Parenting after a Loss

Need some reassurance re: labor/birth

I'm to the point I'm terrified and freaking myself out. I'm at the point that I feel like I can't and don't want to do this. (Little late now, huh? LOL) Any words of wisdom or things that you did that helped you?? TIA
~Jess & Mike May 12, 2007
12.6.07 CP at 5w
5.21.08 BO discovered at 7w, D&E at 8w3d
8.31.08 CP at 4w5d
BFP Sept 25, 2008 bfp buddy lkstor Landon born June 6, 2009
3.25.11 missed m/c discovered at 9w6d, D&E at 10w2d
4.28.11 MTHFR a1298c homozygous discovered
4.2011 Began NaProTechnology
10.12.11 Diagnosed with Type III Luteal Phase Defect
10.2011 Starting hcg injections on 5, 7 & 9 dpo
BFP 12.7.11 - EDD 8.14.12 - IT'S A BOY! Fruit Baby
Life During and After RPL
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Need some reassurance re: labor/birth

  • some words of encouragment? you will be holding your little man when it's all over. :)
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  • First off, I can't believe you're 39 weeks!  Yay!

    I felt the same way, but once everything starts, those feelings went out of the window for me.  You'll be surprised when the time comes, all of those fears leave.

    Best of luck!!!

  • I know how you feel. I remember standing in the bathroom leaking amniotic fluid everywhere thinking "I am not ready" and stil wondering exactly "HOW" the baby was supposed to get out. And then when the nurse told me to push and I just looked at her and said "now?, I'm not ready"

    I was super scared and then everything was so much easier than I had imagined. I just kept reminding myself that I and everyone one else got here some how so it does work.

    Good Luck and just keep your eye on outcome, your beautiful baby! It's all SOOO worth it.

  • I know it is clich? but once you see your baby it will be all worth it :)

    Good luck and make sure to update us when you can!

  • Hey I just notice we got married on the same day, Happy belated 2 year anniversary!
  • It's funny b/c even when I was in labor I was still saying "I'm terrified to push!".  From my experience labor & birth was not NEAR as bad as I expected it to be.  I actually thought it was an amazing and wonderful experience.  Did it hurt a little?  Sure.  But, to see your beautiful baby in the end is more than worth it.  You're so close, GL!
  • I remember thinking "I can't do this." But you know what to do, and it all seems to pass so fast, in no time you will be holding you little one!!
  • It is THE MOST INCREDIBLE thing you will ever experience. Just try to accept that you have to get it out (you don't really have a choice, right?) so you might as well try to enjoy it! You'll only get to do this a few times in your whole life. It truly is the most amazing miracle. GL!
  • Most people I know both on here and in real life--- with only a few exceptions-- say that labor and delivery was better than what they had imagined. I know I was definitely in that category.

     Plus, like pp have said, sooooo worth it to hold that baby after!! Good luck! :) 

  • I cried when we got to L&D and I realized this was it. I was so used to them stopping my labor that it was no big deal until I came to the realization that this time would be different. I was terrified but my delivery was a piece of cake. It was so laid back that DH and I were laughing with the MD/RNs, watching tv and having a great time. You will be fine!!!
  • I remember when I was ready to push with DD, DH grabbed my hand and I looked at him and said, "I am so scared."  What helped me was to make sure I fully understood everything that was happening/they were doing to me.  Make them tell you what is going on and involve you in the decisions.  But on the other hand, I had to know when it was out of my hands and I had to relinquish control: my induction failed and I ended up with a c-section.  When they put me on the table to start, I had to focus on calming myself and realizing that the OB had it all under control from then on.

    I know that mine is not the cheery "I went into labor, pushed and a baby came out" story, sorry!

  • In your mind, it is worse than it will actually be.  When you're in the moment, you are so focused on meeting your baby that you can do anything.  Just think, it can't be *that* bad or people wouldn't still be having babies!  Good luck to you!!
    DD1 - 12.25.05
    (m/c 1.17.07, m/c 5.15.07)
    DS - 03.15.08
    DD2 - 12.03.09
    DD3 - 3.28.11
  • Some of the mantras that I used throughout my pregnancy and labor were:

    "I am the exact right parent for this child and this child is the exact right child for me."

    "Inhale comfort, exhale discomfort/pain."

    And my favorite... "I have everything I need to birth this baby."

     You can do it! Big Hugs and good luck.

  • I listened to a hypnobirthing CD in preparation and one mantra of sorts was that each "pressure wave" brings you one step closer to meeting your baby. ?Though it was cheesy to hear before labor, it really did help to remind me during labor that I was working towards something.

    We all have fears going into labor, but I think most of them are because this is something totally new. ?When contractions started I was shocked at how similar they felt to pms cramps; I remember thinking "wow, this is familiar. ?I can do this," once it started, despite being totally scared beforehand.??

  • It really isn't that bad, imo.  I am looking forward to the next time I get to do it honestly.  The moment you see your baby the first time...it truly is a miracle.  You will see!
    imageimageimageimageimage 9/07 m/c baby boy @ 18wks, 4/09 m/c @ 4.5wks
  • Sweetie, I was terrified.  I cried & cried b/c I was so scared.  And that started when I was 7 months pg, so I had built it up to be this awful experience.  I think we have hormones or something though, that kick in when it's time, b/c yeah, it hurt, but I made it through.  I just got really quiet & "in my head" w/the contractions & thought about my mom & my grandma & the millions of other women who have gone through labor.  It's like joining this sisterhood once you've gone through it & it is truly amazing.  Of course, like others have said, holding your LO for the 1st time makes it SOOOOO worth it.  You really do forget all the negatives & fall in love like you've never imagined.  GL & see you over here soon!!!
  • You can do it!!!

    When the time comes your mind doesn't go to "fear" it goes somewhere else!!  Just keep in mind that you will be holding your little one soon!!!!

  • if i can make it through labor and being at the hospital, anyone can.  i faint at the eye dr, i get lightheaded at any kind of gory movie (including Tropic Thunder, funny but too gory) so i was TERRIFIED of actually having a baby.  i know exactly what you feel like,  but let me tell you, all of the things that i thought were gonna hurt, didnt.  i had cervadil for 12 hours- didnt hurt, epidural-didnt hurt, them breaking my water- didnt hurt, putting in the internal moniter- didnt hurt, getting a catheter- didnt hurt. the worst was the IV!!!! :)  if you think about it as being such a short time in your life of pain and that it will be over soon, you can do it.  i was so scared to push, but if you just give it your all at each contraction, your LO will be here before you know it.  i promise.  i was in a completely different mindset once i got to the hospital.  its amazing what kind of stregnth you can pull from.  you will do great- i promise!! 

  • just remember that the pain of labor is temporary and you get the most fabulous reward at the end. 

    and one word. EPIDURAL.

  • One thing... as soon as I was holding my little one in my arms I forgot about all of the pain (until I woke up the next morning and had to go to the restroom :))

    It's so worth it... worth it enough to tell DH that I'd do it again two days after giving birth. 

    Married 6-30-07, BFP 9-1-07, M/C & D&C 10-5-07, BFP #2 6-20-08, BFP #3 3-28-2010 Mommy to Ethan born 2-22-09 7lbs 13.5oz & 21" long SAL Buddy to March04b2b imageFamily Blog|Food Blog
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