(Twins Related) Very frustrated...
franciscaz
member
I have advanced RA and so I have a lot of pain all of the time. For some weird reason my left shoulder got whacked out. I'm in so much pain. I can't sleep. I've been to the hospital twice and the first time they ignored me. This time they figured out my shoulder is messed up today (2nd trip) and it is affecting my whole arm (my hand is now really swollen and I can't lay down b/c of the pain) but b/c I am so pregnant they can't do anything except give me Vicodin. I see another specialist in the nearby city tomorrow.
In the mean time my jerk of a DH (he really isn't a jerk but tonight it feels as if he is) starting whining how this whole thing ruined his weekend! Oh gee I'm sorry, how in the line of duty of carrying your two unborn children and battling a serious diesease go and get sick like this. Than he started to complain b/c I asked him to go to work early and take 7:30 to 8:00 off so he could get Harmon to my brother's home in the neighboring small town (who has kindly volunteered on his day off to watch his brat). He flew off the handle and isn't talking to me. Oh and he is also complaining when I asked him to take some time off of work for the babies when they are born. Gee how dare I?
UGH! I feel like crap physically and mentally... it makes me half tempted to take the dang Vicodin! Why do grown loving men become such self-absored jerks when it is least convienient?
Re: (Twins Related) Very frustrated...
Oh dear this is not the time for this for you! What a poop he is being, but I have a feeling he will come around. All I can say regarding the pain is to take the vicodin. I had terrible gall bladder pain, (probably nothing compared to you) when pg. with ds. I was given a few different pain meds, an ddid not want to take them, but in the end, they would not have been prescribed if it was not safe. I was told by my ob that the hormones released by being in pain are almost worse than the drugs on the baby.
Hang in there, and your DH will come around!
Oh my goodness! This calls for a letter to your DH...
~ ~ ~
Dear Mr. Francisca:
Why are you being such a nincompoop tonight? You have no idea what it's like to be pregnant, and the aches and pains that go along with that, let alone pregnant with two beautiful kiddos and have RA! Now that you threw your tantrum, you need to muscle-up and apologize to your dear wifeypoo and tell her how much you love her and appreciate the most-difficult job she is doing FOR YOU by carrying YOUR unborn children while in pain! Say "I'm sorry" and give her a big hug. Stop being a poophead, dude!
Love,
Francisca's Nestie Besties
I am sorry you are having a hard time Hon. Take the vicodin!!! One of the frst things the RE said to me when she handed over the prescription is that it's safe to take if I get pg. Use what they give you if that is the only thing you can take at this point. Pain management is half the battle. It may only take the edge off but that is better than nothing right?
I don't have much advice besides sitting down and talking to DH. Tell him how you feel without getting emotional or angry. Lay down the facts. You are not only pg with twins you are suffereing an absurd amount of pain from your RA and you need help.
Why do grown loving men become such self-absored jerks when it is least convienient?
I would wager that he is stressed out and hates seeing you in pain and not being able to do anything about it himself. It wouldn't surprise me if he is upset on some level that you have painkillers and refuse to take them. Men process things differently. It doesn't matter that you don't want to take anything while pg besides PNV. If it was that bad you would take the pills. Ergo, if you don't take the pills, it can't be that bad so why are you asking him to do these things you usually take care of. Make sense??
This doesn't absolve him here at all!! You are his wife. These are his kids. He should be trying to help out in any way he can. Saying you ruined his weekend is just revolting. It's not your fault. These things happen. You are a team here. You should be working like one. Double ditto for when the Cupcakes arrive. Teamwork is the only way you guys are going to do it with 2 newborns and a toddler.
Hang in there and good luck!!
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. Men can act like little boys sometimes. It sounds like you need to tell him that not only was his weekend "ruined", but your weekend wasn't exactly a walk in the park. You are carrying his 2 unborn children, caring for a toddler and feeling concern for him all the while in a lot of pain.
I can understand why you wouldn't want to take the vicodin, but maybe just take one to take the edge off and decide if it's worth it from there. They wouldn't have prescribed it if it wasn't safe.
I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there! I'm sure your DH will come around and be the loving, caring man you know he is.
I am sorry, it is hard to not feel supported when you are pg. Fortunately he isn't like this all the time.
Now I feel quite guilty for being disappointed with DH when he had the flu on Memorial Day. Of course, I had the good sense NOT to tell him that he ruined our holiday weekend.
We had 2 years of IF trying to conceive #2 and one loss during that time. We are currently trying for #3! had another loss the end of June