Pregnant after 35
MIL has started buying us baby stuff
I'm only 8 weeks. But yesterday she told us she bought us a car seat, a diaper bag, a bassinet, and lots of clothes. I am grateful, but, well, I want to pick out my own stuff when we get to that point (I feel like this is *way* early to be buying baby stuff). So...this is just par for the course for an excited grandma-to-be, yes? At this point, would you say something? I don't want to be a jerk--I'm super grateful that she's excited and that she's being helpful. We just rarely have the same taste. 
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Re: MIL has started buying us baby stuff
Well I would talk to her, especially if your relationship is good, she should understand. She probably is just super excited. Does she plan to give this stuff to you soon? The problem I see if she decides to wait til your shower or when the baby is born is you may have a hard time returning it.
I mean what if the car seat she buys gets recalled in the next 8 months. What if it doesn't work with your car, what if you have your heart set on something else you see in the meantime. With clothes, it's going to be completely different things in the stores at that time. Is she buying appropriate clothes at the right size for the right season?
I wouldn't say it's par for the course. I think it's very presumptuous to buy things like a bassinet, carseat and a diaper bag for someone when she (you) hasn't even registered for those items yet, much less to buy them when the mom-to-be is only in her first trimester.
I would rip off the band-aid and explain kindly that you want the opportunity to pick out those particular items yourself. For many women, part of the joy of impending motherhood is shopping for these special things for the baby. She pretty much took that away from you without even asking.
If you don't set boundaries with this soon-to-be grandma now, she may continue to try to make decisions for you after the baby comes. Better to nip it in the bud now than later.
She's just excited, but I'd have my DH say something. You should get to pick out your own stuff.
I agree that you need to say something?and I think WITH your husband?to let your MIL know that you feel that A) it's too early to buy baby items [and I agree, 8 weeks is a bit too early] and
that you want time to decide what you want for a nursery.
Also, if you plan to find out the baby's sex, that may play a deciding factor on what design/theme you choose for baby items.
I've only JUST begun purchasing items for the baby and I'm at 30 weeks. I didn't register until 20 weeks, when I found out I was having a boy. And while I received some gifts from friends when they found out I was pregnant, I only bought stuff for the nursery in the last 10 days.
Good luck with this. You do need to be sensitive to your MIL's feelings, because she's just thrilled for you. But saying something and setting boundaries now is important.
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Thanks so much for the perspective. This isn't actually MIL's first grandchild--it's our first, but my husband's brother has 2. And I agree, I think it's way, way too early to be stocking up!
I sent her an email today saying thank you so much, but hey, don't go totally crazy buying stuff because it's still so early and Jeremy and I want to pick stuff out to register for. All written very nicely and light-heartedly. She responded really positively, saying that she promises she won't buy anything else without my okay, and that she doesn't want us to miss out on the fun of planning. So all is well!
Thanks for the advice to speak up--I tend to *not* speak up with her most of the time, but I think that is going to have to change!
Nip it in the bud. My MIL went completely overboard and it ended up causing bigger problems. Let her kno w how grateful you are for her interest and excitement, but you are still letting everything sink in. Try to include her in things..pre-registry shopping trips, etc so that *maybe* she catch on to what you like.
HTH!
Thanks for all this advise. My MIL already started buying things last week...I was only 7 weeks! I understand her excitement ?It's her first grandchild as well, but I think it''s way to early and ?we want to choose styles that we like first.
When she asked how I was going to decorate the room... I just told her I had no idea and probably wouldn't think about it until October or November.?
Good luck to you!?
That is a very diplomatic approach!
Be grateful for her enthusiasm! And perhaps ask her if she would like to go shopping with you once you decide on any other items you need. I honestly have to say I am envious!
My MIL gave us a partial payment for the swing and provided a quilt. Baby 9 months old now and that is the grand total! No Christmas presents, no just because presents. And this is her first grandchild, but I feel like things will be oh so different if her daughter ever pops one out. That's just me being mean in one of the only forums it is allowed. sorry.