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When did you really start to like be a SAHM?
My twins are almost 4 months old and I don't know if I like being a SAHM...I just feel lonely, bored, it's hard to get out of the house with two, etc. Was there a time when you started to really like staying at home?
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Re: When did you really start to like be a SAHM?
It took me a while. I definitely do not think you can judge SAH on just the first few months. It is such a new adjustment w/ 1 baby, I cannot imagine how tough it can be w/ 2. Like with any job, it takes time. DS was born in Feb.08 and I'd say I really found my "groove" once summer got into full swing. I'd shower at night and get ready either while he napped or while he sat in the pnp in the morning. My friend who had a baby in Jan. was just saying the same thing. She feels like now that summer is here things will be better. Once I was able to get out for a walk everyday I felt SO much better. Sometimes I'd go first thing in the a.m. and then shower while he napped. Then I'd go out again after lunch. This year is a piece of cake in terms of getting out compared to last year, imo. I think overall, the first year is the toughest when it comes to adjusting to this brand new lifestyle.
Are there any Mom's groups in your area? Playgrounds? Pools? Have you checked Meetup.com? There are a lot on there. We do a few activities too, although most do take a summer break. There is storytime at our Library (free) that is broken up into age groups. We also do Music Together which I HIGHLY recommend. It's awesome. Our spring session ends in late June though, and the fall sesssion begins in Sept. Most Barnes and Nobles do storytimes twice per week as well. If there is one nearby, call them. Or other bookstores.
Some areas also have Stroller Strides, Mom/Baby yoga, Swim lessons (our local Y does these.) I do realize that it is hard ot do some things w/ twins though! Maybe you could hire a high school or college girl to help you a day or two per week for a couple of hours while you get ready or even to go out with you so you could attend things, or just to get out until you get the hang of things.
GL! It WILL get easier,and very enjoyable, imo. Once a nap routine is set and they need to eat a bit less often, it will be so much easier. Also, they will be laughing and interacting with you a lot more soon. So, you'll be getting a lot more in return than just the "Give give give" of the first few months. GL!
Around 6-8 months I started liking it (before that I really thought I had made a mistake and wanted to go back to wok). The key things for me were when DS finally got into a shedule (I am super Type A and the lack of predictability the first few months drove me nutso), and meeting a lot of other moms (we did a lot of classes, joined my local moms club, etc).
The first few months are so, so hard. It gets better!
lol... give it until morning - it is the weekend, you know!
I liked it right off the bat, but I'd say I got into a reeeeeal groove around 4ish months. The weather was warmer, we made lots of new friends just walking around, I felt like I was sort of getting my body back. It gets more rewarding the older they get, though! Lots of funny stories to tell DH when he gets home!
I'm sure it's a different experience with twins, but hang in there!
After the kids turn 1. I'm still waiting for #3 to turn 1. At 1, you have a VERY set routine, and it's easy to plan your days and get out and do stuff. Before that, it's a crapshoot.
I LOVE my kids, but I HATE the newborn stage. I know others love the newborn stage though. They're very needy, and I've BF (still BFing #3) and so they take longer to STTN, etc.
Hang in there! It will get easier for you. I'm not sure what it's like with twins, but I have 3 kids under the age of 4 right now, and it's not easy at all!
i've always liked it but it probably just depends on your personality, plus it would be MUCH harder with 2. no advice there.
DS was a june baby and it was awesome to get out and walk almost every day. i also have several friends who have babies/toddlers and work part-time or not at all so i would get together w/some of them fairly often. i also started going to parents and teachers play groups and library reading times early on (like at about 3-4 months old). it's mostly for the mom's benefit! ...to get to chat w/other moms.
good luck - i'm sure it is way harder w/twins. maybe invite a SAHM friend over if you have any - then you don't have to be the one loading up the kids and leaving but you can chat w/someone who can talk!
I always really loved it, but I agree with pp who said after 4 months they still felt kind of post-partum not totally recovered yet. I had a tough pregnancy and I honestly did not feel that great for the 1st 6 months at least after DS was born. After that it got easier as I started to feel better physically, plus it got easier to take him out and about, etc.
You already have some good suggestions..making mommy friends would be my #1 suggestion. If you are religious you could probably find some through your church. That's where I met alot of other SAHM's and also some working moms who just wanted to get together sometimes too. So that is a great resource. If not, mom's groups, MOPS, things like that. Or if you have family in town maybe someone could babysit once in a while?
