BFers - help a frustrated new mom out (LONG and XP)

somethingchangd · June 2009

DS was born at 36w with absolutely no desire to suck. From day 1 I was nursing more or less around the clock and he just wasn't thriving. It was a battle to get him to suck a handful of times in an hour. I EBF him for 5 days (while pumping every 3 hours per the LC - getting between 3 & 4.5 oz per session) before he became jaundiced and needed his feeds closely monitored and we switched to bottle feeding breastmilk. Over the past few days I've been trying to reintroduce the breast and he seems to be taking it fairly well, with the help of a shield.

However, regardless of how long/how much he sucks he never seems to get even vaguely full off the breast.

Tonight, for example, he ate 1.5 oz from the bottle (a usual feed is between 1 and 1.5 oz with an occassional 2 oz here and there) but still seemed hungry so I put him to the breast. He spent a total of 55 minutes nursing, sucking well. The shield was full of milk when I saw it and at one point he had milk running out of the corner of his mouth. I was due to pump, so I know my breasts were full. He came off the breast on his own, but when he did he immediately seemed hungry again. We offered another bottle and he polished off another ounce. He has never eaten 2.5 oz in a sitting, muchless with an hour off boob time inbetween. WTH?

I want to get him back on the breast - it was incredibly important to me to EBF. But if he is completely unsated after an hour of nursing AND 1.5 oz, I don't see how it's possible. What do you think is going on? Any guidance you can offer would be much appreciated. I'm feeling so frustrated by our BFing experience and it just makes me so sad.

Thanks for any input.

marriedgirl05 · June 2009

The only thing I can say is that he is right at the 10 day mark, which means he's due for a growth spurt. During those growth spurts they can put it away like crazy, so I can believe he would eat that much, even though he never has before. It's important that you keep nursing him so that he's able to increase your supply and you are able to keep up with him.

I know it's really frustrating, and I wish I could be more help. If I were you, I would definitely call the LC again tomorrow morning and ask for some more guidance. Good luck. I will be thinking about you.

LisaMarisa · June 2009

Maybe he is going through a growth spurt and starting to need more?

SeaSoul · June 2009

i'll be interested to see the responses you get on the BFing board. i'm so sorry for these frustrations! cal had a lot of trouble getting his latch at each session for weeks and i used a nipple shield to help. but still, it'd be several minutes before he'd finally be latched on well. it's like he just didn't have the confidence even though he got it right the first time! but your situation is different and i don't know much about it. i would guess, though, that since he has already had the bottle he gets what he needs a lot faster than at the breast. and it sounds like maybe what he's doing at the breast is more comfort sucking than full-on eating. i don't think the nipple shield should ever be full of milk, it should be going in his mouth. i wonder if it would be smart to take away the bottle altogether - slowly wean him - so he doesn't have that to rely on and has to work harder at the breast? good luck! i really hope you can keep up with it since you want to so badly!

alison43 · June 2009

My babe eats like that too, especially yesterday and today.

I let Avery nurse for an hour and when she came off, she looked satisfied...then I burped her and she was rooting around for more to eat immediately. She nursed another 15 minutes and finally fell asleep.

I hope there are some more good answers here.

MrsJeffsWife2B · June 2009

Don't worry, you are doing great!

It's called cluster feeding and it will happen on and off for the next few months. There were times when it seemed like he was attached to my boob round the clock. Just keep doing what you are doing, if there are any real problems it will be detected at his weigh ins

navyandviolet · June 2009

You are doing a great job, momma. It is so frustrating. I remember even when DD was 7 months old complaining to my mom that the biggest frustration with EBF is that you don't know if they are getting enough.

Your little guy is doing just what he is supposed to be doing. They go through growth spurts at 2, 4, 8, and 12 weeks as well as 4 months. They will eat all the time during this phase (and right before it to build your supply in prep) Let him keep at the breast whenever he is giving you the signals b/c this will increase your supply and give him enough to grow on.

Also I remember hearing once that a baby will always accept some milk from a bottle even if full. It is sort of like when I think I can't eat another bite but someone hands me a big piece of chocolate cake and somehow I find the room!

Also does he have a paci yet. I don't know if you are pro paci or not but DD would suck around the clock until I gave her one of those. (That being said she is still addicted to it so that will be a battle latter on) Even then she nursed every 1 to 2 hours round the clock until she was 15 weeks old. Some babies are hungry all the time, and that is ok.

Also check out www.kellymom.com for lots of bestfeeding info/support. Keep remembering not only does it get better, but you might even love it one day.

JGirl2005 · June 2009

I can tell you that BFing is the hardest thing I have ever done EVER. It is such a learning experience for mom and baby and although you would think it is natural as cats do it, it really is a learning process - not exact 2nd nature.

My DS was so sleepy at first - really sleepy and that really, really hurt my supply. Yeah I tried everything to wake him and my LC said 'that's one of the sleepiest babies I've ever seen'. Now, he won't sleep more than 2 hrs, so don't know what happened.

I just have to say keep doing what you are doing and supplement if you have to. I had to supplement a lot at the beginning as DS lost 9.5% of his weight and would have lost more HAD i not seen an LC before my 2wk checkup. I hated, hated, hated having to supplement, but I should have not beat myself up about it because it caused more stress in the long run.

