you won't be buying a crib! Good luck.

carimeli · June 2009

Thanks ladies - I think we'll just try to split things up so everyone can feel involved and appreciated. We are really glad to have this kind of "problem".

heather_09_15_07 · June 2009

TeamRey:
I would just say that your husband's parents already offered to pay for it and that you really appreciate it but they don't have to. There are plenty of other things that they could get you in place of that and all is just as needed as the rest.

This.

alelau1402 · June 2009

TeamRey:
I would just say that your husband's parents already offered to pay for it and that you really appreciate it but they don't have to. There are plenty of other things that they could get you in place of that and all is just as needed as the rest.

This!!! the baby is going to need more than a crib, and both of you guys will appreciate the help getting other things at are also needed and equal valued as if they were getting the crib for you guys....

epopp85 · June 2009

CassRW:
What if you let each one pay for half? That way each feels like they had a part and you don't have to go for a different crib...or worry about hurting anyone's feelings.

This, or maybe tell them that DH's parents already offered and would they prefer to buy something else like a pack n play that might be less expensive anyway. That way, no one gets hurt feelings?

Ivana_Stolichnaya · June 2009

Slightly similar situation. My In-laws are divorced and they both offered to buy us the crib and dresser. My MIL can be difficult and didn't want her ex to out-do her so we offered her first choice of what she wanted to get (she's a little immature). She said "Crib" and my FIL was fine with what-ever (typical guy response) Then my MIL found out the dresser cost more and she got upset and wanted to switch and buy the more expensive gift. Luckily my FIL is a good sport and obviously knows about his ex's personality and switched and bought the us crib. We had to deal with the same bullshit before our wedding.

MrsStubbs · June 2009

Just tell them that your Inlaws offered first. I like the idea of each of them going half.

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