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xp-if you have more than one child....

mlc92404mlc92404
in Parenting

DS is 14 months and the other night DH and I were talking about #2.  Neither of us is ready for #2 but we got to talking about age difference.  If we wait too long will it be harder on the children?  DH would be happy if we didn't have any more kids but at the same time agrees that DS probably shouldn't be an only child.  DH would never be against having #2.  I am 29 this year and DH will be 33, so even if we did wait 3 years I would only be 32 (which I would be fine with). 

So, tell me all the pluses and minuses to having kids close in age and having them farther apart.  I of course don't want to get pg when we aren't ready just to have them close in age but at the same time I don't want to wait and then decide and don't want them that far apart.  I really do want a #2.
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Re: xp-if you have more than one child....

  • DandelionMomDandelionMom
    I like the 3 year age gap.  My girls still play nicely together (most of the time) but are far enough apart that I didn't have more than one baby at once.  Pluses to that age gap: your oldest is usually potty trained, fairly independent, often in preschool, and can even help out a bit (fetching pacifiers, playing peek-a-boo, etc). 
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  • mags2041mags2041
    Eh, I never really concerned myself with age differences.  I just didn't want my kids closer than 3yrs apart because I thought that would be hard on me.  I am 8yrs older than one brother and 14yrs older than another.  We are super close and never had any fighting growing up.  Its almost like we grew up as only children who are really good friends because of our age difference.  MH and his brother are 3yr9mo apart and they fought constantly as children but are now good friends.
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  • mlc92404mlc92404

    imagemags2041:
    Eh, I never really concerned myself with age differences.  I just didn't want my kids closer than 3yrs apart because I thought that would be hard on me.  I am 8yrs older than one brother and 14yrs older than another.  We are super close and never had any fighting growing up.  Its almost like we grew up as only children who are really good friends because of our age difference.  MH and his brother are 3yr9mo apart and they fought constantly as children but are now good friends.

    My sister and I were 6 years apart and are really close now but growing up was hard because she always wanted to be involved when I had friends over and I didn't want her around

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  • pincushionspincushions

    Mine are 15m apart.

    I would have waited until Miles was 3 to start TTC. Knowing what I know now.

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  • CubbyMamaCubbyMama
    Mine are 2.5 years apart, and DH and I agree that we would never want kids any closer together than this.  I imagine it's easier still if they're 3-4 years apart and the older one is in preschool, and soon kindergarten, while the younger one is still little.
    image
    Kiwi Fruit, 10.2.06 & Ellie Bug, 4.5.09

    My blog: Bear With Us
    Ideas on Teaching Your Toddler/Preschooler at Home

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  • emiliemadisonemiliemadison member

    imageDandelionMom:
    I like the 3 year age gap.  My girls still play nicely together (most of the time) but are far enough apart that I didn't have more than one baby at once.  Pluses to that age gap: your oldest is usually potty trained, fairly independent, often in preschool, and can even help out a bit (fetching pacifiers, playing peek-a-boo, etc). 

    I agree with this. Our kids are 2.5 years apart and our "aim" was 2.5-3 years apart. I think it's ideal for all the reasons above.  We would have been fine with more than 3 years difference, but 2 years or less was not something we felt like we wanted.

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