Does DH help out? That makes a huge difference too. If not, I would talk to him and let him know how you are feeling and see if he can help out more so you can feel better. Hugs!
My twins are 7 months old and I really started loving it around 6 months old bc they were playing and old enough to stay up longer so we could interact more.
I know what you mean about getting out of the house, more often than not it is easier to stay home bc it is a pain in the butt to get both of them fed, dressed, and out the door. Then loading them and unloading them in the car is a job in itself.
Hang in there it will get better. We are going to buy those fisher price swings you hang in your yard today as another option for us during the day. We also go on walks around our neighborhood, read books, sing songs, and play around on the floor nad on our bed.
Hang in there it does get more fun I promise.
Weird, but it kind of fit the whole "give a job 6 months before you decide whether or not you like it" mentality for me. Although it was something I always knew I wanted to do, it was definitely an adjustement for me. I told myself to hang in there and give myself sometime for both DC and I to get the hang of this mom and child thing.
I have a day every once in awhile where I think it would be great to get dressed in a suit, head off to work, stop and get a coffee, attend some meetings, go to an uninterrupted lunch with co-workers, feel like I've accomplished something productive and rewarding... and then remind myself that there is nothing so productive or rewarding as raising my son.
I plan to go back to work when my DS is in school so I value every day with him and all of the opportunities to hug him whenever he needs a hug, help him try new foods, meet new friends at the park and just grow into an amazing little boy.
I will openly and honestly admit that I DID NOT like the first 6 weeks being at home because 1) I had no family or friends to help me in my adjustment to being a new mom (regardless of whether I worked or not, this was a really hard time for me) and 2) my husband wasn't able to take any time off work as he had just started a new job, in their "crunch time" and 3) I didn't have any friends that had recently become new mothers themselves to give me some advice/suggestions about that first month. It was really rough, almost depressing... the sleep deprivation was enough to send me over the edge but it did get better and has continued to get better over the last 3 years!
Once Emily was sleeping through the night (8+ hours) at 8 weeks old I felt like a brand new person and could actually function clearly throughout my days. It was at this time that local Mom's Groups began to form through a Non-profit organization here in CA so, I had a meeting once a week that I really looked forward to. This official program lasted 8 weeks and then, we just continued to meet up every single day - those girls saved my life, seriously and I still love them and count them as my best friends to this day! Having other first time moms with similar aged children to vent to and to discuss my daily concerns and accomplishments with made all the difference in my world!
Then, at 5 1/2 months, she was finally sleep-trained and could self-soothe, fall asleep on her own (she no longer required being rocked to sleep for 2 hours and ZERO noise!) and was sleeping 12 hours through the night. At this point, we got a sound machine for her room and kept the baby monitor on the lowest setting so that we'd only hear her if she was crying (she mumbled and squeaked in her sleep a lot and it kept us both up for months!!!). Our bedtime routine was short and finally left more time for DH and I to have time for each other in the evenings!
Then, I clearly remember the "high" of happiness and freedom I was on once she turned 8 months old and could sit up in a grocery cart, entertain herself for hours, crawl and cruise. She became my "easy" baby at that point and we were on a solid routine of three naps a day and she was eating solids three times a day. It was true bliss and only when she began to cut her molars around 18 months did we have trouble.
Hang in there, you have it doubly hard with twins and I bet you will continue to experience ups & downs as most of us have but I personally think that once they are sleeping through the night 10-12 hours and are on a solid schedule, it's all "easy" from that point on.
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11
I really had trouble the first three months. I'm pretty good with change, but this was such a huge change from my former life. I really was NOT a nesting type person, so to be stuck at home, breastfeeding all the time, never getting enough work done, the house a mess -- it was definitely stressful for me.
It took about 6 months, but I learned to order my days so that things got done (I was also in grad school at night). It doesn't seem like so much work now. DD also developed a better sleeping schedule around then, so DH and I could reconnect.
At around 9 months, DD's little personality really started to shine through, and now she is just so fun to be around. I love that she is learning how to be a human from ME. What an amazing responsibility. I love it and feel so lucky.
Definitely try to get out one night a week after your DH gets home. Do whatever you find energizing -- I did yoga -- and if you can count on that one night a week, you'll feel less stuck at home the rest of the time.
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any day now ?*fingers crossed*!! ?:) ?
This week has been fantastic though. ?But, that's probably because my parents took Kitten to KS with them for a week and a half so that I could focus on my class. ?11 days of sleeping in, going out to lunch, going for a run without the stroller, and of course studying. ?It's soooooo nice!?