Have to vent, bear with me

MrsMSG · June 2009

Gals, I know a response might be hard to formulate, so please dn't feel obligated, but I just need to say this in a "safe" place...

Someone -- mind you, someone who has had two miscarriages of her own, and whom I have spoken openly with about the pain of loss -- says to me at church this morning (my first time back since Duncan's birth):

***as she sees me crying and being hugged by someone else, after she has ignored me earlier in the day..

"I'm sorry...I didn't realize you'd still be hurting."

I couldn't even respond. That comment encapsulated all the insensitive comments we've endured in the last 2 weeks...

"I don't understand why this is so hard for you, it's not like you haven't experienced loss before."

"At least you've gone through this before."

"This is just like your miscarriages, so you'll be over it in no time and can try again..."

Seriously, where do these people's brains go when they exit their heads?

lilyvalley · June 2009

Wow, Monica. I cannot believe how insensitive people are and at church no less! I am so sorry. You know that you have the right to grieve for as long as you need to but a little more support would certainly make life more bearable. I am sorry people suck, honey. {{HUGS}}

versed · June 2009

Just wow. I still cry for my losses two years later, nevermind delivering and losing a baby weeks ago. Wow. So sorry that you have to hear this sh!t.?

(((hugs)))?

ocean71506 · June 2009

OMG...seriously what is wrong with people. I still hurt from my losses and I do not think the pain will ever go away. I am so so sorry you have had to deal with such insensitivity. ((big hugs))

GenaAndJosh · June 2009

I wouldn't even know a response to write. the whole situation sucks, and the insensitive comments are really like adding salt to the wound.. why do some people even bother talking? {{hugs}}

FredsNey · June 2009

I'm sorry that you are dealing with such insensitive and hurtful comments; that's really terrible. I think a lot of people would do better to just stop at "I'm sorry."

::hugs::

Snugs99 · June 2009

WTF! I'm sorry that makes me angry and sad for you. If people don't know what to say, an "I'm sorry", "I'm thinking of you" is fine. ((hugs)) I'm so sorry you encountered that.

AB&TB · June 2009

(((Hugs)))

I am so sorry that you have to deal with dumb comments like these.

jaimeers18 · June 2009

You have all of us to go and kick her in the shins! ?I can't believe she would say that to you! ?You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

Ris9701 · June 2009

Oh wow...I can't believe that people would say such things to you!

I am so very sorry.

HUGE HUGE hugs.

pinkwedding05 · June 2009

Unbelievable. I still hurt for the babies I lost. I can't really even imagine what you've been through. Hugs, sweetie, people are stupid.

mrparsley07 · June 2009

You should never under any circumstance have to hear comments like that. Especially from someone who should know a little about your pain. I'm so sorry you have had to deal with such insensitive comments. (((BIG HUGS))) to you! I'm thinking of you always!

summerbridesara · June 2009

I truly can't imagine why people would say things like that to you. What insensitive idiots. I'm so sorry that you have to go through the pain of losing your beautiful baby boy AND the stupid comments from people. It's just not fair. (((hugs)))

rachelxx05 · June 2009

I am just so sorry..... People are such dumb fvcks.

(((hugs)))

justgnat · June 2009

OMG! really? I'm going to get my pointy shoes...

cherryblossom25 · June 2009

That's absolutely horrible. I am so sorry you are dealing with insensitive a-holes while grieving the loss of your son. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and sending you lots of love and ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))). I am just so sorry.

AngelsAmid · June 2009

I can't believe people are saying things to you. You've lost a child. This is NOT something you get over with. Just because you've had a loss before does NOT make another easier. If anything- probably harder. I'm SO sorry you had to hear that (huge hugs)

jennrg1019 · June 2009

(((Hugs))). I'm sorry.

chris21 · June 2009

I cannot believe you've had to hear these horrible comments, noone should. I am so sorry insensitive ppl are making your grieving process even hardrer.. (((HUGS))

ncsubride · June 2009

Angry

I am on my way with pointy shoes (I will get Kate a pair 2)!!!

Sueball1 · June 2009

Unbelievable. I would like to find these people who you speak of and punch them in the face.

Big hugs.

desik · June 2009

I am just lurking for parenting tips, but had to comment. I have never had a miscarriage and cannot imagine saying that to someone who has or has lost a child. Especially after becoming a mom. Today at church a family came to the front to be prayed for because she was 7 months pregnant and her baby passed. I tried to offer condolences and prayers and ended up crying myself in front of them. Then I felt bad for doing that to them. I do not understand people with no compassion.

SpartanGirl · June 2009

People never fail to amaze me. I'm sorry you have had to listen to such stupid, insensitive comments. ((((HUGS))))

Mrs.SPM · June 2009

WOW. That was at church? They should have turned around and sat back in their pew. They need to pray for forgiveness. I am sorry you had to even breathe the same air they were breathing. (((hugs)))

rowanthefrog · June 2009

I am continously shocked at how completely clueless and insensitive people can be. ?I am so so sorry that you have to experience that....after everything that you are going through.

BIG HUGE HUGS.

A?

valkaz · June 2009

That is awful. I'm so sorry you had to listen to those comments. I'm sure you handled yourself with the same grace you always do - but personally I would have found it hard to be civil to her after that.

MelissaSue81 · June 2009

OMG. I am SO sorry sweetie. I can't believe that people actually say things like that.. ugh..

SeminoleJessica · June 2009

People can be SO DUMB! You have every right to cry and grieve as long as you want. Sometimes if I see a miscarriage on TV or something I still get teary eyed a year later. Im so sorry.

It's not near as bad, but people have told me "oh you got pregnant when you just got off BCP? Oh that's what caused it." Thanks, I killed my baby. People are incredibly thick sometimes.

Skatcat · June 2009

I'm shaking my head. "At least you've gone through this before."

Wow. Just. Wow.

I'm sorry.

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