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3rd Trimester
PSA: Mom in delivery room
So DH and I have decided that we just want it to be the two of us in the delivery room for the actual birth. I'm fine with my mom and a few other family members coming in during my early labor. I have not discussed this with my mom and she has not brought it up either, but I am wondering if I should let her know of our wishes ahead of time so she is prepared, or just wait and let it come up at the hospital. I feel bad b/c I am an only child, but I really want DH and I to share the moment together. I'm sure my mom will understand, but I don't know if I should bring it up now or not....
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Re: PSA: Mom in delivery room
If she's expecting to be in there, then you need to tell her now.
But if she hasn't brought it up or said anything to you about being in there, then I wouldn't worry.
Or you can just casually tell her.... GL!
You and be both
i would never have my parents in the room with us. seems weird to me. my dad is sitting right here with me and i asked if mom would want to be there and he made a face like no way.
the less people the better. let the medical staff do there job without having to deal with your family drama.
I'm kind of in the same situation. I'm not an only child but I AM the only daughter and she's the only family member who will be here around my due date because our families live in MI and she's flying down to be here the week I'm due. Now, if I end up having the baby when she's not here I won't have a problem! I know in the past she has said that she wants to be in the room when I deliver and I've always been like, "No way" lol... but I can't remember if any such conversation has come up since I became pregnant. I don't think it has.
I don't even know if I want her in there while I'm in labor, to be honest. I'm not getting an epi or anything so I guess that's just one of those things where I'll have to see how I feel. She doesn't seem to be very supportive of my choice to go med-free so I can't imagine she would be much help anyway. She would probably just piss me off, lol. I will probably not say anything to her unless she asks about it and if that point never comes then I guess she will be finding out at the hospital, lol. If she drives me to the hospital then she can be with me until DH gets there but that's it.
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three
i don't think the OP understands what PSA means.
that being said - if you think your mom expects to be there- then let her know what your plans are. My mom never expected to be there and was quite surprised when i asked her if she would LIKE to be there (we only wanted her and nobody else). Not all moms expect to be there.... it certainly was not common back when they had kids- sometimes teh dads weren't even in there.
you are a grown up now- you need to tell your family what you want - when it comes to your child especially... it will only be worse when the child is born and everyone tries to tell you what to do with your kid. They need to know now that it's YOUR child, YOUR life, YOUR marriage- and that YOU will make decisions.
I was concerned with how my mom would react to DH and I wanting to be alone for the delivery, I wasn't sure if she would want to be in there or not. On Easter, somehow we started talking about people being in the delivery room and I took the bait and announced that DH and I have decided to share the experience alone. My mom was very supportive and said that she agreed with our choice. It was a relief.
Just talk to your mom about your plans, hopefully she'll understand.
::dies::
Get out of my brain!
This.
I told my mom in advance because I know she thought it was going to be a free for all. Why she thought that I don't know... Probably because she had 20 people in the room for our births. Crazy woman.
Um, yeah, this.
i'm not going to be much help because I don't understand how, as an adult, you are scared to say no to your Mom or anyone else in your family.
You are the one giving birth so if you only want YH with you then say so.
I would be straight up with mom about your wishes now.
(This is long): As to feeling guilty b/c you're an only child or the only daughter or whatever: I am the only child, as is DH, but nonetheless it will only be me and him throughout the entire process. Both sets of parents are aware of this and have accepted that this is OUR plan for OUR birth. You and DH have to do what YOU want, not what your parents may want.
Both of us were born in Germany, away from family in the States, so our parents have no issue with us not having any family around until after I give birth - and if they did have an issue with it, they know that they have no room to talk (moms' moms offered to fly to Germany - or in my mom's case, demanded that mom "come home to Missouri" to have the baby, LOL - and everyone declined).?
Personally, I think our parents would be more of a distraction than anything else. I would be OK with my mom, but my dad doesn't like seeing me in pain or in the hospital to begin with (poor man - he's 6'4" and built like a linebacker, but cannot stand seeing his daughter go through anything), FIL always needs to be throatpunched, and MIL would just say stupid stuff to encourage me to have an epidural. So, we won't see anyone until after they move me and Allie to the mother-baby floor.?