As other poster said, he will likely be doing a growth spurt. When my DS took off, he was always eating more than I could give him and I was also feeding more than an hr and then it was time to feed him again. It is so, so hard in the beginning. Now, he sometimes takes 30min on 1 breast but mainly he is quick, but at the beginnign they eat soooooooooooo slowly. I wish I had just let him keep feeding because maybe it would have increased my supply, but no matter how much I fed him my supply never went up.

I had to supplement more than 50% at the beginning maybe almost 80%....now I supplement 0-4oz a day...not too bad. My LC would tell me not to give him formula, but he screamed for it and she couldn't believe how much he was eating (at the time, now he doesnt eat as much as I think he should). Are you seeing a LC? If not, do it. It was so worth it knowing how much he was getting. I paid extra $$ for them to come to my house with a scale and that helped know what he was getting.

My only advice is keep trying. BFing was so difficult and it has only gotten easier passed 2 months honestly, but I'm glad I stuck with it. I honestly didn't think I would make it 3wks. It sucks so much at the beginning. DS finally gets what he needs to do.

12106mrsmun · June 2009

MrsJeffsWife2B:

Don't worry, you are doing great!

It's called cluster feeding and it will happen on and off for the next few months. There were times when it seemed like he was attached to my boob round the clock. Just keep doing what you are doing, if there are any real problems it will be detected at his weigh ins

This is exactly what I was thinking too. It used to freak me out in the beginning because I didn't think she was getting enough milk, but sure enough, it was cluster feeding...and the occasional growth spurt. Hang in there Amber!!

JGirl2005 · June 2009

Yeah cluster feeding is so so hard, but it is needed for you to increase your supply. FWIW, my supply never increased much with doing any of that. I had to take a drug, reglan, and even that helped slightly....fenugreek and blessed thistle also helped but I don't take them anymore.

I also have to say that it does get better.

Oh and we had to introduce the bottle early too, but I also used an SNS (ask your LC aobut this). it is a supplemetnal nursing system. My LC let me buy one from her, but I also bought one online....it is a pain to use, but it really helped DS get formula but also stimulate the breast.

We had no problems with nipple confusion. He is still good at switching between.

SeaSoul · June 2009

i agree with pp that the frequency could very well be due to a growth spurt. i remember being beside myself when cal went through his 3-mo growth spurt. i could NEVER catch a break. he was always a frequent nurser so during growth spurts it was just out of control.

ESTH2000 · June 2009

MrsJeffsWife2B:
Don't worry, you are doing great!
It's called cluster feeding and it will happen on and off for the next few months. There were times when it seemed like he was attached to my boob round the clock. Just keep doing what you are doing, if there are any real problems it will be detected at his weigh ins

this and keep up the gerat job...it gets better DD comfurt nurses a lot so she is always attached to the boob but I'm ok with that..especially now that I'm workin...if I give her a bottle she drinks it all right away but at the boob she cluster feeds while comfort nursing...in the begining it was very frustrating..I felt like I could do anything but I didn't want her away from the boob since I wasn't sure how much she was getting...now things are sooo much better and I'm glad I didn't give up

efooey · June 2009

cluster feeding and the sns kit, dealt with both of those!

dd was not a good latcher so we used to sns to keep me from cracking and bleeding until she figured it out. ?Ask an LC! ?At the one LC appt we needed (After we left he hospital) we brought her in hungry, weighed her, I started to feed her, LC checked the latch etc and then when she started to pull off we weighed her again to make sure she really was getting something. ?Worked great.

?DD was a major cluster feeder, from 6pm-10pm I sat on the couch with the baby, couldn't do anything else. ?In our case it was followed by a long sleeping period which was a good payoff. ?She would sleep from 10-5 or 6 as a newborn! ?

GL!

E?

sept04brideinMD · June 2009

I don't have any words of advice - just keep trucking along. It sounds like you're doing everything you know how to do & can do. EBF is tough, even for a full-term baby. The first 2-3 weeks are the toughest anyway...good luck. I know this is frustrating

GretchenlovesMichael · June 2009

ditto the cluster feeding and the comfort nursing. i know it can be so frustrating not knowing how much they are getting, but as long as you're seeing enough wet & poopy dipes, you are golden. i would let the bottles go for a day and pay attention to the dipes, if you feel comfortable enough to do that. the fact that he is sucking is key, and i'm SO happy that he is taking to the breast!!

on the nipple sheild front, JUST my experience - the sheild, while it seemed like it would help with DD's latch for me (DS was fine from the start) it actually seemed to make it worse, and more complicated for sure. we ditched it after one session, and while it was sometimes a long process of getting her latched on (with tears from both of us) it was worth her learning and after a week or two she was a champ. i don't know much about nipple sheilds, having only used one that one time, but it may be worth trying without it.... idk.

honey i am SO PROUD of you - you are a rock star and you are doing an awesome awesome job!!!

MarksGrrl · June 2009

You've gotten some great responses that I think are spot on. I will add though, that if you're concerned about how much DC is getting you might think about doing a pre and post weight to see exactly what's being ingested.

Put baby on a scale right before feeding (it must be an accurate baby weight scale), take the weight, nurse baby, then weigh baby immediately after nursing (don't change a diaper, don't take any socks/hat/onesie/etc off). The difference between the two weights will tell you exactly how many grams or ounces baby ate.

This did wonders for easing my mind in the early days. Good job Mama, keep it up!

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