Would you? Do you?

MaxOrTori · June 2009

I have been looking into 2nd shift jobs so that I could stay with the baby during the day, and DH could watch the baby in the evenings.

Does anyone currently work an opposite shift of DH? How does it work for you?

For those of you who don't, would you consider it? Why or why not?

I know the biggest issue will be the fact that we won't see eachother very much unless its the weekend.

Jessis62781 · June 2009

I have considered it and if the opportunity came along I probably would do it.

WriterChick24 · June 2009

I think you have to do what is right for you. Every couple is different. I worked second shift before I knew DH when I was in college and there were many married people on my shift who had kids and seemed to be managing just fine. Maybe you could go into it with an exit plan; say you'll do it for six months and if it just isn't working you'll move to plan B.

mrsmacias2008 · June 2009

When DH and I first met we both worked nights which was great because we would meet eachother at 1 a.m. or so for breakfast.

then i changed to days. that was hard on us because I would literally see him for about 10 minutes when I got off work and he had to go in. I personally didn't like it. We now work about the same time but he's off by 3 and I get home around 4:30. Do you and him currently work the same shifts right now?

RachelG83 · June 2009

I have and it is hard. The first year we were married I was teaching and he was working as a manager @ AE so we practically NEVER saw each other. How he's a bank teller so we're on the same schedule. We're currently both working 2 jobs but it's not as bad - neither of us have that many hours at the PT job.

Mysterious_wife · June 2009

We did for a while. I went to work at 5 am and then school following work. He went to work at 1 pm and got off at 10 pm. He had odd days off. Mon and Tue or Thur and Friday. I had Sat and Sun off. He was also in school online. He would take DD to daycare around 9 am and do school work. He saw her all of 2 hours a day if lucky and I would see her for 4 hours. We NEVER saw each other. I was already going to bed by the time he got home. I was getting up when he was headed to bed. I hated it, but had to work to pay for child care.

I personally would not do it again.

oh-zysbaby · June 2009

I did this when DD was a baby and it worked for me. I was able to be with her until she was about 3, which was wonderful. I was in a TERRIBLE relationship at the time, so the lack of time with my SO was not a problem, in fact we split up when she was 15 months old so for half of it I was on my own anyway. I think NOW, this would be much harder, I would REALLY miss DH.

I think it can be done but there would have to be a VERY conscious effort to make sure you spent time together.

lecooke · June 2009

I couldn't do this personally. But I hope you can find something that works for you!

MaxOrTori · June 2009

mrsmacias2008:
Do you and him currently work the same shifts right now?

I am actually unemployed at the moment, but yes, prior to being let go, we worked 1st shift.

However, in both our jobs (my past job) we'd work occassional evenings and weekends - so its not like we are used to spending a ton of time together. Still, I know this wouldn't be the same.

mrsadamc 05 · June 2009

My BFF in high school's mom was an ICU nurse overnight. It worked out great for them. She was able to be with the kids in the morning and when they got home from school. If we had jobs where you could do that we would. (I teach and he is in business).

LindsG81 · June 2009

I haven't personally, but my parents did when I was a baby. My mom worked days and my dad worked the graveyard, because they didn't have friends/family around that could watch me, and my mom didn't want to do daycare.

She said it was really hard because they didn't see each other very much. They basically had to schedule time with each other in advance. But she said in the end she was happy they did it that way, because she was doing what she felt was best for me.

mrsmacias2008 · June 2009

hmmm...well, i would talk to him more and see what he thinks. (if you haven't already)

Also, maybe try it and when you do start working again find out if maybe it's possible to work the second shift for that time, see if it works, and if it doesn't then you are able to switch back.

staycee · June 2009

I know a couple who did this for like 7 years while their 3 boys were little.

They said it was hard, but they were committed going into that situation to make it work.

MaxOrTori · June 2009

mrsmacias2008:

hmmm...well, i would talk to him more and see what he thinks. (if you haven't already)

Also, maybe try it and when you do start working again find out if maybe it's possible to work the second shift for that time, see if it works, and if it doesn't then you are able to switch back.

DH is fine with it. He jokes he will just go with the baby to his mom's house. lol

MaxOrTori · June 2009

Thank you ladies! You've given me a lot to think about.

swimrbride · June 2009

We will hopefully do something similar to this next summer. I work part time, 2.5 days a week. DH is a teacher so he has the summers off, but it is also nice to have that extra money in the summers. So if we can get it worked out I will be working my days while he stays home then the days that I am home he will be working. Now we just have to get to that point!

MsBeaglesly · June 2009

Right now DH goes to school at 6a.m then off to work at 3pm to 1a.m Mon - Thurs and on Fridays works from 6-10a.m. I work 8-5.m-f. We have agreed that since he works so much he can have friday afternoons for himself and then friday night through Mon a.m we work as a team do the housecleaning, shopping, errands. He will be done w/ school in Sept (i hope) and will keep the work schedule so he can be home w/ baby a lot. Works for us because we sat down and told each other our expecations of what the other person was responsible for and when we would be seeing each other. Hope that made sense.

Anna&Matt · June 2009

I don't think I would but if it works for you then I say go for it! For us the more likely thing to happen would be for one of us to stay home full time.?

clm530 · June 2009

My mom is a nurse and did that for a few years when my brother and I were young. There are definitely good and bad with it, but over all I think it was a great thing. We always had a parent there and never went to day care...not that day care is a bad thing.

DNK777 · June 2009

I am currently trying to find a pt job in the evening. If we didn't need the money, I wouldn't. I like spending our evenings as a family.

HellsBelle08 · June 2009

We did this for the first year-it sucked, but it's do-able. I honestly wouldn't recommend it as an ideal situation, though. DH worked 6-2:30, w/a hour commute each way, I worked 4:15-1am w/a hour commute each way.

The Pros:

You get to be home w/the baby!

No daycare costs

Easy to make dr appts, get food shopping and errands done when it isn't a madhouse

The Cons:

NEVER seeing your DH during the week, except when he's asleep

Major sleep deprivation-DS was actually a good sleeper, but since he slept from about 730pm-6am, that meant 4 hours of sleep a night for mommy. After a while, it really wears on you. I feel like I aged a lot this year! I actually started nodding out sometimes I my way home from work-NOT GOOD. Plus, I was so tired during the day that I didn't want to clean, run errands, or even actively play w/DS-I just wanted to sit on the couch and zone out!

I recently went from a F/T Mon-Fri schedule to a 3 day a week (Mon, Tues, Thurs) P/T schedule, keeping the same hours-it's made a huge difference! This schedule is working well for us now, I can see my DH more and we have more family time, and I can get some more sleep. I could pull off the f/t night shift when DS was small, but once he got mobile I was DONE. The exhaustion got to be too much! If you could pull off part time hours, I think opposite shifts is a great option!

LoveBeingAWife33008 · June 2009

I work days and my husband works nights.

It is very hard. Lonely. It sucks. ?I would give anything to have him have the same hours as me...and we don't have a baby! We do it because we must pay the bills but I hate it. ?I cry a lot because he isn't home :-(

nlvaden · June 2009

My Dh works 3rd. Don't do it. It could wreck your relationship.

Want a personalized experience?

Would you? Do you?

Re: Would you? Do you?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards