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Working Moms
Working Mom vs. SAHM
I dont know why I get so burned up about my SIL. I work FT and she is a SAHM ... who thinks she is so much better than me ... making comments about how she can not believe I am going back to work and how I will miss out on things. Who does she think she is!!!! Maybe I like working .. making money ... and providing for my family. I am not bashing SAHM's but she is a piece of work. She has always been lazy ... and always made comments on how she could not wait to get married ... have kids right away (was pregnant before they got married) ... and stay at home. While her husband is never home working all the time! I hate how she "trys" to degrade me. And we live in the same frickin town!!! GRRRR. I want to move!!! Anyone else have to deal with this??
Vent over 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Working Mom vs. SAHM
being a working mom you need to have 100% confidence in your choice to work - bc there will always be a-holes out there that tell you what you are doing is wrong/bad, etc.... family and non-family alike.
If you are secure in your choice to work and your parenting - then it won't matter what others say.
I can honestly say that when people make comments like this it makes me laugh - i don't get angry at all - i simply laugh at their ignorance.
I am a better mom b/c i work and a better emplyee b/c i'm a mom. I get the best of both worlds - a career and a family... I am my own person AND a mom and wife. I know who I am and what I like and I'm proud of that woman.
When you feel this way - nobody can hurt you with their stupid comments.
And FWIW - as far as missing out on things- i can tell you that my son took his first steps at daycare - but i was no less proud of him when I saw him take his first steps in front of me... It really didn't bother me that i missed the true "first" b/c when I saw him do it- it made me so happy and proud - and THAt is all that matters.
I used to be a K teacher and i worked in daycare for a few years, too... I can 100% tell you that no matter how many hours a child spends at daycare- it will never replace the time they get with their parents... kids will always learn more from their parents (assuming you spend quality time with them when you are with them and are not a sh!tty parent, lol).
As a teacher- i WISH i could un-teach some of the things kids learned from theri parents- but you just can't... the parental bond is something that can't be broken- no matter if you work or not.
I agree with goldie.... criticism is frustrating, and usually is an attempt to boost up the person tossing it... $10 says she gets crap from someone for sah... you cannot win, and you cannot criticize in order to make yourself feel better (hopefully she'll learn this eventually). When I did sah full time, I had one friend who constantly criticized, how boring it must be, what do you do all day, etc. you cannot win. you just do what you have to or want to, what you feel is best for your family and let the comments roll off your back.
I agree with Goldie - you need to figure out why this is upsetting you so much and then find a way to let it go. Be happy and confident with your choices as they are what is best for you and your family.
And tell your stupid SIL that you think it is wonderful that you both live in a world where women have choices. The end.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
I'm sorry to hear that your SIL is upsetting you. I got a lot of comments from my twins club when I mentioned I was going to return to work last year. After thinking about it, I realized that most of the women making comments had no careers to return to and no career aspirations. In addition, they were completely dependent on their husbands!
One thing I like having about a career is that no matter what happens, I will always be able to provide for my children. I also really like my job and want a part of my life to be outside of my children.
It sounds like you are confident in your decision to return. Unfortunately, no matter where you go, you'll always get these comments!
Honestly, some women aren't career women and just plain don't want to work and that's ok. Your SIL should just own that be happy with her life. Other women truly believe that having a parent at home is the only way to go. I don't agree, but I respect that. The issue comes in when women (and men) start passing judgements on the choices of others. Whenever I hear this crap from a SAHM or her husband I just say, 'Think about how few opportunities your daughter would have if all women dropped out of the workforce when they had children. It would be back to the 1940s. Thank goodness for her that working Moms are keeping the doors propped open and continue pushing for equal pay.'.
That usually shuts them up fast.
I have found when anyone is trying to "prove" how happy they are it means they are miserable or regretting their decision. So I guess just tell yourself that. She may be a bit degrading, but I guess find comfort in the fact that she feels the need to dig at you because she maybe doesn't feel great for her decision.
I am also a bit sensitive about the working mom vs SAHM debate because it makes me angry to think someone thinks they are being a better mom than me because they work. I have just had to learn to not let it get under my skin.