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Baby Showers
TheNextWest
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Who to invite- His 2nd baby, Her first...
TheNextWest
member
in Baby Showers
It's my brother's baby and I am hosting the shower. My mom and I disagree on the guestlist, brother doesn't care and SIL doesn't know either. She just says do whatever we think is best.
He has a 2 yr old from a previous marriage, but this is her first baby. We have a HUGE family, but I don't feel right inviting all the extended family (great aunts, 2nd/3rd cousins, etc.) since it's his 2nd baby. Most of them didn't come to the shower for his first baby, they just sent a gift when he was born. I think they will do the same for this baby. Our mom says invite them all again since it's SILs first baby.
WDYT?
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Re: Who to invite- His 2nd baby, Her first...
Well I am not one who believes that showers should only be for a first baby. Showers do benefit the parents but who ultimately benefits from a shower? The baby. Every baby deserves a shower and deserves to receive gifts and well wishes that will serve a purpose in their life. I believe that showers are suppose to be a celebration of THAT specific baby.
I don't buy 'no shower for second born'. I think that is completely, 110% wrong. Each child is special and each child deserves a shower. I mean what do you tell your second, third born when in their baby book the shower part is left empty. Oh sorry honey, only your older brother/sister got a shower - not you because you weren't first.
Sorry I get a little riled up HA! But back to your question. I say send it to all. If they come, they come and if they don't, they don't. If they send a gift, they do and if they don't, they don't.
Good luck!
I agree.
I mean what do you tell your second, third born when in their baby book the shower part is left empty.
I think this is a bit much. Kids will only notice this if it's pointed out to them.
Anyhow- I don't feel 2nd showers should be huge events. Fine- all babies should be celebrated, but I don't feel that should automatically mean turning to buy you GIFTS for that baby. And yes, that is exactly what a shower is.
I personally think that you shoulnd't invite every last extended relative from your side. If they want to send a gift once the baby comes, they will regardless. Keep the invites from your side a little closer, more personal.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'm also of the "all babies deserve to be celebrated" mindset. I'd invite everyone. Those who don't want to attend or are offended certainly aren't obligated to come.
Technically, I thought that showers were to prepare new parents for life with their child. Probably your brother doesn't have all of his baby's goods from his 1st marriage, so they'd still "qualify" for a shower.
Unless this extended family knows HER well do not invite them. They are not close enough. Invite ALL of her extended family though and only the closest ones on your side. Obviously you can do what many of the other posters suggested and invite everyone...but if they didn't come to his first baby's shower they won't come to this one and might feel it is tacky that they were even invited if they don't know his wife (and may not even bother to send a gift this time).
I do not believe every baby "derserves" a baby shower. I do believe every baby should be celebrated but to do that...the baby has to be born first. Since this is her first baby (regardless that it is your brother's 2nd) she should have a shower.
Exactly. Does HE have all of this stuff, did the ex-wife keep it? I'm not a fan of second or third showers, but I do think that this situation is different. I'd throw shower as if it was his first.
Why would you not invite them? I think you'd sort of be sending the message that SIL is "second best."
Think of it this way...would you not invite them to the bridal shower because it was his second wife and they all gave gifts to the first wife? Probably not.
People are weird about baby showers. I don't get it.