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nice... heard back from RE

hannah&benhannah&ben
in Success after IF

I don't know what I expected him to say... but I got a 4 line "unfortunately that happens sometimes, if you're out and about we'd love to see the baby" email.

Oh, and he also made it a point to ask again if I had an early amnio or CVS during pregnancy (he had pushed it before he released me to confirm the PGD worked - and had also written to my OB recommending I do it as well - I declined because of the risk and the fact that I would not have terminated regardless).

I just responded and let him know I'd keep him posted... I don't know why I'm so mad... I guess I just expected him to be more compassionate... maybe an "I'm sorry to hear that"... and I got nothing of the sort.

Bleh. 

 

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Re: nice... heard back from RE

  • epphdepphd member
    imagehannah&ben:

     "unfortunately that happens sometimes, if you're out and about we'd love to see the baby"

    Indifferent That's it?!?!  That's the best he could do? I'm annoyed FOR you. I wonder if he is being so measured to cover his own ass.  If he betrayed any dismay, regret, or worry, perhaps he would be concerned you could take that as an admission of an error and sue?  Not that this is even an OK excuse, but it's the only one I can think of.

    You deserve a more thorough explanation, and I'm glad at least the embryology lab is cooperating. 

    Bleh indeed.  ((hug))

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  • cjsbdlcjsbdl member

    Yikes, sounds like someone needs to work on his bedside manner. Is he normally that abrupt? 

    Seems to me that he would want a formal review of some kind. Has that not been discussed? (Sorry if I've missed something.)

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  • hannah&benhannah&ben
    imagecjsbdl:

    Yikes, sounds like someone needs to work on his bedside manner. Is he normally that abrupt? 

    That's the thing - No! He's not like that at all! That's why I'm upset..

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  • Mrs.BabbsyMrs.Babbsy member

    WOW, I don't even know what to say. I would not have expected that from him! He usually has great bedside manner.

    I was expecting him to call you and talk to you at least. I am shocked!

    I'm sorry Hannah! {{HUGS}}

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  • hannah&benhannah&ben
    imageepphd:
    imagehannah&ben:

     "unfortunately that happens sometimes, if you're out and about we'd love to see the baby"

    Indifferent That's it?!?!  That's the best he could do? I'm annoyed FOR you. I wonder if he is being so measured to cover his own ass.  If he betrayed any dismay, regret, or worry, perhaps he would be concerned you could take that as an admission of an error and sue?  Not that this is even an OK excuse, but it's the only one I can think of.

    You deserve a more thorough explanation, and I'm glad at least the embryology lab is cooperating. 

    Bleh indeed.  ((hug))

    That's my best guess... and I also think he's working under the assumption that this has nothing to do with him... that either the lab screwed up the PGD or we've got another mutation on our hands... regardless he did his part... I just expected more from him.. he's such a kind and caring man and seemed so involved in our cycle... 

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  • TakYelgifTakYelgif
    imagehannah&ben:

    "unfortunately that happens sometimes"

    Yeah that would piss me off too, he needs to work on his bedside manner!

    imagehannah&ben:

    "I'm sorry to hear that"

    It really would not have been hard for him to say this to you, and I am guessing would have gone a long way in making you feel better about the PGD not working.

    I am sorry you are having to deal with all of this!

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  • cjsbdlcjsbdl member

    I think Elizabeth is probably right...he is probably being close-lipped on advice from someone else. 

    I'm sorry, though--I know it must be difficult not to get compassion from him. We all come to rely on our REs so much for that. 

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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    What the?!?!?!?!? Seriously? Don't they have some sort of refund program or anything? I can't believe that's it!
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • DavezWifeDavezWife member

    I'm feeling most feisty thing morning... may I bich slap him please?

     

    arrgrghhh.

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  • kristinamh6kristinamh6
    That is disappointing, and I would be upset by that also. I'm sorry you didn't get a more sympathetic, informative response.
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  • Karma1969Karma1969 member
    He sounds cold and heartless.  I would have thought he would have at least offered you a meeting so you could talk.  What abastard.
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  • thewormstheworms member

    I'm sorry, you deserve more than that from your RE.  I am pissed for you. 

    (((HUGS)))

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  • JGirl2005JGirl2005 member

    ugh, sorry he didn' thave a good response, but as elizabeth says he is CYAing....

    I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  I'm with you, I would not have had the amnio/CVS, but that is just me. 

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  • alchrisalchris member
    I'm so sorry!  I really hate it when people refuse to apologize, let alone about something of the *most* importance.  I bet he was covering his butt; he erred on the side of being super brief and thus nonchalant, totally inappropriate in my opinion, plus the bit about the amnio/CVS was totally uncalled for right now.  (I don't think I would have had one either in your situation.)  I'm glad he was caring previously, at least.  Perhaps in person he'd have a more open conversation, or at least an "I'm sorry," whereas in print he was way too abrupt.  At the very least, *I'm* sorry, Hannah. :(
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