Success after IF

I will never be pregnant again ...

Sorry for the downer, but I think I'm just starting to come to terms with this.  I know it's a grieving process... and I think I've crossed over into the anger phase.  I just feel like I've been robbed.  Robbed of the choice to have more kids or not. (recap: had to have an emergency hysterectomy after giving birth.)  I see all these TTC #2 posts and it just makes me soooo sad because I know I'll never get to do this.  It's so not fair.  It's just NOT fair.  I'm crying now as I type this.  I'm so angry. 

Ugh.  We built our house (back in 2005) thinking we'd have a houseful of kids someday.  Now I have two empty bedrooms upstairs just reminding me of who isn't going to live in them.  Sure honey,  I'd love to turn one into a gym. 

I know we can adopt or use a surrogate since I still have ovaries.  But, for right now, I'm just going to be pissed.  

Thanks for reading, if you have this far.  I just don't know where else to go to vent.  sniff, sniff 


After THREE years, our IVF miracle is here!!!
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Re: I will never be pregnant again ...

  • {{Hugs}}  you have a right to vent/grieve....I think that's completely normal given your circumstances.
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  • I can't imagine your pain.  It really isn't fair.  I'm so sorry.

    (((((((hugs))))))))

  • You're right.  It's not fair!

    So sorry.

  • I'm so sorry :(. I can imagine it would be so hard to lose that possibility, grieving it is totally normal & expected but it doesnt make it any easier.

    Treat yourself to something today :)!!!!!?

  • Absolutely no reason to apologize to us!  I'm sorry that you have to go through this.  None of it is fair! 
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  • I remember when you posted about your hysterectomy.  That was scary and sad.  I am sorry you can't have more babies :(

    ((Hugs))

  • I'm sorry! You have every right to be angry. I can't even imagine. (((HUGS)))
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  • I am so sorry...HUGS
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  • you took the words right out of my mouth.

    I'm very sad too (for both of us.) 

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  • You have every right to be upset and angry....I am so sorry.
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  • I'm so sorry.  You do have the right to grieve. 

    It's really not fair what any of us have had to go through.  I wish you much joy with the baby you do have.

  • ((Hugs)) it really isn't fair. I'm so sorry.?
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  • That is a very real loss.  I'm so sorry that happened to you.  Hugs!
  • It totally sucks and is completely unfair.  You have every right to be angry.  I'm so, so sorry sweetheart.  Hugs.
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  • I am so sorry.....you have every right to be hurt and angry.....I hope over time it gets a little easier.
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    After a loss at 13wks and years dealing with IF and failed treatments (3 failed IUI and 1 failed IVF), we have been blessed with DS (surprise BFP) and now his little sister (2nd round of clomid and TI) on her way. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker image
  • I am so sorry. ?You have every right to feel anything you want to and it is all totally normal. ?Sending you (((HUGS))) and prayers.
  • I am SO sorry and feel like such a jerk for being upset over TTC #2. I am so sad for you and pray for peace. Please take care.
    It took over four years to be diagnosed with PCOS. We TTC #1 for 18 months, did 5 rounds of Clomid and finally moved onto IVF...which worked! Throughout our IF journey, we suffered 3 miscarriages. We conceived both DD and DS without treatment.
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  • My physical issues are different, but I am also sad and angry that I will never be pregnant again either. I also feel robbed. I LOVED being pregnant and it never occurred to me that it would never happen for me again. So big hugs to you - I truly sympathize.
    Unexplained. IVF#2 worked! Beta at 10dp6dt = 154, Beta at 13dp6dt = 603 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagelolalillie:
    I am SO sorry and feel like such a jerk for being upset over TTC #2. I am so sad for you and pray for peace. Please take care.

    This is in no way a response to you being upset.  Please don't feel like a jerk!!  

    After THREE years, our IVF miracle is here!!!
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  • you have a right to be angry. I'm so sorry.
  • epphdepphd member
    I'm really sorry - I don't blame you at ALL for being angry.  What you went through was not only emotionally, but physically devestating, and it makes sense that your grief will be long lived.  And while this is probably little consolation - if you do decide to continue family building via adoption or surrogacy, this process of grieving is critical - you are doing hard work in preparation of any decision that you make.  Don't feel like you don't have every right to cry and be angry.
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    I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
  • I'm so sorry.  You have every right to be angry/sad/mad about it.  I don't post a ton, but I remember when you posted about your emergency hysterectomy and it really made me think about how I'd feel if I ended up in that situation.  Turns out, it's a good thing I did because I was about 2 minutes from having one after my boys were born.  They did an uterine artery embolization instead.  It most likely means I'll never be pregnant again. I'm just beginning to come to terms with this idea and it totally sucks.  We weren't sure we wanted more, but it totally stinks to have the choice taken away.  I can only imagine how tough it is for you.

    All that just to say I'm sorry and you'll be in my thoughts.

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    After a PCOS dx, 18 months of trying, 3 rounds of clomid and 2 follistim IUIs our babies are here!
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  • I am so sorry! Hugs!
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    Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin. Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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  • *hugs*
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  • I'm sorry.  I can't imagine -- you definitely deserve to take as much time as you need to grieve.  (((HUGS)))

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  • Never say never. ((hugs))
    TTC#1=Feb 2009: 50 mg Clomid+Ovidrel shot+Metformin+Dexamethasone+TI=BFP!
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    TTC#2=July 2011: Surprise BFP: Chemical Pregnancy
  • I am so sorry, that must be so difficult. :::::::::hugs::::::::::::
  • I'm sorry sweetie.  I like to think I might have another child, but for many reasons, it's very unlikely.  The TTC #2 and/or BFP with #2 or 3 make me sad too.

    I try to hang on to the fact that I *did* get to experience pregnancy, and it was wonderful.  And I got my little guy - something I wasn't sure would ever happen.  But I want more too.  It's tough.  Hugs to you. 

    Wheee!
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    "When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame

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  • ((HUGS)) I am so sorry!
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