Is it wrong of me...

ImaCntryGal · June 2009

To think of my sister being selfish? She had her first daughter Nov 25, 08, and is having her second baby Nov 12, 09. She didn't find the sex out (I didn't mind that) and she had a baby shower. This one, she is wanting another shower! And she isn't finding the sex out of it either (Don't mind that either).

My question-Am I over reacting with her having another shower when her 1 child won't even be a year old? She has neutral things already!

iowandfw · June 2009

she is wanting another shower?

hmm, I think I'd be not throwing her that shower. let someone else.

sweetpea7628 · June 2009

In my opinion...baby showers are for the first baby only. Especially if your second will be coming a year after the first. You got everything you needed the first time and if you didn't, you bought it.

mrs_b_2007 · June 2009

IMO, I find it tacky.

and selfish.

ImaCntryGal · June 2009

Yes, she is wanting another baby shower!

I already told her that I wasn't going to, but she got on the defensive with it! Hmmm.

hockeypirate · June 2009

sweetpea7628:

In my opinion...baby showers are for the first baby only. Especially if your second will be coming a year after the first. You got everything you needed the first time and if you didn't, you bought it.

This.

You don't ask for someone to throw you a baby shower anyways.

leslie13510 · June 2009

If someone had offered to throw her a shower and didn't really give her a choice in the matter, I'd say no she's not being selfish. We have baby showers for second babies all the time around here and I really don't get the big deal about them, unless the parents are registered for all new, big, expensive stuff that they just got a year or two ago. Then I think it's selfish.

(Usually second showers here are small get-togethers for celebrating the baby, and the gifts are little things like clothes and toys, or stuff that the parent may have gotten gender-specific for the first child and they're having the opposite sex now.)

Now if she just had a baby and is trying to get someone to throw her a shower this soon after her first, then I'd also say that's selfish. But I'd think it was selfish if it was her first and she was trying to get someone to throw her a shower.

Kara5109 · June 2009

I wouldn't throw her one either knowing that she has another child that young and should still have the things she needs.

Alex17 · June 2009

leslie13510:

If someone had offered to throw her a shower and didn't really give her a choice in the matter, I'd say no she's not being selfish. We have baby showers for second babies all the time around here and I really don't get the big deal about them, unless the parents are registered for all new, big, expensive stuff that they just got a year or two ago. Then I think it's selfish.

(Usually second showers here are small get-togethers for celebrating the baby, and the gifts are little things like clothes and toys, or stuff that the parent may have gotten gender-specific for the first child and they're having the opposite sex now.)

Now if she just had a baby and is trying to get someone to throw her a shower this soon after her first, then I'd also say that's selfish. But I'd think it was selfish if it was her first and she was trying to get someone to throw her a shower.

Ditto.

ImaCntryGal · June 2009

leslie13510:

If someone had offered to throw her a shower and didn't really give her a choice in the matter, I'd say no she's not being selfish. We have baby showers for second babies all the time around here and I really don't get the big deal about them, unless the parents are registered for all new, big, expensive stuff that they just got a year or two ago. Then I think it's selfish.

(Usually second showers here are small get-togethers for celebrating the baby, and the gifts are little things like clothes and toys, or stuff that the parent may have gotten gender-specific for the first child and they're having the opposite sex now.)

Now if she just had a baby and is trying to get someone to throw her a shower this soon after her first, then I'd also say that's selfish. But I'd think it was selfish if it was her first and she was trying to get someone to throw her a shower.

Well I think the thing that bothers me the most is how she got mad at me when I told her no, I wasn't going to throw her baby shower. She did ask me to do the first one. No problem there. I agree with the second baby shower being no big deal, because I have friends who have a second shower all the time. But with her having 2 showers without knowing the sex is ridiculous to me being that she has clothes that are either sex. IDK

capinjen152 · June 2009

I would tell her I would throw her a party after the baby is born. That way she can still have a get together and people will get to meet the baby, more than just give gifts to someone who probably doesn't need them.

jebuell · June 2009

I guess I don't get the big deal about the second shower thing. We celebrated my cousins 3rd pregnancy (just 1.5 years after her third and three years after her first and she had both genders already and didn't know the gender of this baby). We just got together and celebrated her pregnancy and another baby being added to our family. So... I guess I'm with your sister. All pregnancies and children should be celebrated.

And just because she wants a party doesn't mean she's gift grabbing, unless she's specifically said she wants this party to get more things. Maybe you could suggest a small gathering/lunch and have it be a diaper party.

Blasianlove · June 2009

Alex17:
leslie13510:

If someone had offered to throw her a shower and didn't really give her a choice in the matter, I'd say no she's not being selfish. We have baby showers for second babies all the time around here and I really don't get the big deal about them, unless the parents are registered for all new, big, expensive stuff that they just got a year or two ago. Then I think it's selfish.

(Usually second showers here are small get-togethers for celebrating the baby, and the gifts are little things like clothes and toys, or stuff that the parent may have gotten gender-specific for the first child and they're having the opposite sex now.)

Now if she just had a baby and is trying to get someone to throw her a shower this soon after her first, then I'd also say that's selfish. But I'd think it was selfish if it was her first and she was trying to get someone to throw her a shower.

Ditto.

This

ImaCntryGal · June 2009

jebuell:

And just because she wants a party doesn't mean she's gift grabbing, unless she's specifically said she wants this party to get more things. Maybe you could suggest a small gathering/lunch and have it be a diaper party.

Funny you say that. She did say that she wanted more things. But you do have a good point...a diaper party! Never even thought of that! You can never have to many diapers

JAllen32 · June 2009

Maybe she has never heard that etiquitte rule about one shower. I had never heard it before I started bumping. I always thought, pregnant=babyshower. But I do think it is rude to ASK someone to throw you a shower, though. That is selfish. Would you ASK someone to throw you a birthday party? No. I don't think you did anything wrong.

mrsc720 · June 2009

In my family, every baby is celebrated with a shower. Nobody should ask for a shower though. She may want one, but that doesn't mean she should get one. Although I am hoping that our family sticks to tradition, I would not expect gifts from anyone attending a shower with this situation.

Want a personalized experience?

Is it wrong of me...

Re: Is it wrong of me...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards